There was a time when I truly thought you stole,
everything from me
The intense pain reached deeper than anything imaginable
There were so many losses
There were so many lies
There was so much that I couldn't do anything about,
as you went on and on with hurricanes of manipulation and control
It took a long time to learn that this would never change
It took a long time to learn to find my own peace
It took years to overcome the baragment of guilt you put upon me
But I am here now and I will never go back
I see everything that I have, everything I am grateful for
I didn't need you to do a thing; I did it all myself
9/12/26
Heidi Sands
(C)opyright
When I look back as far as I can see
through the past of my Earthly memory
I cannot find an absence of belief
or faith in single, loving Deity
I do not know of life without a Lord
hymns on Sundays, singing every chord
However, through a trying adult phase
I turned away on my own proud accord
Although I still believed, I was in pain
Along with ancient anger - Abel, Cain
Temptation put upon Adam and Eve
Then told in Paradise could not remain
I witnessed others select, pick, and choose
particular scriptures that they could use
To back their case, justify, or rationalize
My glowing flame of faith became diffused
Entered theories of physics and science
led me toward Old Testament defiance
In prayer, I now addressed "The Universe"
And on personal God put much less reliance
Exhilarated by Quantum Mechanics
I put on hold mere Biblical semantics
Less literally, I clung to verse of youth
And traveled through a phase of my own antics
Now, when I try to synthesize it all
Everything I've come to know and can recall
It all comes back to Love and Consciousness
Hence, this is where I'll settle ... though Self so small
*Not a poem to start controversy
Imagine bombs falling all around you
But you don't have a clear reason why
Who is one with secrets to say another is worse?
As destruction falls from the beautiful sky?
I, as an Independent ask to know
Why a country dictates another?
When did people stop being equal to bestow
as war times begin to smother?
These words are not to start controversy
They are only to process what's going on today
And search through the chaos for mercy,
in a situation put upon us today
In the murky waters, there's a rallying cry for peace
It has been this way all the while
So why is it in the clearing so far away,
in these years of bombs and endless trial?
Heidi Sands
3/6/26
(C)opyright
* If it is about threat of being attacked here, why not stay here and defend our country?
Divination schemes,
shamlet in full effect.
An effective tactic,
the method discovered from
another scammer.
In high fidelity,
on full display.
HDMI.
4K.
Done got dirty
in front of God
and all em.
Cold crimson,
Monday Crimes,
Uncirculated dimes.
Montage rewinds,
all this time
to be put upon mine.
The Polar Shift Successor,
Evolutionary Competitors.
Unpopular portraits
of Presidential
candidate winners.
Walk our way
with that unsuspecting
Big Purse.
The truth is
that
The truth hurts.
It only takes
one adversary
to turn the ruthless room
against you.
Fool.
Dreaming of pink flamingos, their beauty,
their bite…dreaming of flamboyant flamingos,
so close to shore; I’m in the ebb and flow.
Where has my protector gone as I regard
the flock; awash with blue sea foam.
Dreaming of their carrot necks; nibbling
the serenity of their stretch; dare I touch
the earth or sky, the sandy beach, question why.
Where has my protector gone as my eyes stray;
why am I pulled by the surf; do I dare mingle?
A sudden shock of night in the brightness of bed.
a solitary digit in the bird’s beak. confident that
my husband will save the day, but it’s not day.
The pressure put upon; I can still feel the squeeze
as I awake in the third strange room of the week.
My protector lies near me, oblivious of my plight.
They want to feel like their heroes
without ever having to risk,
they want to feel like their special,
without ever having to earn it.
They want to feel they’re put upon,
so they can claim they're virtuous,
without having to act moral,
feel good, but still do shady stuff.
They want all the praise and glory
without ever having to work,
they want to blame somebody so
they can fail and not feel the hurt.
RASTA MY ASSASIN MURDERED AT MY FEET RETURNED WITH A PILE OF GRAVEYARD DIRT SEARCHING FOR THE OWNERS OF THE BAKERY A BAKERY ALREADY SOLD SWINDLED FROM THE OWNER IN THE END A CURSE PUT UPON ANYONE WHO TRIES TO CLAIM THE BAKERY TANGIBLE DEAL WITH THE DEVIL AFTER THE KILLING OF RASTA ANDREW THE BODY GUARD WAS FORCED TO MARRY THE DEAD MANS SISTER THIS MARRAIGE IN HELL WOULD LAST ONLY IF THE BODY GUARD NEVER SHOW INTEREST IN THE QUEEN HE SAVED THE BODY GUARD JAMAICAN FEMALE DESIGNED A ROOT ON HIS LIFE FORSAKENED WITH 9 NAILS 9 PINS 9 NEEDLES SADLY GRAVEYARD DIRT SHOES FROM THE INTENDED VICTIM OF WITCH CRAFT BACKFIRED BECAUSE THE BODY GUARDS HEART BELONGED TO THE QUEEN THIS ALLOWED THE VOODOO TO ATTACK THE BODY GUARD WITH SUDDEN MULTIPLE STROKES THE MORAL OF THIS STORY NEVER MAKE DEALS WITH THE DEVIL TANGIBLE LESSONS OCCURED WHILE RASTA ANDREW RETURNED FROM THE GRAVE WALKING BACKWARDS FAR FROM JAH FAR FROM HIS ROOTS
Some people can play poker
Not me
My thoughts and feelings sit at the edge of my face
Jumping on the necks and backs of people
If you disgust me, my disgust might take a bite out of you
If I listed all the things that irritate and disgust me
You would feel put upon and irritated
No one wants to hear this
Instead I bring my rant back to my unhidden feelings
When I am sad they yell, stomp, scream, and screech.
All without benefit of voice
But you see my face and you know
See now why I cannot play poker?
When I have a winning hand my crescent smile lights up Manhattan.
And I live in Kansas.
My thoughts and feelings cannot be secured, lassoed or hidden.
They blaze forward like a super hero on speed.
In spite of my best efforts to act aloof or indifferent.
The sun came out
It's sunny after the rain
The rainbow appear
At the background
It means it's a sign
Of good luck and goodwill
After the outpouring
There's smile put upon our face.
May we be blessed to understand
on every continent,
in every country,
city
and town…
We are put upon this Earth to lift each other up
not
to put each other down.
Somewhere the snooty scholars of the world
quietly locked inside their dusty hall
Under the dim light of a candle’s flame
decide which label to put upon us all
I see them now with my book in their hand
yelling to destroy this before it grows
Crying to the world “stop this idiot”
he who disregards every rule of prose
Running around their dusty libraries
Banging their cymbals of fear and alarm
stowing me away on some hidden shelf
before I can do anyone some harm
To all those so-called experts of the world
who will stand upon their soapbox and cry
That I am a con for not following their rules
I tell you that I do apologize
Perhaps it’s true, I am a foolish man
to think this qualifies as poetry
I do not know your rules of form and rhyme
to write the way you tell me it should be
If you’re the kind that cares about such things
you might be right to call this a farce
because I don’t use proper form and rhyme
but to you I say “kiss my ****”
Maybe when it comes time to place this book
back upon those dusty forgotten shelves
Someone who reads these words will find courage
to be the poet that thinks for themselves
I sleep with You
wake up with You and them
Because we don't have problem
As all of us are belonging to You.
We continue breathing because of You.
Being empowered and protected by You,
loved by few and hated by majority
people because of your free grace
That you put upon us daily.
You deserve glory
Today and
Foverever , oh! Lord.
July 8th /2023
Siblings scatter here and yon,
All that one-time nearness gone,
Though many did feel put-upon;
Still, closeness might endure.
They choose to live in different states
With different life styles on their plates
Which sometimes lead to strange debates,
Their reasons quite obscure.
In childhood, though, with parents ‘round,
They shared a home on common ground
And hopefully, they often found
Some ways to get along.
Yet as they grew, they made their way
And often knew they couldn’t stay,
No longer in the family sway,
The urge for parting strong.
The bond, for some, despite the miles
And lives that follow different styles
Stays strong enough for sharing smiles
And sorrows they’ve amassed
Because the homes they once had shared,
If lucky, left them well-prepared
To keep their ties to those who cared
From way back in the past.
Emotional cobwebs broken apart
Feelings of ghosts kept in the dark
Who guides the path of a broken heart
Waywardly distant and constantly on guard
Looking for light for the will to make it through
Constantly the burden is put upon you
Feeling deserted not having a clue.
That He's been standing all along right beside you.
Trudging thru swamps of desolate despair
Scream to heaven how life isnt fair
Wondering why it always seems no one cares
Then casting the blame where you shouldnt even dare.
Barely breathing crippled within
You know you are almost to the end
Having lived your life completely in sin
Still its not too late if only the knees could bend.
Look up this time when your to weak to speak
Pray to the one that you seem to only scream
Ask Him for deliverance and ill promise you this
That life still may not be a bubbly mist
The cruelness wont leave you'll still be within the abyss
But I promise that He will deliver you this
Forgiveness
Acceptance
Love in abundance
Understanding
Guidance
And after all of this
Heaven
Subjected to futility,
poor Eden now must wait.
Misunderstanding deity,
she’s put upon of late.
Imagining she’s mother now,
she suffers little ones.
Her clarity won’t be restored
until again He comes.
A mix of rage and bitterness,
the storms brew on her brow.
With wounded pride, her maker chides,
trapped in the here and now.
But is her world so different
from our corrupted view?
Her gown, like ours, from red blooms white,
when He makes all things new…
————-
for the Robert Frost’s Nothing Gold Can Stay Poetry Contest
sponsored by JCB Brul
written on 02/22/2023
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