all these candles tell me to die,
but one is my wish to live
Dusk
brings a sense of calm
Sultry tones of his laugh
rent my headspace
Wrap around my fingers
like a lightning rod
Flush my face with fantasies
but none are rated family
And my juvenile self wonders
What it's like
to be consumed by love...
I think I'm close.
I for one
I’m being strangled
by the radiance of his half-life essence.
Ubiquitous beauty,
bleeding through my AMOLED screen.
To truly appreciate it
I need this in 4D.
4D? Why not 3D?
Because... for me
I want to exist beside his.
If my beginning and end are the same,
I’d want them both to have his.
And if I spent it all for his
I’d be the happiest frivol.
I thought living was a time where I didn’t know when my last day was going to be.
only I do.
I spent my time trying to fit in boxes that I’m not square enough for.
I’ve tried to fit in spheres that I’m not quite round enough for.
I’ve tried to fit in jars and I’m not quite long enough for.
I’ve tried to fit in picture frames that are just too big for me.
I can’t fill any hole.
I can’t fill any empty space.
I can only make it worse.
I write down the thoughts I need to say.
I say them and they don’t come out quite right,
They never do.
They look me up and down and left and right and they don't choose me.
Not even me.
I think and write all of the reasons why,
But i never can
Maybe because I talk too much,
Or I talk about myself too much,
Or maybe I was cocky that one day, even though I didn't mean to.
I don't understand.
“I have friends,
But I want more.
Ones that are real.”
That didn't come out right.
It sounded right when I wrote it.
Maybe that’s the reason they look me up and down and left and right…
Because they’re trying to see into me,
And they did.
How should I tell them?
Tell them who I really am-
How I feel,
How I act.
Will they still love me?
Will they still care for me?
Will they be there for me?
Something I will never know.
Something lost out there.
Something I will probably never see.
That part of me is hidden.
Buried so deep,
other wounds are already piled
on top of it.
When the mirror shattered it took my vision
Eyes cut so deep my tears were red
Broken and despaired no light reached my eye
Reflecting on myself without a mirror
Appearances cost so much
Broken glass everywhere all I can feel is silver
I hate the fake me but they just want more
Silver ain’t good enough, they only want gold.
Said I was special but secretly despised me
Projecting their flaws onto me
I can’t blame them
Clown is a clown no matter how funny
A Carnival of carnivores
Eat the meat discard the bones
Wish someone would toss me some
But I am beyond repair
My name is mirror man
But not anymore
Who am I now?
Just a man?
Higgledy-Giggled
Iron-spined advocate
Raised you with discipline
Unyielding.
Young mama rises in opposition
Big Momma stood solid-
Tough love that felt mean
But-
Built one unbreakable.
A mind that flows like a journal .
Ideas that stretch as long as river canals.
The ambience is burdened and sinks once in a while.
The focus , undisturbed like the Blue lotus of the Nile.
At that moment with everything on its climax,
The surreptitious heart doesn't allow the body to relax.
With simple words to be said ,the throat is choked,
The sensitivity of the heart was poked.
Stuck on the same predicament with no solutions,
This problem exfoliates with the burning passions.
All passing shadows are the regular audience.
The night weighs the duration with an alarming presence.
Sleep feels like a futile exercise with a heavy chest,
All it takes is one word after the other to finally rest.
Are you scared that your words would be what they detest?
Fool, I think telling them is for the best,
Even if your role in their life is of a guest's.
Human nature
No dont touch me
You hit me first
So tell me why
Why, why, why/ Dont touch me
Just sit
Another strike
And another
One last one
Bow, boom, kabow
Now its over
And no one knows
Why.
Creation
A baby is born
And no one knows why
Well through it in the garbage can
Like Tupac said
*
"Tell mama don't cry"
What a life
What a life it lived,
And no one knows
why
Except you.
IN THE PILLARING OF LIFE
Be a pillar
Of peace and love;
Supporting justice
And equity:
Foundations
Of democracy;
And it’s roofing
From above:-
It's a cold winter night,
For blanket there occurs a small fight,
Everyone wants wood to light ,
We all miss the sun which is so bright.
I am sitting on my bed and thinking ,
Outside the house there is silence and street light is blinking.
All the students want holiday,
The winter is making our play .
Old people are chanting God's name,
Children got holiday and are playing game,
The craze of winter is losing it's fame ,
The workers started it to blame.
It's the time of winter season,
Everyone are inside their home because this is the reason,
For winter , people started changing their vision ,
Without covid it seems like lockdown as it creates lots of confusion.
We all miss the sun which is very bright,
Because, it's a cold winter night.
I watch the world
Changing every day
The sun comes up
But never in the same way.
Freedom calls me
To soar thru the sky
To reach for my dreams
And learn how to fly.
I want to see things
The legends foretold
The treasures of the world
More valuable than gold.
I want to run swiftly
Among the flowers and trees
Exploring the unknown
Carefree like the bees.
Through the dense forest
Above the tall trees
Deep in the waters
My spirit flees.
The wind in my hair
The clouds passing by
Free as a bird
In the vast blue sky.
They say I'm young
Not responsible enough
But I will show them
I've grown tough.
I’m gonna make my mark
And show them all
I will become the legend
They tremble to call.
My courage will be known
For miles around
And my strength, though silent
Will stand its ground.
What’s a real friend?
I may still have some secrets.
Are you still faithful?
“Why are you here today?”
“I know I shouldn’t be.”
“No. Here at therapy.”
“Oh, then I guess for when I think like that.”
For when my brain switches to the worst possible situation.
For when I force myself into a hole that I’ve never fit into.
For when my least favorite question interrupts my impending obsessions.
‘Are you okay?’
No.
I’m not.
But they would never want to hear that.
So you lie.
And lie.
And lie.
Till your tongue gets twisted with sickening words.
Words that you promised would never see the light of day.
So, sure.
I’m okay.”
“Have you ever noticed that you overthink?”
“Never.”
“Why are you here today?”
“I know I shouldn’t be.”
“No. Here at therapy.”
“Oh, then I guess for when I think like that.”
For when my brain switches to the worst possible situation.
For when I force myself into a hole that I’ve never fit into.
For when my least favorite question interrupts my impending obsessions.
‘Are you okay?’
No.
I’m not.
But they would never want to hear that.
So you lie.
And lie.
And lie.
Till your tongue gets twisted with sickening words.
Words that you promised would never see the light of day.
So, sure.
I’m okay.”
“Have you ever noticed that you overthink?”
“Never.”
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