Funny Wedding Poems | Examples
These Funny Wedding poems are examples of Wedding poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Wedding Funny poems written by international poets.
Montague mouse wants to purchase a hat
“Why do you need that,” asked milliner cat
Montague replied, “It’s so that I can marry”
I must wear a nice hat for when I wed Barry”
“Barry told me that he won’t leave the house
If I don’t wear a titfer,” said Montague mouse
So please create a rainbow hat – it mustn’t be grey
And I’ll wear it with gay pride on our wedding day!
The wedding hat’s embellished with feathers of pink
An apple, an orange and trimmed with soft lilac mink!
The crispy crusty bread
Was as lonely as it gets
As handsome as he was
He had no bride to wed
The crispy crusty bread
He tries all that he can
But to woo a bride he can't
Except the rickety stickety jam
The crispy crusty bread
At last, at noon he said
By this time tomorrow
Bride or death, I'll have instead
The crispy crusty bread
At last,wooed a lass called butter
They had a wedding on the stars
And lived happily ever after
I used to miss your touch, now your hands feel like claws
I used to melt in your stare, now your eyes come with bristles
I used to miss your shag and plaits, now you wear a tail of a horse
I used to miss a natural shape, now your curves are created by a dose
I used to miss your call of my name, now you sound like Americanos and Angles
Tell me if I’m stuck in history, lagging behind as the *****Sapien evolves
I once was funny, made most people smile.
Children loved me because they didn't know:
I kept them laughing, yet all of the while,
my heart was aching without loving glow.
A sad-looking smile was best I could show.
My true love left close to our wedding day--
enormous shock and I felt my heart frey.
If life's in tatters, I'll make my smile strong
for children need a clown along the way.
I'll be their sunshine and they'll be my song!
January 2, 2023
for Tatters poetry contest
by Mystic Rose Rose
Dizain
I went to a church filled with white
Beds of roses scattered in the site
I stepped aside for the dashing bride
Coming down the aisle, a rushing groom with pride.
I was asked why I am dressed all-black?
I said I was invited for necrological.
Everybody nodded why I sounded philosophical
"Oh, I forgot. Tomorrow I will come back!"
On the first floor of a hotel in Cape Cod
A larger than average lady got on the elevator
She pressed floor number two
Immediately I blurted out “Number two???”
“You could have walked”
Her immediate response was
“What??? And lose a pound!”
My new wife first cringed
then breathed a big sigh of relief
Sometimes I blurt out stuff without thinking
VERY DANGEROUS!!!
My late cousin’s daughter was to get married
at a place some 80 km from their residence,
I was asked to drive her there and I agreed,
it was like my daughter’s wedding in a sense.
So, in the afternoon of a chilly winter day
we started, the bride occupied the backseat hot
with two other girls, I’d no idea who were they,
must be two of her best friends, I thought.
All the talking was done by her voluble friends,
the bride was quiet all through the journey,
thinking perhaps if her free life-style would end,
or she was exhausted, too tired to talk, probably.
We reached the venue late, a full half an hour,
I told them to get down quick, rush to the room,
I would join them and others after I park the car
and bring the bouquet I bought for the groom.
When I came back I heard there a big commotion,
for the bride I brought with me was missing,
I realized what had happened in second’s fraction,
went back to the car, found her on backseat sleeping.
January 10, 2022
Contest : Funny Memories
Sponsor : Natasha L Scragg
Feelings
Are they real?
Sadness and anger sure,
But love?
Is it made up?
Because you are meant to
Think deep, do you believe?
That you really do
Or are you making yourself feel?
Not the random de ja vu
Oh I realised
But the questioning how you feel
The abrupt need to answer
What you really do not feel
Food for thought
Look in deep
To know if you are in deep.
near ritual fire with holy chants,
dressed I sat in my stylish western suit,
day heat reading celsius forty two!
unbearable were tailored woollen pants,
my pouring sweat looked for an exit route,
where to?
if you wed in India, wear light dress,
you sweat less and look colourful and cute,
in your new suit you feel like a hot stew!
in summer heat I fainted in a mess,
no clue!
1st placement
The Speaker contest
sponsor Sara Kendrik
Written 25/10/20
11 lines abc abc dbc dc rhyme
with 10,10,10,10,10,2,10,10,10,10,2 syllable count on soup syllable counter
Weddings used to be solemn.
Reverent.
No one spoke as they entered the church.
It was like a funeral only less flowers.
Super respectful air of silence.
Solemn occasion.
We took it seriously.
Even the children entered quietly.
If there was a peep, people looked.
The rites were serious.
The priest or minister walked up and we could not hear their shoes.
Beautiful music was played.
Groom and best man walked up first.
No grinning or talking.
We watched in silence.
Bridesmaids walked up a certain way.
Flower girl laid down petals in silence.
Ring bearer dropped the rings and no one laughed.
Reverent.
A solemn occasion
When the song came on, we all stood for the bride.
No one stands for the bride now.
Bride and groom are pulled in on a sleigh with their children
Wedding held in a pub. Everyone laughing, guzzling beer.
Minister got his license sending in two crackerjack box tops and five dollars.
If he is not funny enough, some guests leave.
Mountain oysters are on the bar.
Yucka Yucka. Marriage is over in three months.
PRODUCED WEDDING FIASCO
If cantaloupe
Could elope
and marry a honey dew melon
What would happen
If a cabbage out grows the garden
As crabgrass and dandelions rapes the fruits and vegetables
All this and inclement weather
What's the matter
Cantaloupe cancels the wedding?
Why! you may ask amongst the dandelions and crabgrass
Because they cantaloupe
7/30/18
written words by James Edward Lee Sr.©2018
My cousin’s daughter was to get married
at a place some 80 km from the residence.
I was asked to drive her there and I agreed,
it was like my daughter’s wedding in a sense.
So in the afternoon of a chilly winter day
we’d started, the bride occupied the backseat
with two other girls, I’d no idea who were they,
must be two of her best friends, I hadn’t met.
All the talking was done by her voluble friends,
the bride was quiet all through the journey,
thinking perhaps of life-changing occasion grand
or by then she was too tired to talk, probably.
We reached the venue late, a full half an hour.
I told them to get down quick and rush inside,
I’d join them and others after I park the car
and bring the flowers I bought for the bride.
When I came back I heard there a big commotion.
The bride who was to come with me was missing.
I realized what had happened in second’s fraction,
went back to the car, found her on backseat sleeping.
Her friends were busy talking, didn’t clearly hear me.
The happening for me wasn’t a thing quite so funny.
June 29, 2018.
A funny thing happened
on the way to my wedding
the white limo picked me up as scheduled
along with sister and mom all dolled up
My sister found a stash of the cutest
mini bottles of champagne
and we had to give them a try
so told the chauffeur
to take the scenic route
We were warm and giggly
till the supply finally ran out
we ended up being a little late but
I knew my promised one would understand
It never occurred to me that
with each passing minute
he might think I would leave him
hanging at the altar
and simply not show up
Of course I’m kidding
we drank that champagne fast enough
that we weren’t late at all
Submitted on June 28, 2018 for contest A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY... sponsored by ROBERT HAIGH - RANKED 8TH
SNAIL
I love my cool wheelchair to bits.
But when I get married it fits
to walk down the aisle,
it may take a while...
by then they're all snoring, the gits!
***
LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE LIMERICK CONTEST
sponsor: Jan Allison
October 13, 2016
Don't put me on call
No, no, no, I'm not begging sentiment
All know, just, engaged ago a day
Expectation and wishes flushed from within
So, do not put me, please, on call today
This is a version of mind, admittingly
And requirement of always, for all men women
All know so begging for same as culture
Avoid my need for day to day
Honey moon educated me for the course before
The taste of event ensured without ampire
That was the game of, previous job was
Now, no need to make further excuses
So, before blaming accept intense of situation
My leave, for tie, if not appreciation
Not asking weeks' absent for this
Merely, put aside for on call to day.
4/27/2016
Deepak chalise.