Short Sneezed Poems

I sneezed
And wet my pants
I am old!...

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The majestic oak,    
Resting in its leafy shade-
Photosynthesis....

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Valleys...Mountains...Bwaaa!
    Poles...Equator...Oceans...   
   Germs Gotcha? ---Ah-Choo!...

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Dragon
With virus
He sneezed and sneezed
So hard one day; burned up
A wall!
...

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"AHHH CHOO"

Nasal passages
Nose is running away from...
Me "AHHH CHOO" I sneezed

11/21/17
BY JAMES EDWARD LEE SR....

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Listen to the wind
As it ruffles through the trees.
God is blowing his breath.
When the storms come,
Could it be He sneezed?...

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They
ar
not to
be sneezed at-
in traditional verse
Minday,dalily through Saturday
danger/stranger;letter/better;sorrow/tomorrow....

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Percy was born with a snout
Nostrils that did not stick out
When Percy sneezed
It caused such a breeze
It blew everything inside out...

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Francesco was on his trapeze
Precariously swaying in the breeze
Suddenly he lost his grip
Off that trapeze, he did slip
Because he sneezed...

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There once was a man named O'Dean
Who wasn't too bright or too keen
He sneezed at the bar
Filling everyone's jar
And, that's why our beer is now green...

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My grandmother lost her glass eye
She sneezed when she breathed in a fly
As her eyeball flew by
She exclaimed my oh my
My glass eye has learned how to fly...

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There once was an elephant's trunk
That accidentally encountered a skunk
He sneezed 40 times
Til he rang his own chimes
Then cried cause he knew how he stunk...

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He was jet skiing over a wake

But he only made one big mistake

He shouted out so pleased

Then he suddenly sneezed

And blew both his false teeth in the lake...

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There once was an athletic kangaroo
Who came down with a bad case of the flu --
   He sneezed really loud
   Jumped over a cloud -- 
Landed with a red cape and an achoo...

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A young, macho spider named Paul
Imagined himself ten feet tall.
At friend's warnings he sneezed--
Said he'd crawl where he pleased.
Now Paul's just a stain on the wall....

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Donald Trump was out on a date
When he coughed and sneezed out his plate
His date had quick wits
And smiled, "Hey!  It fits!
Y'all gnaw thas jes godda be fate!" ...

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Humor laugh so hard I cry-aloud
Sored, that I sneezed involuntary expulsion of urine, I peed 
just like an toddler child

2/13/24
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. 2024©
...

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It was at grandads old farm one winter we did freeze 
the snow was so high it reached up to our knees 
even the cows went pale 
as the milk froze in a pail 
the chickens laid eggs standing up, then they sneezed.  



Feb 19, 2022...

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She spots a sniffling hottie by her gate 
They learn their flight will be three hours late
After a few rounds at the pub
They board and join the Mile High Club
Then the poor dame sneezed for a whole week straight 


*For Gwen's contest :)...

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I watched as she dusted and sneezed;
'It's worthless, I'm certain,' she wheezed.
I thought I'd be rich -
oh, life is a b.tch!
(My desk got a clean, so I'm pleased...)

written 26th April for Joseph's contest - about Anita Manning from The Antique Roadshow...

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The world sneezed,
the demon danced
—the music stopped in time

The world coughed,
the demon choked
—millions now entwined

The world hid,
the demon searched
—new victims running low

The world rose,
the demon dead
—nowhere left to go

(Dreamsleep: March, 2020)...

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Rudolph lost his red nose one day
         Sneezed so hard, it flew far away
                    It landed on a pig
                Who tried to fly, not dig
    “When pigs fly”, he heard someone say


Heidi Sands

12/14/18

Placed 4th in Funny Reindeer Limerick Contest....

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I was at the local Wal-mart

Where someone sneezed, along with a fart.

At first I was stunned.

Then, I started to run,

and stumbled over my cart.


I knew the germs were in the air,

and that I was getting my fair share.

So, I accepted my fate,

to sit grimly and wait,

armed with chicken soup and a prayer....

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A well spoken Martian came calling last week
He popped in the house for a chat
Though I wasn’t displeased 
When he coughed and he sneezed
I was miffed when he swallowed my cat
He said “ I am frightfully sorry, 
It isn’t like me to do that
You must think me a hog
For I much prefer dog
Or a rodent like rabbit or rat”...

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There once was a fellow named Will,
Whose nose was exceedingly ill.
He sneezed with great force,
And altered his course,
he's orbiting Jupiter still!

There once was a lady named Sue, 
Who found a strange thing in her stew. 
She said with a grin, 
And pulled out a pin, 
"A stich in time, it is quite new!". 

 
...

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