Short Sitcom Poems

nothing but darkness
one thirty minute sitcom
may bring back the light...

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Sul-li-ee-van, yes mom
Where is my CD-ROM?
Meenie knows
She once paws
Dorothea's sitcom...

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Laverne, Shirley, Big Ragoo
And there’s Lenny and Squiggy
Making dodo dreams come true.
Doing itsu way.
...

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Comedian Roseanne Barr
A brash style gone far
Lived the sitcom she created 
censorship is overrated


For Contest: Clerihew...

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COVID-19 Instant Replay:
The Super Bowl at Tampax Bay
Where Patrick & Tom
Can stage their sitcom
No matter what the doctors say...

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With her new tv show, Roseann Barr

had the chance once again to go far,

but her most recent gaffe

didn’t garner one laugh,

and her sitcom might get a new star!


Aug. 22, 2018 for the Celebrity Limerick Contest of Tania Kitchin...

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The fifties brought on dazzling star Lucille
Zany and bubbly she was ideal 
O like no other sitcom
Pure entertainment for Mom
Laughing at each week's new crazy ordeal



AP: Honorable Mention 2021

Originally posted on February 1, 2019...

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Frasier Crane
had a hyperactive brain
loved all things suave and debonair
but not a fan of his dad's armchair

Martin Crane
got by with his dog and cane
was a beer and burger scholar
who knew the value of a dollar

10/06/21

from the sitcom 'Fraiser'...

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Mom,
Miriam,
Freeze the bomb
And keep me calm.
Thanks for keeping the equilibrium!

No wise philosophies of the medium.
Freed from the ‘somme’.
This sitcom
Saved me
Mom

Mom,
Miriam.
Cluster bombs?
Delirium?
Never seem to infiltrate your frail palm....

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Jerry and friends, whose humor never failed,
Ended nine years on air by being jailed.
Left viewers feeling blue
Without "No soup for you!"
Most fans were angry. Their protests emailed.




April 2, 2022
On A Lim Contest
Sponsor: Joseph May
TV sitcom: Seinfeld...

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REST IN PEACE JOE MAFELA

He was a role model
he was a hero
he was keeping us happy
I remember him in the sitcom Its Gud it nice
I remember him in sitcom Going up
he was a best comedia
Joe Mafela rest in peace
I will miss you 
It hard to accept that you gone
Gone but not fogoten...

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There it was loud on the intercom
“Please come to the office, Tom’
And just like a bad sitcom
They dropped the bomb
No discussion just a blunt axiom
Told to grab his pompom
And march off to Guam
To retrieve a precious rhomb
Tom was in quite a conundrum
So he went home and chanted Om


March, 2018...

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Blanche isn’t content just to flirt.   
With lightning speed, she sheds her skirt
for a roll in the hay.
You can bet, for each lay,
hot passion she’ll surely exert.

the sitcom "The Golden Girls"--character, Blanche Devereaux


March 31, 2022
Entered in the On a Lim Contest
Sponsor: Joseph May...

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you'll do what you've always done 
stay too long 
pretending you're a suitor 
or a knight in shining armor 
and i'm a damsel in this dress 

what a mess we've made of things 
you've been content to play the part 
of an ill-suited lover 
in a prime-time t.v. sitcom 
and i've been swiftly blown about 
wearing my heart on my sleeve...

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Doug Heffernan
A goofy and humorous man
He spurred belly laughs with every show
Sad when the King of sitcom had to go

Carrie Heffernan
A wife and workaholic with a plan
She never seemed to get a break
with Doug's demands of burgers and steak

10/3/21

Contest: Clerihew 2 Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Joseph May

( The King of Queens )...

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Florida Evans
Ethel Mertz
Theodore Huxtable
Michael Scott
Mary Albright
Bob Vance 
Dr. Johnny Fever
George Jefferson
Esther Anderson
Mayor Quimby
J.J. Evans 
Lily Aldrin
Lisa Douglas
Gloria Stivic
Uncle Fester
Oliver Wendell Douglas
Arnold Ziffel
Archie Bunker
Gomez Addams
Baldrick
Gomer Pyle
Lord Percy Percy
Grady Wilson
Wally Cleaver...

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Sue posed nude on the cover of Fforbes
Shocked neighbours saw her massive pink orbs
Her old father went mad
She said "Don’t worry Dad,
You'll feel better once the shock absorbs"

Pure fiction as 'Forbes' is a business magazine
Ff was  deliberately used to make the name sound upmarket like the name Audrey FForbes-Hamilton from a British Sitcom 'To the Manor Born'

09-28-17...

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I think sometimes,
you have me beat,
I'm just part of the audience,
maybe I should take a seat.
I feel like the star,
but don't wanna be,
part of another
cancelled sitcom on t.v.
but these channels have gone static,
I should shut this theatre down,
just as I am walking out,
I hear a familiar sound.
That theme song music,
it's got stuck in my head,
kinda catchy little tune,
so I'll just stay and listen instead....

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On TV was a sitcom named Taxi
That aired from late seventies into eighties
The whole cast was so funny
Elaine’s smile lit up sunny
But my favorite was Jim Ignatowski

To travel in time would be pure
A feat I myself could endure
Back To The Future did shine
But the one thing I find
Old Doc Brown stole the movie for sure

Some actors I try to avoid
And movies these actors destroyed
Though all of them stars
My favorite by far
Is undeniably Christopher Lloyd...

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You starred in a British sitcom called Father Ted.
It is extremely sad because now you are dead.
You were successful and things were going great.
But then a tragedy occurred when you died in 1998.
You were taken far too soon, you were only forty-five.
The world would be a better place if you had survived.
You excelled at acting and you were a teacher too.
You were an awesome Irish man and people loved you.

(DEDICATED TO DERMOT MORGAN WHO DIED FEBRUARY 28, 1998.)...

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Sitcom actors,
Feel with my soul.
Actresses,
Left in the cold of past television shows.
"I remember you in..."
Woe!
Never escape the blue tube yesters.
Thinking out loud-
Poets,
Equivalent fate,
Writing the same old?
Just pondering.
After awhile,
Nice,
Moving on to another write-read?
Hey-
All of us are only human,
Like a spice of reading.
Myself,
I do not want to end up like Mikey,
On a box of cereal called "Life"
Remembered in one moment & no farther-...

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Crazy Cat, I will say you are all wet.
You are not the chief of this tribe yet.
That position is still reserved for me.
I am the one who leads our people called “Hekawi”.
You know that cavalry troop led by Sergeant O’Rourke and Corporal Agarn.
They are all lousy shots.  They couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn.
Even though the network cancelled our show,
in widely-displayed reruns, we still go to and fro.

Based on the sixties sitcom “F Troop”
...

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Sun angles in on the room just so
There's a strip of light on the floor for my dog
Sirens outside if you pay attention
AC doing its best
Nothing in the fridge
But condiments and expired takeout
No money to shop for food
Finish my book
Stare at the wall
Is this what it's all about
I must be missing something
I was born without hunger
Watch other people 
They seem so fake
Like a bad sitcom
Is anyone happy
Is anyone sane
The dog licks his ass and falls asleep
He's got it all figured out...

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