Sneezed Poems

Prose Before Bros

Thought I'd razzle and see where it goes.

"Should I dazzle my Bros with my Prose?

"NO INTERRUPTIONS PLEASE!"

Then I abruptly sneezed...

And ALL the words got stuck in my NOSE!

Chill Breeze

    chill breeze
       Ron sneezed

     deep freeze
       he wheezed

     stung knees
       cried, please ...

     death’s tease
        ~ disease

the sneeze

I sensed something spectacular was going to happen
So, I stayed in place, secure behind a fallen oak
The forest did not share secrets with unhidden humans

Feeling anticipatory winds from the west, I remained silent
The fey would not come out and play if they heard me.
Within a few minutes a faerie shower began

Faeries of all shapes and sizes rained in the middle of the clearing
A startled deer bound off, showing her white tail
I had no idea they could jump that high from a standing position

Faeries have a weird tittering laugh, it tinkles like dainty chimes
Hundreds of them landed on toadstools, mushrooms, and ferns.
I sneezed and they were gone in an instant.

The Irritable Chest Cold - Part Two of Two

Suddenly and without warning, she sneezed.
Liquid sped from her nose onto the canvas.
She stood petrified.  What had she done?
Spots appeared over a lone oak tree 
On the side of a lonely road that led to the mountain.
Despair shook her whole body, and she flopped
Onto a comfy sofa, wishing she were dead.

Then she looked at the painting and wondered
Some spots remained above the tree.
It was as if a flock of birds were flying around.
She sighed.  Perhaps all was not lost. 
She sneezed again, but now she had a Kleenex.

Nose

Nose

Once a year my 
long ears and long snout, exhausting to 
tolerate, disconcerting, are lined with 
mother-of-pearl. 
I can convert my 
long nostrils into 
wafer. 
I reprimand painfully my 
very plain features. 
Adorable, lovable, they aren’t so
that must mean 
I aren’t!
I can with my 
big nostrils squeaks cause 
very hard circumstances to 
the possums, and the one or 
two bats who think 
my attic is 
their home.
I sneezed the other day and from 
my left nostril ejected a
neon-blue statement made under oath about 
the misuse of 
placenta and foetal membranes.

Thought of the day

Reflect on moments when God in us sneezed ~
Are raindrops controlled when they are released

Me and Kafka's Niece

When I woke up this morning 
I was not in my bed.
I found myself instead
Inside Franz Kafka's head.

He started Metamorphosis,
I thought, 'What is this?'"

There was no panic
I just sat back and watched
A master at his craft
Until my plan was botched.

He noticed me 
Inside his head
As he finished up.

He sneezed me out as
I rolled down his pen and
His niece sure picked me up.

We've lived together, happily,
Me and Kafka's niece,
Ever since that one weird day
I shot out of Kafka's sneeze.

a day in the life of a nobody

A day in the life of?
I woke up to a wonderful summer morning 
my dog has taken it upon herself to protect 
I came for a hug and a bit of the cake, and she
knew I had in the fridge
After breakfast, a banana and a tiny bit of
the cake the dog likes, diabetes is a stern 
taskmaster
I tried to write until lunch, but
the dog wanted to walk in the woods, who
I'm to deny her this pleasure of chasing 
rabbits into the thicket
I had a late lunch at a nearby café followed 
with red wine and the wish I could smoke 
again, but that was not on the card.
I  sneezed, a haiku appeared:
Poems and flowers 
It looks nice, but are
quite useless... 
I couldn't find the ending, settled, the bill
drove home to my dog, she was glad to see me

Another Nonsensical Tale

"Balls!" said the umpires
"Strike!" yelled the pins
"Take that!" cried the little girl
who kicked both my shins

And when the green penguin 
started dancing a jig
I realized it was high time
to buy a new wig

So I hopped on my pogo stick
and headed to town
Took me two weeks to get there
bouncing up and down
 
But the town was abandoned 
Oh no, not again!
And that's when I spotted
a large rabid hen
 
It was foaming at the beak
when it then spotted me
so I bounded and hopped
up the side of a tree

Then the tree said "gesundheit"
though no one had sneezed
and the squirrel with his nuts
seemed mightily pleased

Saw a midget run by
looking like Ben Gazzara
and over his shoulder
was Maureen O'Hara
 
Then I sprang from the tree
and pogo'd back home 
where I wasn't quite sure
how to wrap up this poem

So I stole a line here 
and borrowed a line there
nobody will read it
'cause nobody cares

And that ends the story
you can sigh in relief
Every bit of it's true
if you suspend disbelief

© Mike Wise 
7-5-24

three faeries bring joy to the meadow

three faeries with beautifully veined transparent wings arrived at midnight
Not unlike Pan who had been there before, they brought happiness light.
Their mission was to add some levity and joy to the current night life
I sneaked up on them in silence, feeling more voyeur than young wife.

Silent in the deep weeds, I watched the three faeries frolic and play in fun.
If I made a loud song, they would be gone way before the returning sun.
At three a.m. I sneezed, and the entire faerie brigade stood perfectly still.
“Come on out!” one demanded, staring at the neighboring hill.

Out came a dragon, a buzzard, two raccoons, a squirrel, a frog and a fish.
The fish was in a bowl, being carried by the raccoons, as if a delicate dish.
We will teach you some dance moves, the faerie queen said, “okay?”
More was going on, but a the sandman in a dream whisked me away.

I know what I saw, I am not wrong about that.
I still see these three faeries, at the drop of a hat.
Sometimes I sneak out at midnight to try to glimpse them again.
So far, I have come up empty, but some day, it will be a win.

A Double Whammy

Timmy developed bad hay-fever
He saw the doctor for some tabs
No medication seem to work for him
He tried everything the pharmacy had

Another problem soon arose 
For all and sundry to see
Each time Timmy sneezed 
He would get a woody

His hay-fever now out of control 
Sneezing constantly
His woody was up and down
Getting weary as can be

His woody stood to attention 
In the most embarrassing places
The town folk were disgusted
Disapproval on their faces

The doctor rang Timmy to say,
Please come and see me
We have an amazing new medication
From your hay-ever you will be freed

A miraculous new antihistamine Timmy was prescribed
The outcome he could not believe
‘Miracles do happen’ Jimmy thought
No more hay-fever, no longer did he sneeze

The other issue was also resolved
Such a relief for dear Timmy
But now his willy was sound asleep
In a coma permanently!!

Thought of the day

the dance of life in slow motion
is for heart love’s magic potion
what does rise in time will subside
leaving a mark on soul inside
in delight embraced then released 
in renewal as rapture sneezed

light humor

There once was a fellow named Will,
Whose nose was exceedingly ill.
He sneezed with great force,
And altered his course,
he's orbiting Jupiter still!

There once was a lady named Sue, 
Who found a strange thing in her stew. 
She said with a grin, 
And pulled out a pin, 
"A stich in time, it is quite new!".

That Really Bites

He was jet skiing over a wake

But he only made one big mistake

He shouted out so pleased

Then he suddenly sneezed

And blew both his false teeth in the lake

HUMOR LAUGH SO HARD I CRIED AND PEED

Humor laugh so hard I cry-aloud
Sored, that I sneezed involuntary expulsion of urine, I peed 
just like an toddler child

2/13/24
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. 2024©

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