It starts off as a tingle
A fizzy tickle in your nose
Gets up behind your eyeballs
And makes you scrunch your toes
It’s bright light that does it
That sharp, crispy kind of sun
That makes your arm hair stand on end
And your nose begin to run
Whether the weather is hot and toasty
Or cold enough to freeze
Or dry and mild; or wet and wild
The sunshine makes me sneeze
Three girls who drank from grey troughs
cried hard and rasped with loud coughs.
Cold cops raced to swoop
The girls took a poop
On top of their heads with scoffs.
It's just a simple achoo
Not like I gave you the flu
Yes I know COVID was a thing
Not saying it ain't
But no reason for all the death stares
For just a tickly nose hair
The reason the old man was sneezin'
Was not just the pollen of season.
He wrote with a quill,
O, yes, he did still,
Which ever his nostrils was teasin'.
Athar, Javadhu, colognes of delight,
Brut in a bottle, glass catching light.
Fragrances gather, they fill up the air,
A new look is given to all who wear.
Shapes and sizes, so dainty, so tall,
Perfume parades, I admire them all.
Lovely sprays, tiny pots on display,
Mesmerise seekers who pass by their way.
From Parisian fashion to Gulf’s scented art,
Ancient secrets with herbs play their part.
A jar once closed holds a world inside,
A fragrant breeze with the wind will ride.
Yet when I open, a sneeze takes hold,
Nose in protest, blocked and bold.
All ends in rain of sneezes untold—
As I’m allergic to perfumes.
I heard a small sneeze from my closet
knew it was the gremlin who hides in there
he is usually more cautious, silent but deadly
another sneeze; he must be sick
I got out my Vicks and my Therma flu
grabbed him by the ears and dragged him out
he was horrified, thinking he had been a secret
think again buddy, I was a mother once
he was kicking, biting and scratching me
I barely felt it, due to his small size and tiny teeth
cut it out, I told him I am trying to save your life
he does not speak English, a whisper said
I looked up and saw yellow eyes
It was a vampire bat
Just another monster living in my closet
I did not even know about this one
I pushed the gremlin and Vicks back in and slammed the door
what about that Therma Flu asked the bat?
Crap. An intelligent vampire bat.
There really are monsters in my closet!
Roses are red, violets are vile
Lilies are ugly, daisies make me smile
Allergies are making me sneeze off my head
I hate to say this, but I want all flowers dead
I cannot bury them in my yard for they make me sick
If you send me a bouquet, I will be saying “ick!”
Flowers are pretty, if they do not make you sneeze
But my inhaler is not near, and they make me wheeze
I am trying my best to not throw this delivery guy out
But he just brought pollen in, and I really want to shout
Roses may be red, but I want them dead
Now my blasted spring allergies have clogged up my head
I sensed something spectacular was going to happen
So, I stayed in place, secure behind a fallen oak
The forest did not share secrets with unhidden humans
Feeling anticipatory winds from the west, I remained silent
The fey would not come out and play if they heard me.
Within a few minutes a faerie shower began
Faeries of all shapes and sizes rained in the middle of the clearing
A startled deer bound off, showing her white tail
I had no idea they could jump that high from a standing position
Faeries have a weird tittering laugh, it tinkles like dainty chimes
Hundreds of them landed on toadstools, mushrooms, and ferns.
I sneezed and they were gone in an instant.
I want you to stand in front of the tv
Vacuum when my favourite show is on
Wash the floor with the steamer
And me smile as if it’s fun
I want you to not hear what I am saying
And ask questions already resolved
As I shake my head and laugh
You say you need some new shoes
I want to hear you sneeze like a scream
And make me jump when my back’s turned
I’ll eat catleta with tomato soup
And remember all the bridges we’ve burned.
I want you to make me laugh and annoyed
Will you promise you’ll never leave me
I never want your sofa empty
And I love your feet under my nose
If you go I’m bound to follow you
It’ll be down to you if I take the last step
So, be sure to stay forever, please
I can’t live with an empty chair.
David Cox 08/12/24
poems should start writing
after each one are sighting
will be inviting
when breeze blows through trees
will always cause me to sneeze
later also wheeze
increased light incandescent
would be incessant
perfect and pleasant
we were not sure which
after we had found a glitched
did decide to switch
had hemorrhoid
we were really annoyed
we will avoid
The poet shivers
Feeling under the weather
Haiku! Gesundheit
Mr Curveball was a drifter visiting from left field
Mr Curveball only stayed long enough to be a fleeting thought,
a brain sneeze, his presence often indicated by frowns,
robotic owls looking around, he was a head scratch,
fingers on a chin, occasionally rubbing slowly
invisibly introduced as a spaghetti of oddity until he moved on
- a man dressed as a question dressed as a man undressed
Blame it on Biden.
Blame it on Trump.
Blame it on inflation
and the gas at the pump.
Blame it on our borders.
Blame the Chinese.
Blame toilet paper hoarders
when covid makes you sneeze.
Blame it on the Christians.
Blame it on the Jews.
Blame it on the LGBTQ's.
Blame it on Putin and his
war in Ukraine.
This blaming game is quite inane.
What’s funny ? Going mad!
Try to write a poem within the rules, quick march.
It is bad.
Look left and right.
So please do not sneeze, Mini arch.
I might.
It's true.
A mini arch.
Chu.
What’s funny ? Going mad!
So please do not sneeze, Mini arch.
Chu!
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