pliers… scalpel… knife…
drat… I feel the pulse of life…
if not for my wife…
_______________________
MILs = Mothers-in-Law
A tribute to Poetry Soup's Emilia James
I don't like to be namin' names,
but check out Emilia James.
You'll find your poetic reward
in the tale of an ant and his sword.
She mixes words into cookie dough
until she's got it, well...just so.
Then, for her next funny feature,
we can enjoy another creature.
Her characters made me laugh
so hard I almost split in half.
I hope she makes up some other guys,
specializing in the smaller size.
From Washington to the Kremlin,
they're talkin' 'bout her tooth gremlin.
If all these cute guys aren't enough,
She writes about serious stuff.
You'll hear of Mother Nature's wrath,
and unsafe landmines in your path,
When you think, "it can't get better", bud,
There's Mr. Potato. Call him Spud.
John Dryden of poeting did espire
specializing in rimed satire
Still life Ream C P
specializing in fruit did he
Expressing interest oh so young
his art still remains. unsung
News is everywhere
I read about a new type of grass growing in Svalbard
making the reindeer happy and fat, not that this is big news
for the polar bear that struggles to learn to live without
ice, to hunt dogs and cats, lose the shiny white fur for
a grimy pelt, smelling of garbage cans.
The howling wolves of the mystic are no more since a way have
been found making (lobotomizing) them into friendly but
silly cubs who want to play with the caribou, who by lapse
has not been told; the good is vet surgeons specializing
in brains are urgently needed.
The good news is the woke brigade will move offensive
paintings of ugly white people smoking cigars, representing
“The man” was replaced with nice Disney pictures of pretty
animals with cute innocent eyes while somewhere out there
the Tasmanian tiger howls in the long night.
i am dizzy right now and i am unable to be able
i simply refuse to reestablish my common sense
i choose stubbornness and it has now caused me mad pain
maybe i will grab my sweety's throw blanket and sleep in front of the chiropractor's door
i am lightheaded right now and i am unable to be able
i create stanzas of excuses moonlighting as poems
i am an unfinished basements salesman specializing in repetitive wolf tickets
maybe i will grab my starlight's forest green furry bathrobe and sleep in front of the orthopedic doctor's door
i am confused right now and i am unable to be able
i am a right handed pitcher of habitual lies in a dry desert
i am a left handed denialologist with only disorted images on the obvious picture
maybe i will borrow my lady's always warm brain and go to the wall of her primary doctor and knock some sense into myself until opening hours
My one true love was Simon,
Simple, they called him,
But one day he went to the faire
And met Norah Pieman.
Oh, that girl was clever
She enticed Simon with her wares
And stole him plum away from me.
Now they live above the bakery,
Specializing in pies of every kind,
With bread and biscuits, too.
How great God* is, granting me salvation eternal
Omnipotent while specializing in impossibilities
Loving, offering forgiveness with peace and joy
Yes, always upholding me by His gracious might.
Father so compassionate is He to me indeed
Assuring me constantly His sweet presence
Instructing through His Scriptures to do right
Teaching and warning against wrong choices
Helping me to be victorious through His power.
Almighty Lord, Saviour, and Friend is He to me
Goodness and gladness He showers bountifully
Unfailing is His mercy, steadfast is His faithfulness
Strengthening my faith and restoring my soul
Thankful, I’ll keep trusting Him with all my heart
I abide in His will, worshipping Him joyously
Now and forever, I’m nourished in His care.
*Psalm 95:3 For the LORD is a great God, and a great King above all gods.
Dear Holy Faith,
A blessed birthday to you.
June 11, 2020
Born in Hamler Ohio
Child of Louis F Davis Sr
Lived in Portland and Savannah Ohio
Study at the University of Michigan
Specializing in the bassoon a percussion
Overcame fusing
Modern popular and classical techniques in music
Worked as an advertising jingle songwriter
Challenge by the toning down of his music
Started his own record label personal traits Davis founded Mannheim Steamroller in Omaha Nebraska
Always written suburb instrumentals and verses
Never gave up best known for his revolutionising
The Sound of traditional Christmas music
Fresh Aire
11/26/19
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr 2019
First Degree
Then Position
Followed by a split/decision
English teacher, bent on fiction
And proponent of proper diction
Second Degree
Master in Education
No time for any vacation
Exemplary professor of nation
Specializing in sentence formation
Third Degree
Doctor of Fine Arts
Emphasizing music’s charms
Especially Bach and Brahms
Lullaby, sonatas and songs
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People often say now I understand
When they hear that I'm from Paree
Not Gay Paree silly, but redneck
In the heart of Tennessee
I am the newest style of hairdressers
Here to lay out all the facts
I no longer work on the tops of heads
But straight out of the pits
It all happened when I got bored
With the every day to day
Trimming of the head left me feeling dead
That's when it hit me..."Underarm Braid"
That right there was my life saver
That right there was my turn around
If it didn't make me world famous
At least it did on this side of town
Now people come from as far as Nashville
To have their underarms done
I even gave a left and right pit Mohawk
To the Governor's daughter and son
What? Did you think I only braided?
There's so much more that I can do
Just ask the Punk Rock Chick's that wait in line
To have their armpits colored blue
My older clientele have let there hair grow out
Since it is they learned
I'm now specializing in for both women and men
Their favorite sets and perms
So feel the freedom of the pits
That hippie chicks have long since known
Here at Michael's Salon Of Pits
We'll do something special with that growth
Good Old Government
After high school all of us graduated
And then for college we had waited
Wondering what we would major in
Or should we go back to school again.
Some had no money and were very poor
Enlisted in Army, Air Force or Marine Corps
Others did not have enough money yet
But to go they still had their mind set.
Finished first year and some flunked out
What to major in were still in doubt
By beginning of third year made up mind
Now for a four college they had to find.
What students finally started realizing
Was that Universities were specializing
In a certain area to meet their expertise
Inflation had caused prices to increase.
Goal to graduate from college could not fulfil
Joined military and ended up with GI Bill
After time is service they had now spent
Employer of last resort was good old government.
James Serious Mysterious Horn
Retired Veteran, Poet
and a College Graduate
A blessed soil which perspires cashews and coughs out black pepper,
its global banner of rice is raised so high
which is only beaten by one.
Specializing in the juices of the commonest limbless reptile
with cuisines highly recommended by the parliaments of health.
From dragons to birds;
the turtle to the horse;
the minds of its people have well been bonded to these,
making historians marvel at which exactly
helped in denting the American military pride.
She pleaded with me to meet her here;
knowing that I could never decline.
But now, it's past midnight and raining;
although she swore she'd be here by nine.
Trying to understand her is like
trying to light a damp cigarette.
For the more anxious I am to try;
the more frustrating my attempts get.
Her excuses are nonsensical;
she's silly and possibly insane.
And I've stopped trying to outguess her,
for she deals in both pleasure and pain.
She is a genuine conundrum,
specializing in leaving me vexed.
And in the end, I have little choice;
but to walk away feeling perplexed.
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