Upon Lasagna,
All splattered with sauce,
I lost my poor meat ball,
When somebody sneezed.
It rolled off the table,
And on to the floor,
And then my poor meat ball,
Rolled out of the door.
It rolled in the garden,
And under a bush,
And then my poor meat ball,
Was covered in leaves
The leaves were surrounded
By slugs
And then the next summer,
It grew into a tree.
The tree was all covered,
All covered with moss,
And on it grew meat balls,
And tomato sauce.
So, if you eat lasagna
All splattered with sauce,
Hold on to your meat ball,
Whenever you sneeze.
My left sock filed taxes on a Tuesday frog,
while a cabbage sang opera to a confused log.
The moon ate a stapler with mustard delight,
then borrowed a canoe from the darkness of light.
I purchased a banana for seventeen clouds,
but the receipt was allergic to yodeling crowds.
A rhinoceros teacup performed ballet cheese,
and a watermelon sneezed in seven languages.
My toaster proposed to a decorative brick,
their wedding was speedy, suspiciously quick.
The minister hamster wore cinnamon pants,
while unicycling ferrets performed tribal dances.
At midnight a turnip became Vice President,
its policies largely were soup-oriented.
It promised free waffles for every raccoon,
and declared every Thursday a ceremonial spoon.
The end is approaching, or maybe a chair.
A penguin just shampooed the national air.
I leave you this wisdom, profound as a sock:
If potatoes can whisper,
then gravy can rock.
Fin.
Or asparagus.
At the grand old Springtime Mingle Fest,
Folks arrived all groomed and dressed their best.
One wore stripes with dots,
One brought fifteen pots,
And one came in pajamas for “comfort and rest.”
A banker discussed gourmet cheese
With a pirate who sneezed in the breeze.
A poet nearby
Recited to pie,
While bees chased a man through the trees.
A lady named Myrtle from Maine
Danced wildly like runaway rain.
She twirled with a mop,
Knocked over the punch pot,
Then blamed it entirely on Spain.
A shy little fellow named Clyde
Tried mingling but mostly just sighed.
He smiled at a chair,
Spilled soup in his hair,
Then proudly announced, “Socialized!”
Two cats crashed the gathering hall,
Ignoring good manners and all.
They stole half the fish,
Licked every dish,
Then napped on the mayor’s best shawl.
The music grew louder at nine;
An uncle attempted to shine.
He moonwalked too hard,
Fell straight in the yard,
And rose saying, “Just part of the line!”
By midnight the minglers agreed
That chaos was all they would need.
For though things went wrong,
They laughed loud and long—
And friendship grew faster than weed.
Ever have a fart that you don’t trust
Because you have the bubble guts
I squeezed my cheeks
I sneezed it leaked
Depends not dependable enough
the robot sneezed
God bless said I
's not what you'd think,
altho' no saint nor sinner,
for, quick as a wink,
what occurred to her during dinner,
turned from a tiny tickle in the throat,
when his Daughter coughed and wheezed,
into a dribbling trickle from her nose,
then, 'Atishoo!', smilingly she teased,
“I really couldn't help myself,”
yet, seemingly feeling somewhat pleased,
but, with a helpful handy tissue,
the discomfort it was eased,
as, politely and penitently, she observed,
“Bless me, Father, for I have sneezed.”
Rudolph, the leader of Santa's reindeer,
adjusted his nose and gave the all clear
to steer Santa well with his braced flashlight.
But one Christmas Eve, he sneezed during flight!
The man in the elevator was a plump rounded one,
The buttons of his suit almost coming undone.
He chortled with his might when I walked in,
His askewed moustache fluttering like a bee.
Whipping out a comb he brushed his hair barely made,
His oiled strands of four plastering on his head.
Next came the perfume which he sprayed with gusto,
While I sneezed and choked right in tow.
Pulling the belt barely up his tummy,
He cleared his throat quite like a dummy.
Off I ran into the closing doors with a slam,
Before his paunch held them back - followed by an "At your service ma'am!".
Thought I'd razzle and see where it goes.
"Should I dazzle my Bros with my Prose?
"NO INTERRUPTIONS PLEASE!"
Then I abruptly sneezed...
And ALL the words got stuck in my NOSE!
chill breeze
Ron sneezed
deep freeze
he wheezed
stung knees
cried, please ...
death’s tease
~ disease
I sensed something spectacular was going to happen
So, I stayed in place, secure behind a fallen oak
The forest did not share secrets with unhidden humans
Feeling anticipatory winds from the west, I remained silent
The fey would not come out and play if they heard me.
Within a few minutes a faerie shower began
Faeries of all shapes and sizes rained in the middle of the clearing
A startled deer bound off, showing her white tail
I had no idea they could jump that high from a standing position
Faeries have a weird tittering laugh, it tinkles like dainty chimes
Hundreds of them landed on toadstools, mushrooms, and ferns.
I sneezed and they were gone in an instant.
Suddenly and without warning, she sneezed.
Liquid sped from her nose onto the canvas.
She stood petrified. What had she done?
Spots appeared over a lone oak tree
On the side of a lonely road that led to the mountain.
Despair shook her whole body, and she flopped
Onto a comfy sofa, wishing she were dead.
Then she looked at the painting and wondered
Some spots remained above the tree.
It was as if a flock of birds were flying around.
She sighed. Perhaps all was not lost.
She sneezed again, but now she had a Kleenex.
Nose
Once a year my
long ears and long snout, exhausting to
tolerate, disconcerting, are lined with
mother-of-pearl.
I can convert my
long nostrils into
wafer.
I reprimand painfully my
very plain features.
Adorable, lovable, they aren’t so
that must mean
I aren’t!
I can with my
big nostrils squeaks cause
very hard circumstances to
the possums, and the one or
two bats who think
my attic is
their home.
I sneezed the other day and from
my left nostril ejected a
neon-blue statement made under oath about
the misuse of
placenta and foetal membranes.
Reflect on moments when God in us sneezed ~
Are raindrops controlled when they are released
When I woke up this morning
I was not in my bed.
I found myself instead
Inside Franz Kafka's head.
He started Metamorphosis,
I thought, 'What is this?'"
There was no panic
I just sat back and watched
A master at his craft
Until my plan was botched.
He noticed me
Inside his head
As he finished up.
He sneezed me out as
I rolled down his pen and
His niece sure picked me up.
We've lived together, happily,
Me and Kafka's niece,
Ever since that one weird day
I shot out of Kafka's sneeze.
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