Funny Tea Poems | Examples

These Funny Tea poems are examples of Tea poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Tea Funny poems written by international poets.


Premium MemberThe Etiquette of Prehensile Tails

If medicine gives us a tail,
The proper should not let it flail.
It should be coiled tight,
Though tea-holding's right,
Or holding the rudder to sail.


Premium MemberOff Duty - A Star Trek Deleted Scene

Captain Picard enters his quarters
after a hard day on the bridge, the
Enterprise had left Klingon space
    
    Tea, Earl Grey, hot

The replicator whirred inaudibly

    Damn it! 
    Cup!
    CUP!

    Water, soapy, hot

The replicator responded again

    Damn it!
    Red alert!

Tea With A Handshake

Crossroads in the desert sands swirls,
an orb whirls around as clouds gather,
lightning bolt violet violently twirls,
roads crack with shotgun thunder.

Visage a pearl cascades as she approaches me,
cut through the dirt she speaks a litany reverie,
“You enjoy your dream, your echo, everything?”

My foot slides back as countenance begin smiling
“I didn’t shake or sign anything, don’t owe a thing”

Rain of black drops, red flower petals float to stop,
her face is red hot, phase, her hand on throat,
neck pop, body flop, she goes to exit and haha.

Body mockery, perversion snapping it all in place,
grotesquerie malediction snickering, wink, nod,
oh my she isn’t happy, torn asunder, plundered.

Macabre poetess back to life, Frankenstein revive,
staring into her eyes, “Legends never truly die”

Read in between the lines buh-bye

Premium MemberTea for two

Two giraffes decided to see
what the English have for their tea.
They stuck in their necks,
and each of them checks,
then ruled it was too bourgeoisie.

Those Giraffes

Once I had left my tea to cool
and two giraffes thought me a fool
they stuck their heads in
and formed a big grin
before drinking my tea. How cruel!


Premium MemberTea Time


Although not invited, they came
The wide-open window was game!
Their long necks reached in
Gave licking a spin!
Giraffes enjoyed tea just the same!

A Tea Story

Finally! I ordered my favorite tea!
To the ocean of flavors,
To the flavorful seas,
Gonna use the same bag twice!
So precious!
Do you know what?
I am feeling a bit nice,
A little generous!
I am gonna give some to my electrician,
"This is great! This is nice!" he lied I messed up,
It was bitter, it was not nice
Hey! It's bitter! Don't lie! Don't even try!
"Okay, it sucks"
What now? How to fix it?
"I don't know, dip it in some rice?"

Tea With Crackers

Honor me with your company at tea
Outdoors where the air is always free
A table awaits us on the railroad tracks
Have a seat facing me my good old friend

The 10:00 am bullet train is coming fast
It should arrive on time this time
Would you like some jam with crackers?
Don’t worry.  Don’t look behind you
That sound you hear is your imagination

Thunder is normal this time of year
If you feel a draft just close your eyes
It will pass through you once upon a time
Impacts are funny like that

It is after ten.  I fear a crash is near 
Drink up while you can my friend 
I’m sorry.  Did I say crash?
Crackers is what I meant to say
Good day

Premium MemberHaving Tortoise Family To Tea

We invited the new family to Sunday tea.
Who knew they would all tortoises be?
We pretended it was normal, Gram and me.
They did not reach for a single chocolate chip cookie.

Go out and catch some flies, said Auntie Bea.
They like them fresh and alive with their tea.
The way she knew was funny to little old me.
She used to date an old tortoise, you see.

Premium MemberTea For Two

Kim Jong Un invited Putin for tea
Trump was miffed that they didn't include he
So when they both went to pee
Trump locked them in with a key 
Said that'll teach them not to invite me...

Written 8th June 2022. 

A funny Limerick - Any Theme Poetry Contest

Sponsored by Tania Kitchin 

Syllables checked on, how many syllables. Com

Premium MemberRetirement In View

retirement close, Arthur sadly wonders, 
                      ponders ruefully what his passions are! 
                              to merrily spend the days...
                             golf or pool! dearest wife says -
                       must get my tea in bed, whatsoever!



                                       May 31, 2022
                  A Funny Limerick - Any Theme Poetry Contest
                                 Sponsor: Tania Kitchin
                     Syllables (!0 and 7) checked by HMS.com

Premium MemberA Little Conversation and a Cup of Tea

A little conversation and a cup of tea
A cube of sugar with cream to please
Speak of the weather, gossip causally
A little joke more silly than funny
Talk of a book both forgot to read
More conversation and another cup of tea
He married her how could that be
The dog had another litter of puppies
Share a secret which is extra juicy
More conversation without the tea
Laughing to tears getting lively
Say something it's not believed
Suddenly it seems all was to deceive
Time for everyone to get up and leave
No more conversation and a cup empty.

Premium MemberFrom 2013-Once Upon a Time Bubba Had the Flu

Bubba has the flu 
I do not know what to do 
Since Bubba has the flu

I can not see in front of me 
I can not see behind me and Bubba still has the flu 
And I do not know what to do 

Should I call Sherlock to find out what happen to make Bubba to have the flu 
He would know what to do about Bubba having the flu 

Sherlock sure did know what to do about having the flu 
He gave me a Watson bulb to screw into the situation '
And there was no more reason to burn the wood since we had this position  
 
Once in the socket the bright light look like a rocket 
And now I have got it 
 
I can now see in front of me 
I can now see behind me 
But as for Bubba, he still has the flu 
And I still do not know what to do.

The Boston Tea Party - 1773

An ancestor known as, "Miss Lottie"
Was a New York socialite "hottie"
To her lasting disgrace
She slapped Paul Revere's face
When he invited her to the p-ah-ty

Premium MemberFortuitous Tea

Tea for two, for me, for you
Buckwheats for three, you, and you, and me
Huckleberries for four, that's what we adore
Spring rolls for five make us feel alive
Chalupas for six, served on heated bricks
Matzo balls for seven without a bit of levin
Piroshki for eight and won't we all feel great
Potato cakes for nine, that's such a lot to dine
Apple pie for ten then start over again
Frittata for one and now I'm finally done.

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