We’ve reached a point
Where simple words now trigger reactions
Completely devoid of meaning.
I won’t share some of those words now
Because they might trigger you
Or for sure the censor bots
Who patrol the web.
But we can all imagine a few,
Words and symbols which once had use
Rich in context and meaning
But then were perverted
In the name of some now canceled cause.
Of course there are many more causes
Waiting to be cancelled
So soon all descriptive terms and symbols
Will no longer exist to trigger the easily disturbed.
When that day comes
We will be reduced to composing in code
Numbers in combinations of aughts and ones
But then again,
That primary binary basis of reality
Will no doubt trigger us too.
And then we will be left
In silent pantomime of our truths
Reality reduced at last
To the charade it has become.
(9/2/26)
I was asleep now I’m awake
Had a bad dream about rape
Im okay it wasn’t real
But it hasn’t happened in so many years
I’m a survivor of incest
I forgave dad not upset
I write now just to sift
Bad from past let soul lift
Up others who say get over it
We do you know but the brain plays tricks
We can be triggered even if well
So we get it out when we tell
I am a survivor till I’m dead
I am a survivor survivor I said
Triggered from your words, makes me want to take action, making me feel unable to self-regulate.
Triggered by your picture, makes me want to kiss you all over, making me forget all logic.
Triggered by that food, makes me want to eat it, even though I am full and have reached my calorie limit.
Triggered can come by many ways, it can be with words, and pictures and smells, just to think of a few.
Triggered can make us do things we would never do, but some are tricky and know how to get to us and make us move.
Triggered can be for money, making us do something ugly, and then later we feel sad because we let someone lead us to wrong.
Triggered into growing into a bad person, or to living a negative life, all can be caused by someone who triggered us into a result.
So be aware, and do not get triggered, move away, and leave the situation.
Lifting prayers to God, today and always.
nobody pours the first drink
planning to smash a face
or throw a chair through a window
or say the one sentence
that burns down a marriage
they pour it because the day was heavy
because the mirror asked too many questions
because silence felt like a jail cell
alcohol isn’t courage
it’s a solvent
it loosens the screws
that kept the monster bolted to the floor
some men turn soft
crying over dogs they kicked years ago
some men turn poetic
talking about God and jazz and women who left
and some—
some discover there was a fist
waiting behind their ribs
all along
violence doesn’t arrive drunk
it was already renting a room
alcohol just hands it the key
the punch comes faster
than the thought
the apology comes later
if it comes at all
bars are full of mysteries
but this one’s simple:
booze doesn’t invent the devil
it just lets him talk louder
and when the lights come on
and the blood dries
everyone says the same thing—
“I didn’t know I was like that.”
yeah.
nobody ever does.
The firing pin is in position,
Primed awaiting the decision to fire,
The target has been acquired.
I require more information,
The operation is under observation.
I'm stationed safely in my heart,
Starting to pick apart the details.
Tailing the target so I don't forget,
It's all in my mind,
I designed how this goes.
Hiding in the shadows,
So no one knows I know,
Cloaked by a coat of intuition,
I fit in tight spaces.
Embracing the darkness,
Facing my own mess,
I press forward to the goal.
My soul flows with confidence,
Growing my experience.
The clearance has been given,
I'm aiming with precision,
The mission in critical condition.
I listen to the breeze,
Before I squeeze the trigger,
Aligned with the bigger picture.
I fire with pure intention,
Unloading my weapon of perception,
Healing a collection of souls,
Looking for their part in the whole.
i overdosed for the first time last night
all the times i spent trying before
didn't seem as bad anymore
i laid in bed trying to sleep
hoping this would be the time
my eyes stayed closed forever
but i was held awake against my will
deep in my brain,
i knew something was wrong
even if this is what i've been wishing for
for so long
in the past i managed to fall right to sleep
when i took less than i did now
i wanted to be swept into dreamland
but the wheels in my brain kept turning
and my body did too
flipping back and forth
trying to be in a comfortable final position
i kept getting hot
no matter how little blanket i had on
and the wave of nausea hit
i thought i could be fine
go to sleep, make it all go away
all of it
but as i rushed into my bathroom
at four in the morning
i knew tonight wouldn't be the night
as my head hung over the toilet
i wondered why i'm forced to stay
reliving the same treacherous days
without anyone knowing
because how do you even bring that up?
to someone?
i don't know why this world is so adamant
to keep me here, held captive as a prisoner
is this karma?
what did i do that was so bad?
to deserve this?
let me be the danger you carry around
darling place your gun on my head
pull its trigger when it feels too much
even if i'm hanging by the thread
I'm bleeding while lying on the ground
my imbecile lover's sword in my chest
let go of my hand and don't be my savior
save yourself before heaven falls upon us
Reminders
Of time
Are plentiful..
All with a
Brush of
Separation
Which may
Trigger an
Appreciation of
Story..which
Makes nothing of
Reminders...
I still remember the day you stole my innocence away.
The world shifted—
colors drained from golden light to endless shadow.
It started as a simple conversation,
slowly pulling me down to your basement.
I was only 13 years old
when you left me to walk home on shaking legs.
At first, I thought I deserved it—
because fear stole my words before I could speak.
You stole my voice, my innocence, my dignity, leaving me with nothing but fragments of myself.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse,
it did.
Another man used his hands,
leaving me with bruises and broken ribs.
He said it was because "he could."
But my story didn’t end there—
I would never allow it.
I was left with scars, but never silence.
I am a survivor, not a coward.
I’ve got a thesaurus and a gun
arming torpor trigger fingers;
Poetry at point blank range,
silver bullet savage;
Deliberate verse
detonated,
you never
felt the
hit.
Africa is a shotgun
The origin of all civilization
Nigeria is the Trigger
But its a long shot away
From pulling the trigger
Awaiting the rise of the giant
Of the dark continent
Oh !! Africa how long shall
Wait for your emergence.
(Written 20th October, 2024)
• Pull the trigger
•Shoot your shot
• Kill him before the blood starts to clot
On the way to trigger land
Not only did I get lost
But I misplaced my gun
My children laughed
Knowing I never had one
I talk tough when I feel vulnerable
Seeing through me,
They wondered what was wrong
Had I gone off my medication?
I am older now
Alzheimer’s could come calling at any moment
After all it took my dad didn’t it?
My mind was playing weird tricks today
I wisely stayed away from the phone and computer
Not wanting to hear criticisms or critique
Children I raised
Who think they know more than I ever can
Because my hair is white and my body had gone to seed.
To those who reject it
Truth is a trigger
While to those who embrace it
Truth is a glimmer
Of the light and love and joy
That so utterly and simply
Is what it means
To be alive
(11/5/14)
Why you don't want me?
why do you prefer to be alone?
why it is better to go back
and live the way you lived before?
why you don't like me?
why do you have to go?
why I feel the same way
I've felt since I was born?
I know it is not you
I know it is my past
I know you trigger all my fears
I know you bring back what is sad
I know I deserve better
I know I need to straighten my back
clear the tears of my eyes
and say goodbye...at last.
Jessica
(Sorry guys to vent so much here...this is just a place where no one knows me so I feel free to write whatever heck come to my heart and mind, no need to read)
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