Dinosaurs once ruled the earth
And their bones are found all over.
They're in the ground
Just waiting around
For some paleontologist to discover.
There were thin ones, and tall ones,
And fat ones, and small ones,
But they all lacked one basic requirement.
Though all were distinct,
They all went extinct
'cause they didn't plan well for retirement.
I shall be a scientist, the six-year-old said.
A paleontologist? asked his uncle Ned
a meteorologist? suggested his grandpa Ed
A chemist? An astronomer? what is in your head?
I want to do experiments in the lab, the lad said.
Some said it was a monster, a strange creature
Something prehistoric, something unnamed now
I said “horse” every time I saw it
For it rushed like a horse with her mane flying
They brought in experts
Everyone argues.
They wanted it to be a new kind of bull.
Or an unrecognizable animal we did not know.
“Horse!” I said, “horse, horse, horse’.
Look at the way it runs.. Look at the fury.
We will deal with this said an archeologist
A paleontologist asked me to leave.
They spent six years studying this cave painting.
Finally announcing it was a horse.
A paleontologist, I specialized on the fauna
that flourished in the Jurassic era.
So, when I got an invitation to speak
in an international seminar last summer,
on the habitat and extinction of dinosaurs,
I set out to do my homework seriously
on the topic, lest I fail to meet the time-line.
The day before the scheduled date of my talk
I completed the presentation work at home,
and went to sleep happy after the hard work.
Soon I drifted dreaming 165 million years back,
suddenly saw a unique winged finger-shaped bird
in the pristine sky, flying with a flaming trail,
perhaps in fury, for I ignored it in my work.
From its distinctive features
I could figure out what that creature was.
It was a pterodactyl, the flying reptile of the Jurassic,
that entered my room through the open window,
and then angrily ate my homework.
February 9, 2021
Contest : ...And Then A Flaming Pterodactyl Ate My Homework
Sponsor : John Lawless
Carol Ellen’s love of granite will turn her into a fulfilled geologist.
Tim’s fascination with stem cells will help him be a fantastic biologist.
Me, myself, I want to a tri-scientist. Maybe paleontologist.
If not that, there is my secretive dream of being a micro-biologist.
My neighbor’s cousin is a boring, bored, cardiologist.
His former dream was to be an Egyptian anthropologist.
I’ve invented a new career, a Sabertoothologist
Which sounds almost as terrific as a ColdDuluthologist.
Both are my self-made ideas, as I am a well-known ideologist.
My outrageously lovely fall back plan is snappily dressed zoologist
Except the Latin might kill me, forcing me to become an astrologist.
If I want to begin soon, I had best get out some books and blow off the dust.
Paleontologist Steve called in another expert.
Where did you find this? The second scientist asked me.
My heart was beating furiously.
Back yard I told him.
How far down?
Of course I cannot be certain,
for when the Great Dane digs, the Great Dane digs.
I was wishing Yellow Fellow was here to take care of this.
But since he does not drive or speak to strangers, here I am.
My dog dug it up.
Joe looked at Steve and said “You are correct. This is amazing.”
He looked at me. “I believe this is a Stegosaurus bone, he said.
Can we get you to sign a release and send it to our lab?”
“You can have it,” I said.
They called me a week later to ask permission to dig up the rest
of my yard. I told them “no,” for Yellow Fellow had already been
doing that and there were no more bones. Also I wanted my bone back.
I had been building my Stegosaurus model in the garage you see,
and I was short one bone.
OBITUARY NOTICE - FISHERMAN PETER HOOK
Life was too much to tackle
OBITUARY NOTICE - PALEONTOLOGIST GEORGE FOOT
His death revealed many skeletons in the cupboard
OBITUARY NOTICE - BOB PANE
He had more than his fair share of ups and downs
01.06.20
Obituary - Paleontologist George Harris
His death revealed many skeletons in the cupboard
Paleontologists have the very best pants, and the best careers to boot.
They get to travel, and dig, and so many tombs they get to loot!
They get to find fossils – body, trace, and footprints, teeth, and nests.
They get to look for dinosaur bones, and they have fun above the rest.
They get to pick up gray, and black delicate coprolites, and for those who want to know,
here’s the scoop.
Coprolites is another word for tiny little nuggets, hardened now, but
once a dinosaur’s poop.
A pea in a blanket. help assistance is required for the gnome was drawing near to the fire but was blocked by a rat who has morphed into a bee. Worker bee. Good. Fantastic. And now the baboon ensures no pork fest. Great. And obviously no one bothered. And obviously no one cared enough. Oblivious oblivion then. Cable car bra in basins. Balsamic fruit fried. Paleontology patterned printed point. And a dew. Good. And a deity of a half blood means fame to a few. Goodbye goodnight and no good day. Hahaha smoked a single egg mackerel sandwich. Oooh worshipped by a majority vote of no confidence in the car park now. Xxxxx colonic clap clap your unit. Xxxxx passing through a series xxxxx paleontologist playing piano lessons zzz freedom of action for number of prancing prawns xxxx oleo royalist 0 paleontologist 5
Why does our nose smell and our feet run?
Methinks the answer could be kinky
If Mother Nature chose the other way round
It sure would be messy and stinky
Here's something you should never ever do
Don't make fun of a paleontologist
Bet you're wondering why, you bright people
Coz surely you'll get Jurasskicked
What did the banana say to the doctor?
“I'm not peeling well today”
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
Apparently he pasta way!
Two drunks in a bar, one says to the other
“Isn't that Hortense over there?”
The other says she looks pretty calm to me
Saw her knickers, try not to stare
When a midget fortune teller escapes from jail
It's called a small medium at large
Was laughing so hard, nearly soiled my knickers
That surely gave me a good charge
The difference between pea soup and roast beef
Obviously you can't pee soup
But roasting beef is really quite common
Now hang in there until the next group
© Jack Ellison 2015
This shuddering heart-throb.
This 11-pound earthworm.
Warm, with fat skin in tiny bundles.
Eyes swimming for clarification,
The gleam in them like lighthouses
In search of just you.
Her arms cling sloth-like around my neck.
Her legs pump and jostle for position.
(For what? A better view over the left shoulder?
I tried the right now and again. She hated it. So left only now.)
Like this in low-lit kitchens, we dance.
I dip and slide with this big fleshy spider
While it emits piggish grunts.
She burrows endlessly into my collar bone,
Dying to dive back into daddy's DNA
For something left behind.
The Infant Paleontologist,
Desperate for discovery.
But she won't find anything. She never does.
She always falls asleep too soon.
I'm too good of a dancer.
(For now, anyway.)
You,
A creature so unlike a dinosaur,
Pallid, weak and frail.
No fossil in the stony flesh of Mother Earth,
Unlike trilobite, leaf or snail.
Worse yet, no one searches for your trace,
Or recognises that you're missing,
They're all wrapped up in studying,
Fornication, fondling and kissing.
No biologist, paleontologist, anthropologist,
Searches for your presence, growing frantic,
To find at least one before the Great Extinction,
The last of the true Romantics.
T'is true they're not searching for you now,
Without rutting their interest is small,
They'll learn one day that the old ways were true,
And again you may hear hopeful calls
Swoop the Pterodactyl
Copyright Corinne Curcio July 29, 2008
I had a lot of Beanie Babies
When they were in style
Those little dust collectors
Always made me smile
But there’s a very special one
With whom I’ll never part
Reminding me of when I was young
And dreams sang in my heart
Swoop the Pterodactyl
Watches over me
From atop his aerie
He’s carefree
I thought I’d search for fossils
Travel to distant lands
Excavating dinosaurs
Is what I’d always planned
But life had other ideas
Or maybe it was me
Why try to reach beyond my grasp
For what can never be?
Swoop the Pterodactyl
Watches over me
From atop his aerie
He’s carefree
The grownup is in charge now
But sometimes the child escapes
I sit astride his back
Flying over Cretaceous landscapes
And we glide…. we glide
When I see him on my shelf
I feel a little ache
Perhaps burying my dreams
Was a very big mistake
Can I dig them up again?
A paleontologist at last?
But do I really want to
Start sifting through the past?
Swoop the Pterodactyl
Watches over me
From atop his aerie
He’s carefree
And we glide, we glide....
This is actually a song
Lizards or Birds
What difference would it make to the humans in the mezoic age if the dinosaur
was made of leather or just skin with wings or without a giant bird or reptile if
your hanging in it is mouth a morsel for the smorgasbord of love without a doubt
just making meat for something else to eat and hanging out. Let us ask the
paleontologist the good Dr. Hice sir in laymen's terms please tell us all you knoe
about the dinosaurs. The eye once saw a giant condor face to beak without a
doubt the ugliest of creeps the bird was ugly you had to be there sort of thing. And
Stinks. In my humble opinion the dinosaurs were never lizards but most all of
them was birds at least the condor were.
Lizards or Birds
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