Why can't I stay dry ? I ask my power on high . Why can't I stay dry ? No rainbows in my sky . Why can't I stay dry ? I don't want to go high . Why can't I stay dry ? No matter how hard I try . Why can't I stay dry ? I just want to die . Why can't I stay dry ?
Coffee is a reasonable substitute
for spirit possession.
Surely your heart will tremble,
open the gateway
for earthquakes to exist
within the fault lines
of your fingers —
but at least your pants will be piss free
when the officer asks you
to dance along the straight line.
And when he asks, “are you nervous?”
you’ll respond in the affirmative.
Explain how since 1996
you’ve been waiting for the day
an asteroid directly impacts your car
as you sip espresso
heading southbound on the I-10,
on your way to work.
And you won’t have to explain to your coworker
why your pants are missing,
ass in the air,
bad decisions spilled
on the fresh mopped floor —
dreading the ride in,
knowing he knows
you’d never compete
with his fresh ironed shirt.
This morning I chose slow drip,
because life moves fast enough.
I have written 100 poems since my sobriety and I hope my poetic share is helpful ...
I'm not drunk
Wasting my days away
I'm not drunk
Serenity has shown today
I'm not drunk
Supporting my daughter
I'm not drunk
Her gratitude for all I have taught her
I'm not drunk
I love being sober
I'm not drunk
I remember the days
No more blackouts
No more life haze
I'm not drunk
It's great to be me
I'm not drunk
6 years of sobriety
I'm not drunk
I go to meetings
I'm not drunk
I share my truth my feelings
Welcome to AA
I hope this poem
Finds you
Just For Today
Checked by www.howmanysyllables.com>syllable_counter
****************************************************************
After Pink Clouds
The pink clouds soon fade away,
Soberness I now regain,
Soul`s pains I do feel again,
Still I slip straight on the bed;
With dawn, I rise with some stress,
But life follows on its course
As rivers flow to the sea.
Building castles within my own confinement
only to be hit with the harshest of realities
& replaying what it means to be broken, to heal, and relapse
over and over again.
Numbing the weight of so many life choices
Drowning out screams from all different voices.
Lord please me show me your grace.
Seeing myself in the mirror
I'd rather not show my face.
My self esteem crumbled
Self-worth turned to dust
I'm suffering due to a lack of self love
And unwillingness to trust
Feeling as if my body left me unhealed
without my soul intact
Praying I could right the wrongs
that haunt me from my past
afraid of what appears impossible
A daunting peak.. still within my grasp
Have to take that leap of faith
to start me on the path
Dear Lord I pray you break these chains that refuse to set me free
bound from years and years of pain.
Most of which have remained unseen
Let me feel your light my Lord
The warmth shine on my face
I need to feel your selfless love
I need your warm embrace.
The thought of this battle
it heightens all senses of "fight or flight"
I'm writing this in hopes to from now until forever
Guide me into your light.
Feeling so alone in a crowded room
Missing your friends while finally seeing who your true friends are
Wanting to get out and go have fun
But realizing your old ideas of fun only ever landed you in trouble
Starting to see what everyone else was seeing all along
Ashamed of who you were before
Knowing you never would have gotten where you are now without being that person
Conflicted by your own thoughts and emotions
Feelings start rushing back that you had blocked out
Your heart starts pounding as if it will burst out of your chest
Unsure of how to survive your new journey through sobriety
Keeping your inner circle small
Reaching out to everyone on your list
Expressing your anxiety
Explaining every little trigger
Praying they will understand
They tell you to breath it’s ok to not be ok
Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam,
Adam.
I do not feel any way about you with poetry --
other than it is my experience with you that
You do not read much of it
At least you do not talk about it.
If you are reading poetry that I send you
Or if you are reading poetry secretly –
(From poets I do not know about)
(If you are cheating on me with other poets~)
Or if you are writing any poetry –
Or if you dream poetry –
If you find yourself asleep with words above your head
As I do
And these words are the hope of your day, of all your days,
And if these words are the reason you are able to live
If these words are your soberness ~
Why do you not tell me what they are?
You’ve fallen in love with me. You told me.
You’re sober for the first time in your adult life.
What are the words to this?
What are your words?
You can whisper them to me, but there are too many.
There must be. I want you to write them.
I want to read them.
But you must read poetry, too.
celebrate the day
with loving christ a deliverance
one year sobriety
Sobriety
He stopped drinking and looked remarkable
well, his wife was happy, less so his friends who
didn't see him in the bar and when meeting him
in the street, his manner was awkward, almost
formal, a few words of greeting followed by
silence
He was promoted at work, wore a suit his shoes were polished, and he bought a new car
His wife was proud of the new man he had
become, so was the family on her side
One day, when he didn't come home in time
his wife was worried, and she went looking for
his whereabouts, she didn't have to look long
he hung in the garage.
His silence was a deep depression playing
a role he was not suited for
a middle-class man sitting in an office sifting
papers and stamping documents
He had liked drinking with his friends,
the booze made him dream, which he wrote
down in the morning
When he began a sober life, his wife threw
the pages he had written when in the mood
into the fire, he lost what he cherished
and he didn't dream anymore
Bottles and glasses, left to stand,
As time slips through like grains of sand.
Often adrift, in a half-conscious sea,
This life of escape, it isn't for me.
Emotions submerged, a silent tide,
Demons within, in darkness, they hide.
Endless battles, wear me thin,
Against this foe, I cannot win.
You've stripped away the friends I knew,
My soul you've scarred, no recompense due.
You dragged me under, a sinking trend,
No more pretense, this is the end.
I've fled from feelings, part of my plan,
But I'm choked by the depths, like the ocean's span.
Now the fog lifts, I finally see,
The person I'm meant, truly to be.
Today I stand, with resolve I say,
I'll turn from alcohol, come what may.
Its hold is broken, I'm no longer bound,
A new chapter starts, a new self found.
Drop a rock into a still pond,
and the ripples echo.
A large enough rock,
and a pond sized tsunami,
waves echoing beyond the edges.
Every step I take creates ripples.
Sometimes, a tsunami.
After all, I'm not screaming in outer space.
And the trillions of steps before mine
that gave me the ground I walk on,
need to be acknowledged by the care I take with every step.
The Retreat: Part 9
Coming Down The Hill
We were warned
That the high upon high
May not hold or be well-received
By the mere mortals below
Yet Cliff's Band of Merrymen
And bonus babes
March forth from Santa's workshops
To conquer, resettle
The islands of misfits
The planets of normies
Like vets returning from battle
The wars at home continue
Some nuclear
But mostly whack-a-mole
Requiring each sentinel
To cover each shift and flank
With desperate precision
Because PTSD
Pleading Towards Sobriety Daily
Isn't as glamorous as it sounds.
(3/26/17)
The Retreat: Part 3
Opening Bell
And you thought YOU had it bad
Cancer
Homelessness
Divorce
Estrangement
Family Death
Pet Death
Molestation
Rape
Depression
Sex Worker
Sex Client
Bad Taste
Bizarre Taste
You people are really ed up
Ok I am too
Let's un—-k ourselves silly
And begin.
(3/24/17)
The gambler
It fills my body with heat
From my head to the bottom of my feet
An urge so strong
I know its wrong.
But it takes control of me.
I can go in with my purse full
I leave with nothing but guilt
It eats me alive, knocks me ill
But that drive for more never leaves me.
Everything iv got i put in
Then sorrow eats me alive
when i dont win
Why do i do it to myself
It kills my mental health
Why can i not just quit?
I make myself worse with this sh*t
The colours are bright
Each spin lures you in
Your chasing a win
That never comes in
Its not worth the stress i put myself under
For the sake of a 5 second wonder
Because even if i win i put it back in
And im back to square one.
I never thought this would be me
I never knew this addictive part was inside me.
Now iv had enough
I know it will be tough but im done with it all
Im leaving it to flee to be gamble addiction free.
Written by
Blair bettley
have variety
in our own society
of sobriety
when we had a lapse
would cause buildings to collapse
creating mishaps
life residual
even if a general
have a funeral
seems to be uncouth
played piano which was so smooth
relax and will sooth
article we wrote
when you will stop in Shallotte
must be sure to vote
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