Darkness You Fear
An Original by IzaDonna
I look at you and I see myself
Hatred bubbling between us
Can't change the past or stop the pain
Just want to be whole again
Sex and drugs are what consumes you
You slip away into the haze of the past
And I can't keep waiting
To see how long this lasts
Chorus
So I scream into the night
The fire burns within me
I have to find a release from you
Cause if I don't I'll fall into blackness
Tears stream down my face
As I hold back my dying rage
You were once in a lifetime
You laugh and smirk its all a big joke
The ultimatum is what you have come to wrote
The knife in my heart is getting deeper
And it burns with eternal flame
If I don't get away, this pain will never stop
You are the one to f**king blame
Chorus
So I stop all the fighting
I let myself fall into darkness
The voices in my head stops
I'm in need of an intervenltion from you
All I see is a dark cold world
The pain I feel is slowly releasing
And I become the darkness you fear
Chorus X2
Fall into Forever
Jaded winter thaws my mind
Like a cold november morning
Watch my soul catch fire in the wind
What still lingers in the pale moonlight
Is not worth the pain
As we fall into forever
Winter rain washes away
My mistakes my woes and pain
A million miles away
As we fall into forever
Drink, pills and thoughts of you cascade
Terrified and ashamed
Shattered glass and broken frames
Crimson oceans flood my dreams
Drowining me
Into surender
(fall into forever)
Sweet release
Now I stand alone in the pale moonlight
I feel your pain
As i fall into forever
Then I feel your tears
As they fall on me
(drowning )
As I fall into forever
Sweet Dreams
Forever
EVERY WONDER OF THE WIDE WORLD
Darling friend, pain will end
Go to sleep my lively lady
When you wake you shall have
Every wonder of the wide world
Sweet rose day
Worlds away
Every lover that you treasured
Books and words
Dreams and birds
Every thought that can be measured
Darling friend, pain will end
Go to sleep my lively lady
When you wake you shall have
Every wonder of the wide world
(repeat all verses until beloved conks out!)
Melody: All the pretty little horses
(my favorite childhood song, sung to my children as well)
Verse 1:
I truly want you to hear me
you're busy with cement's precast
I stay in limbo twisting in the pre
in intransit mixers turning fast
Must it all be preparation?
Coach when can I play in the game?
waiting kills dream's consecration
and Im losing interest in the aim
Chorus:
So self abuse increases again
cant get passed the pain of the rush
no whys misinterprets the when
making error to blame for it's crush
Verse 2:
I push all my chips to the middle
I lose myself in hope as you deal
what to do the unanswered riddle
guessing ingrediants smelling the meal
Oh the torture of what little I know
its the strings of my guitars
I pick the tunes of suffering's flow
I sing night's dark seen by the stars
Chorus:
So self abuse increases again
can't get passed the pain of the rush
no why's misinterprets the when
making error to blame for it's crush
Reprise:
Your silence tells me not to do this
can't let go of what I could miss
torture through desire for bliss
brought to disease led by the kiss
I learned Im small, less than a pawn
my heart dies and they just yawn
while its only a draft drawn
its dusk brought by the dawn
I look into your eyes
And your eyes meet mine
For one moment
I could see the pain inside
And I know it’s enough
To die inside
And you ask why
I was never there for you
Why I never told you
What it means
To know the truth
Now you’re being dragged to hell
Lookin in your soul
I know what it means
To truly know pain inside
I never knew how you felt
And just how far you fell
And you ask why
I was never there for you
Why I never told you
What it means
To know the truth
Now you’re being dragged to hell
Why the hell was I too ashamed
To show you what life means
I was so blessed
And you felt cursed
And now I’m the one
Who left you to the side
And you ask why
I was never there for you
Why I never told you
What it means
To know the truth
Now you’re being dragged to hell
I'm no poet
I just write what I feel
There is no way you can say my name
for it to be in the hall of fame
everything I write is real.
Whatever I say
You can believe
forget what you heard
I am the only me.
I'm not a movie star or model
i'm just like you
with my own unique style
and people hate me because
they want to walk in my shoes
but what are my shoes to walk in
other than a life of misery and blues.
I don't write to impress
I write to release
the pain and ill emotion
that has grown inside of me.
Its been their so long
I could almost write a song
called "The Pain won't fade away".
I'm just like you
with no perfect life
try my best to keep smiling
such as writing at night
like when I wrote this.
Ideas flowed in and out of my mind not knowing where they came from
never thought of myself as a writer
Actually never liked writing or rhythm
never saw the point.
I'm no poet
I just write what I feel
There's no way you can say my name
for it to be in the hall of fame
I can't help how you see me
I'm just being me...
Just me.
You said you love us
And would never hurt us
But then you let him walk into our lifes
Even with everything you know
You wouldn't say no and just walk away
You finally stood your ground
Said never and left him for all he's worth
I hope you never know
All the things that go through this head
I hope you never know
All the pain that i felt
I hope you never know
All the nights that i lied awake in bed
I hope you never know
All the tears that shot down my face
I hope you never know
All the pain
All the pain you invited in
Just by letting him walk in
All the sorrows you carried in
The ones with no end
All the sleepless nights that would begin
All the tears that have no trace
All the fears I face inside
And all the nightmares that came to be
And all this
Just by letting him in
I am no more obliged then yesterdays wealth
Curiously massaged in all we have left
I could let you down
But your smile would only frown
I could promise to change, my angel
But I’d only be your closest stranger
There’s always a raindrop in your eyes
I laugh when the pain stops, as you cry
Cause there’s always rain drops in your eyes
I am no more saved
Then my previous goodbye wave
Your tears sizzle as I burn
Your loneliness tickles for I won’t learn
There’s always raindrops in your eyes
I laugh when the pain stops, as you cry
There’s always raindrops in your eyes
Disgusting, my guilt is filth
And still you touch me
Mistrusting my filth for guilt
Yet still you touch me
What should I do?
These things I cannot get through
It's like I'm suffering from pain and absolute hate
This isn't my life, or is this supposed to be my fate?
Confusion, and misunderstanding
More and more pain you're handling
And then who am I supposed to be?
With the pain you keep giving to me?
I've been walked on all my life for two years and now
I put up with these things, and everyone's like, HOW?
They don't care, like always it's the same and I hate it
No one knows how to listen when some one says quit
I've had enough where I'm about to break!
Cause everyone in my life is an all-show-fake!
Hiding
There’s another part of me
That feels the insecurities
I try not to show it
I try not to blow it
I try so hard now
The best way that I know how
I try not to know it
I try not to show it
I’m hiding the real me
And I don’t want you to see
That I’m hiding all the pain inside
But I no longer want to cry
I’m pretending to be
Someone who isn’t me
I’m hiding
Yeah, I’m hiding
I don’t want you to see
What’s really inside of me
I try not to tell you
I know I don’t have to
Did I give it away
Was it something I wanted to say
Do you know what I’m thinking
I feel like I’m sinking
I’m hiding the real me
And I don’t want you to see
That I’m hiding all the pain inside
But I no longer want cry
I’m pretending to be
Someone who isn’t me
I’m hiding
Oh, I’m hiding
When you look into my eyes
You’re seeing someone filled with lies
When you look at me
That may be all you see
I’m hiding the real me
And I don’t want you to see
That I’m hiding all the pain inside
But I no longer want to cry
I’m pretending to be
Someone who isn’t me
I’m hiding
Yeah I’m hiding
I have been hiding
Waiting and deciding on my next move
Without lying I’ll tell you
I have been crying
And dying a little on the inside too
Oh what to do, nothing but think about you
Always colliding soon the pain may begin subsiding
When I’m finished hiding
And disguising the demons of my past and new
Can only hope this will not last
Faster falling, always calling
Upon you, God please give a clue
What should I pursue
Oh what to do, now just one of the few
Now never ending always bending
Sending a cry out, hope impending
Of fending off these demons of new
Oh what to do, without you
Now diminished, hopes are finished
Without out lying I’ll tell you
I have been crying
And dying a little on the inside too
Oh what to do
When you realize you’re not just the few
You’re just you
I won’t be hiding this pain un-subsiding
Just because its felt by only the few
Even if that means only me and you
Frustration is killing my senses
My mind is filled with bruises
Laughters fill the air
But tears roll down here
Here I am dreaming
There you are screaming
Do you know what's on my mind?
You must have been so blund
If tears could talk
You will hear words youy've never knowb before
You will see the pain buried in my heart
I'll let the tears flow bit by bit
Let the tears make you fell
As the time stand still
When tears talk, you don't have to speak a bit
Cause I won't hear a thing
Loving you was a big mistake
The true love we had was fake
The journey that I'm about to face
Don't care if I win the race
My mind's made up togive up the fight
Even if I won't see the light
This journey is not that long
I won't let the pain keep me in silence
Let the tears speak
For the love I never seek
If tears could speak
You'll see I'm weak
But I know I have never been
A loser as you have seen
The pain inside cuts me like a razor
As the pain grows, the deeper the razor goes
You feel like you're going insane
You want to stop but there is still the pain
And inside your heart that razor remains
Till the day you figure out why
That pain inside cuts you inside
As I look at the sky
my eyes fill with tears
wishin' you were here with me
I feel alone
and oh-so valunerable
I feel the pain building up inside
Come back!!!!!
Baby i need you
Baby, come back
i can't live without you
As the blade comes in contact
i barely feel the pain
my eyes are watery
but baby this is nothing
compared to what you did
i need you hear beside me
Come back!!!!!
I need you!!!!
Baby don't leave me alone...
please come back before i'm gone
I may seem obsessive
but i'm not
I just naive and in love
So pleeeeeeease come back to me!!!!!!
Don't leave me here in the darkness on my own
Come back....
do you not realize,
this is pain is too much for me,
i'm alone and afraid
this child isn't mine alone
you did help, so pleeeeeeease come back.......
So.....
Pleeeeeease,
Pleeeeeease,
Pleeeeeease,
Come back
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