Short Missus Poems

twirling curly-locks

   Narcissus

is his own missus...

Read More

Manhattan
Missus
Slaying
The masses
With class
And glasses
Never giving up
With a sash
That slashes...

Read More

I'm on the moon tonight

Shroud in icy eyes

Blowing kisses 

To my Missus

I'm veiled inverse tonight....

Read More

In his navy blue coat with cap
& donning a smart auburn vest
Mr. Robin flew off in a hurry--
leaving the Missus to nest :)...

Read More

Our dog drinks from the toilet bowl.
Which makes the missus howl.
She shouts its not a watering hole;
It's a place to move your bowels....

Read More

Lonely Louie was looking for love
so he prayed to the Lord up above,
"Please, bring me a missus
who gives lots of kisses
despite what I might be short of!"...

Read More

My missus' main problem would be
when her hair hangs down wet, she can't see
and then what did she do?
she used my Cat's shampoo
now we can't get her out of the tree!...

Read More

Bugler

Beyond the mists of Tattered Ridge,
Plays a Bugler who bugles alone.
He’d prefer to bugle in his living room,
But the missus won’t let him,
when she’s at home....

Read More

Missus Claus had to trudge down to jail,
Once more toting with her Santa's bail;
Seems where people all shop
He let red trousers drop:
He enjoys showing biddies he's male....

Read More

Seasons greetings, all is jolly,
Christmas spirit, sprigs of holly,
happy time of party kisses,
Santa cheating on his missus!

written 19th December for Andrea's chastushka contest...

Read More

Mike’s mistress loves wearing short skirts
She nibbles his neck, how she flirts
On the day he's caught out
There’ll be trouble no doubt
His missus will kick him where it hurts!

9/7/18...

Read More

Funny bunnies, Honey,
Costa lotta money!

So do pretty posies,
Panties, chocs and roses.

If I had a packet,
I could really hack it … 

But you can’t buy prezzies 
If you don’t have readies.

Nicer far than this is 
Hugs and kisses, Missus!...

Read More

Well, Wiki with Missus Kissy,
Are discreet lovers of Sissy.
So, they know she swings both ways.
And brings those Mazola sprays,
If She visits Mistress Prissy.



Entered in The Limerick Poetry Contest.
Sponsored By: Tania Kitchin.
4/30/ 23. Contest Winner....

Read More

Simba's an ornery cat says the vet

  During visits both get greatly upset

      Simba grumbles and hisses

         Not at me or the missus

            But at the vet who ain't tamed him as yet

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved...

Read More

What did Custer bluster as he saw the Indians rushin' up the valley?

"HERE COME THE INDIANS, BOYS!  AIN'T NO TIME TO DALLY"!

Custer's brave troopers fought with all the force they could muster,

But the Indians won the day thereby makin' a widder of Missus Custer!...

Read More

needles and nettles
thistles and thrushes
thrashers and hashish
each has a has as each
a brother and sister
a mister and missus
a this and a that is
their there and
they're there
and no 
where
to be
found
finding
all is lost
what cost
freedom we
shall overcome...

Read More

Oft I turn to my friend Doc Mc Neish
When depressed; he just says: Eat a quiche
Hear me out; do not scoff
Missus got barking cough
His advice: Put her quick on a leash!


-----------------------------------------

10th November 2014
Contest: Limericks Clean and Clever
Sponsor: Roy Jerden...

Read More

I
I must have TEA
Must have been in a state
Mississippi
Must have sipped stale TEA
WENT TO HorsePetal
Flowery Hospital
Recovered Nicely
Re-covered 
Doctored prescribed wisely

II
Missus Have TEA
Tennis T anyone
Yes Tennessee -
If Miss Sippy
Wore her New Jersey
What did Dellswear?
Go to ALASKA...

Read More

When Santa said, "I'm DONE, my Dear,
replace me and bring me great cheer,”
he showed he’s unfair.
No woman would wear
the same outfit year after year!

howmanysyllables.com     8  8  5  5  8


December 15, 2022
Contest Title: A Funny Santa Limerick      Placed 2nd
Sponsor: Tania Kitchin...

Read More

A pocket full of sand
To some seems rather bland
But at least I now know
Where I stand with you

A pocket full of rocks
That sparkle promises
Unless they are all perfect
Are all total misses

But a pocket full of love
With no material images
Are so far better for me 
That you can be my missus

DAMO x...

Read More

Santa Claus departs with his wife in fear
Not occasionally, but every year,
That he’ll slip and fall
And breaking his jaw,
Put himself out of commission, Oh dear! 

Written November 27, 2022
Submitted to "Holiday Limerick" Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin
10/10/5/5/10 by HMS...

Read More

angelic kisses from the missus,
no it wasn't she?
bludger had some spiky whiskas
awful bugger werent a 4 me,
watch out for dem shirt-tail  lifters,
bugger off stop bugging me...

re: 'sweet nothings' Dave Williams...

good on ya mate.....Don

love is sweet, but incomplete,
 if ya strike a gal 
with whiskers neat:(...

Read More

Cars One

A coffin for your children
A hearse for your fat missus
A burden on the mother earth
We will not be forgiven

A curse to city dwellers
A blessing for shopping mauls
Noisy,ugly,overvalued
Ridiculously LARGE

More power than 500 horses
Faster than a train
Sophisticated self maintaining
Millstones with a brain....

Read More

I'd heard of this woman called Esther,
Who much prefered London to Leiceter,
Coz you could stay up all night
And still have the right
To behave the next day like a jester

So I met that woman called Esther,
That the world and his missus did pester,
"I do what I can"
She'd say to the clan,
"If you don't like it then find it in Leicester."...

Read More

D ug it out from under the stairs,
I  knew it would be useful someday.
S aving it I was for future repairs,
C huffed I never threw it away.
A ll in good order as good as new,
R atchets and spindles all spinning.
D amned if I know what it used to do,
E minently too good for binning.
D on't care what the missus might say,
...........I'm keeping this sucker for a rainy day....

Read More