Short Farted Poems

My frame lit up as I farted...

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As he received the award, he farted and light went off....

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Avoid that road
The champ has farted
He keeps his crown...

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word slept in my head
and farted in fire-pan
sword in the making...

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Nervy  quiz night fun,
I've farted so I'll finish,
Stop at nearby Gents....

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my belly hurts
smelly blurts
it tweeps 
it twerps
oops i've farted...
nope it's worse...

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I am your defication
I am farted galvanism
To be wiser than one's creator
Is no great source of pride....

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Swim
Eat.....poop
Poop.....float
Float some more
Sigh....stare
Bubbles.....stare
Smile.....I farted
Float...

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Here I sit left broken hearted
All alone because I farted
I am not an a$$
I just had some gas
One last push and then I sharted...

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There was an old man who lived in a bog
And he owned a hog
Each time the hog farted
The old man darted
right out of the back door....

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I was walking along one day
I farted
The guy beside me farted himself to the moon
I wish I could fart on after him
But, the two farts are over...

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The horse I rode in on was, "Nellie"
Renown for the size of her belly
Although hot to trot
She farted a lot
And shook like a bowl full of jelly!...

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He farted at the table, then laughed
Acting like it was his new crafted
The scent was so strong
It lasted to long
The people walked out on his behalf...

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The milkman quite quickly departed
As soon as the postman got started
His slippery mouth
Was heading down south
When she crossed her ankles and farted...

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Ted sure needs to use the porter loo
Ted really does need to do a poo
He banged on the door
Could not wait any more
Ted farted so hard the porta loo flew...

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There was a man named Fred
Who liked eating baked beans in bed
One day when he farted
He and his wife parted
'Well it's quicker than divorce' Said Fred....

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There was an old barfly named Girty,
Her body and breath filthy and dirty,
She'd stink up the place
With no shame on her face 
While she farted when feeling quite flirty....

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Stuck with gas, no antacid had Santa
as he flew Christmas Eve near Atlanta.
When Santa Claus farted,
the reindeer all darted.
And poor Santa cried out, "Oh, Mylanta!”

...

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There once was a farmer called Seamus,
who had an incompetant anus.
When out on a date with girlfriend Kate,
he blamed his dog when he farted,
to prevent her being startled....

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Epigram Couplet Contest
Sponsor: Silent One

Belly ache when the basketball game had started,
I was shooting a lay up, and accidentally farted!


Written: November 21, 2015...

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I still haven't found my Miss Right;
the girl with the cat was a fright:
she farted all day
and stank of decay,
then played with her pussy all night...

for the Baggage contest...

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Would not be lady like
I smirked 
Would be unmannerly
I snorted
Milk came out my nose
I farted my way across the floor into the living room
where my potential date was instantly horrified...

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A dingo ate my baby 
It came into the tent
Gobbled up my kiddie
Farted, then it went

The dingo ate my baby
It’s a terrible disgrace
It swallowed up my nipper
And it didn’t leave a trace...

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here i sit

brokenhearted

tried to poop

but only farted





they paint these walls

to hide my den

the s**t house bandit strikes again

both poems was written by Patrick Guffey...

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Yellow Rhinoceros

I once saw a yellow rhinoceros
And everyone said, "That's preposterous!"
But soon they all went
Because of the scent
He'd farted and it smelled like phospherous!

deborah burch©
6/14/2012...

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