Building my castle to the kingdom

Building castles within my own confinement only to be hit with the harshest of realities & replaying what it means to be broken, to heal, and relapse over and over again. Numbing the weight of so many life choices Drowning out screams from all different voices. Lord please me show me your grace. Seeing myself in the mirror I'd rather not show my face. My self esteem crumbled Self-worth turned to dust I'm suffering due to a lack of self love And unwillingness to trust Feeling as if my body left me unhealed without my soul intact Praying I could right the wrongs that haunt me from my past afraid of what appears impossible A daunting peak.. still within my grasp Have to take that leap of faith to start me on the path Dear Lord I pray you break these chains that refuse to set me free bound from years and years of pain. Most of which have remained unseen Let me feel your light my Lord The warmth shine on my face I need to feel your selfless love I need your warm embrace. The thought of this battle it heightens all senses of "fight or flight" I'm writing this in hopes to from now until forever Guide me into your light.