Short Crummy Poems

One grand diner
hear them bleats
crummy man enters....

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No Way 
I Say

I Nag
BIG Bag

Dandy 
Candy

Crummy 
Tummy...

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Batter bitter birdie's bum
Fry the fritter for the chum
Peter's picky peaky tum
Tummy crummy dummy dum-dum...

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Before they become a mummy
Some girls may feel awful crummy
Morning sickness is real
But whatever they feel
At least they can see their tummy...

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There once was a timid young mummy
His attire incredibly crummy
	He draped a dinner jacket
	across his golden casket
Now the pretty ghouls are more chummy...

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He pounded the pavement feeling crummy
his job outlook not very sunny
then he saw a sign
help wanted come inside
becoming a crash test mummy dummy.



10-22-17...

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Bob Bills married a lady for her money,
She left because he treated her crummy.
He yearned to play the field
But it had nothing to yield.
Now he has neither money nor a honey....

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Already longingly thinking about spring
Kinda early but winter's sure not my thing
Love warm and sunny
Not cold and crummy
Listen... listen... the robins do sing...

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Give me a taste of yellow butter please.
Not that crummy oleo or margarine.
I want homemade rolls not that store bought stuff.
And beef and noodles made by my mother.
Nothing else....

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BUMMED

Ann delivered peaches and plumbs.
Bob could only give Ann breadcrumbs.
Ann’s fruit very sweet.
Bob’s crummy crumbs cheat.
Why does Ann’s fruit only draw bums?

7/6/2017
Limerick...

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Our doctor's name is Dr. Liam Crummy
In Ireland, it's a common name but we find it funny
“Top 'o the morning”
Means “A good day coming”
Wish I was Irish, they're language is charming...

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Dr. Liam Crummy is my doctor's name
Don't laugh, in Ireland, it's a name of great fame
Men of all degrees
Waving sheleighlies 
Chanting long live Ireland and Crummy's they proclaimed...

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Already longingly thinking about spring
Kinda early but winter's sure not my thing
Love warm and sunny
Not cold and crummy
Listen... listen... the robins do sing


© Jack Ellison 2016...

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Acquired a new resident doctor recently
Unfortunately, his name is Doctor Liam CRUMMY legally
Must've been tough
More than enough
In his young years, must have endured ridicule frequently...

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I've finally figured it out!
I really have!!
Why they call it crumb cake...
I should have known....
I was blind,
But now I see,
My wife Grace,
Told it to me!
Yes, It's amazing Grace...
Why it's called that...
It's because it tastes crummy..........

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Here's some wacky names, my doctor is Liam Crummy
Barb Dwyer, Seymour Legg, Stan Still, and Terri Bull, really funny
If you want more here's others to avail
Ima Kettle, Dan Druff, Rusty Nails
Can't imagine what their parents called their puppy...

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 The food tasted so very yummy 
He crammed it all in his tummy
Soon he wanted to poo
But there was no loo
Had it before found a toilet crummy


Feb.16.2022
A New Bawdy or Humorous Limerick 
Poetry Contest
Sponsor- Tania Kitchin...

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Here are some wacky names, my doctor is Liam Crummy
Barb Dwyer, Seymour Legg, Stan Still, and Terri Bull, really funny
If you want more here's others to avail
Ima Kettle, Dan Druff, Rusty Nails
Can't imagine what their parents called their puppy...

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she said, she said
if you're ever on the southside
I give the best head
I don't know where I'm going
are you staying in this crummy pad?
I can work it with the best of them
hank is my best friend
maybe I will see you again 
maybe I won't
gotta go see the man...

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Hello Honey, are you feeling sunny
or another day of crummy?

Are you going to be grumpy
because your a little lumpy?

Your still my little hunky
because your always spunky.

I love you my sweet Honey
because your never a dummy!

For my sweet hubby     T Reams...

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The man waited for Thanksgiving Day,
To take part in an evening buffet
The food would be inviting
He felt his mouth watering
He stayed so impatient for Thursday

He found the food tasting so yummy
He crammed all he could in his tummy
He wanted to go for poo
But sad, nowhere was a loo
He ran up and down very crummy...

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(This is true)

Some women have rejected me because I don't have a lot of money.
They thought they were being smart but they were really being crummy.
I was shocked and appalled by their greed.
If you prick a man's skin, he will bleed.
I have something to say to those women and they better listen well.
What you did was wrong and you can all go straight to Hell....

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My curvy bouncy young mum bump
Of  unjoy pump by punk guy jump 
You wormy crony cuckoo cyborg of my numb womb grow
My ovum mock your wrong grown coup
Go mourn by of onyx orgy you grow 

From  crummy  mob of  gory cum you bourn
No cub run cry mummy for you my young unborn
No young curvy bouncy puppy boy by norm
Upon gun my coy gown for fun won 
Now burn or bury my crow cow born...

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I mailed out home-baked cookies;
The recipients got crumbs.
Though really, when you bite a cookie,
That’s what it becomes.

It wasn’t my intention,
(I knew not what I was doing
When I wrapped and packed the cookies)
But I saved them all some chewing.

Now of course, the thought’s what matters
And the taste, I think, was yummy.
Still, despite all of my efforts,
I sent gifts considered crummy....

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When you’re eating a cookie
Or pastry or cake
Or any sweet offering
Someone did bake

There are bound to be crumbs
On your plate left behind
(For the ones for whom finger-licks
Are too refined).

Though if crumbs fall from something
Delicious to taste,
It’s a shame to let tidbits
Like those go to waste.

Which is why I don’t get,
Since such morsels are yummy,
Why something not good
Is referred to as crummy.
...

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