Best Paleontologist Poems
You,
A creature so unlike a dinosaur,
Pallid, weak and frail.
No fossil in the stony flesh of Mother Earth,
Unlike trilobite, leaf or snail.
Worse yet, no one searches for your trace,
Or recognises that you're missing,
They're all wrapped up in studying,
Fornication, fondling and kissing.
No biologist, paleontologist, anthropologist,
Searches for your presence, growing frantic,
To find at least one before the Great Extinction,
The last of the true Romantics.
T'is true they're not searching for you now,
Without rutting their interest is small,
They'll learn one day that the old ways were true,
And again you may hear hopeful calls
Why does our nose smell and our feet run?
Methinks the answer could be kinky
If Mother Nature chose the other way round
It sure would be messy and stinky
Here's something you should never ever do
Don't make fun of a paleontologist
Bet you're wondering why, you bright people
Coz surely you'll get Jurasskicked
What did the banana say to the doctor?
“I'm not peeling well today”
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
Apparently he pasta way!
Two drunks in a bar, one says to the other
“Isn't that Hortense over there?”
The other says she looks pretty calm to me
Saw her knickers, try not to stare
When a midget fortune teller escapes from jail
It's called a small medium at large
Was laughing so hard, nearly soiled my knickers
That surely gave me a good charge
The difference between pea soup and roast beef
Obviously you can't pee soup
But roasting beef is really quite common
Now hang in there until the next group
© Jack Ellison 2015
This shuddering heart-throb.
This 11-pound earthworm.
Warm, with fat skin in tiny bundles.
Eyes swimming for clarification,
The gleam in them like lighthouses
In search of just you.
Her arms cling sloth-like around my neck.
Her legs pump and jostle for position.
(For what? A better view over the left shoulder?
I tried the right now and again. She hated it. So left only now.)
Like this in low-lit kitchens, we dance.
I dip and slide with this big fleshy spider
While it emits piggish grunts.
She burrows endlessly into my collar bone,
Dying to dive back into daddy's DNA
For something left behind.
The Infant Paleontologist,
Desperate for discovery.
But she won't find anything. She never does.
She always falls asleep too soon.
I'm too good of a dancer.
(For now, anyway.)
Love Aligns
Of names given at birth, one blooms special.
Mary seems to me a popular name.
Common folks and royalty likewise called.
But no two named Mary are quite the same.
A young girl named Mary lived righteously.
By God she was favored, is history.
She willingly bore God's begotten son.
Obscure to man…virgin birth mystery.
Infant queen, Mary of Scotland, betrothed,
Had escaped Henry the Viii rough wooing.
Life's whirlwinds, deaths and romance havocked her life.
Politics sent beheading ensuing.
Mary Read of Devon County, England
Surrounded by death, raised as a boy.
Captured by pirates of the Caribbean Sea,
Became a pirate herself, lived wild joy.
Mother and Daughter, writers named Mary,
Mary Wollstonecraft, swayed by T. Paine, wrote
"A Vindication of the Rights of Woman," (1792)
The thoughts of a mother, by death made remote.
Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, sweet sixteen,
Strong spirited, influenced by her mom
Left home to be Percy's mistress…outcast.
Sorrows in life are Frankenstein's where-from.
Mary Anning, a woman paleontologist,
Prepared fossils from Jurassic era beds.
Well-known by geologists, financially poor,
Put new ideas in scientific thinkers heads.
Famous women named Mary nowadays abound.
From Mary Anne on Gilligan's Island
To Mary Poppins flying through the air.
Each Mary, in her own way has some life brightened.
All of the women I have presented herein.
Have one thing in common: strength and chagrin.
But, there is not one Mary I read about or met.
Whose loves like my grandmother's was fashioned.
She, was a woman of strength, strong will, and *****.
But, tenderly, she comforted many a tear.
Teaching young children from her sewing machine,
She consistently worked to keep family near.
She offered fresh fruit from the family tree.
I know her sweetness from Heaven shines.
Without her love, I wonder where I would be.
When I hear the name Mary, love aligns.
© July 17, 2010
REFERENCES:
1. Mary Queen of Scots: http://www.rampantscotland.com/famous/blfammqos.htm
2. Famous Pirate: Mary Read: http://www.thewayofthepirates.com/famous-pirates/mary-read.php
3. Mary Wollstonecraft & Mary Shelley: http://classiclit.about.com/od/wollstonecraftmary/a/
aa_famousmother.htm
4. Mary Anning: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Anning
Swoop the Pterodactyl
Copyright Corinne Curcio July 29, 2008
I had a lot of Beanie Babies
When they were in style
Those little dust collectors
Always made me smile
But there’s a very special one
With whom I’ll never part
Reminding me of when I was young
And dreams sang in my heart
Swoop the Pterodactyl
Watches over me
From atop his aerie
He’s carefree
I thought I’d search for fossils
Travel to distant lands
Excavating dinosaurs
Is what I’d always planned
But life had other ideas
Or maybe it was me
Why try to reach beyond my grasp
For what can never be?
Swoop the Pterodactyl
Watches over me
From atop his aerie
He’s carefree
The grownup is in charge now
But sometimes the child escapes
I sit astride his back
Flying over Cretaceous landscapes
And we glide…. we glide
When I see him on my shelf
I feel a little ache
Perhaps burying my dreams
Was a very big mistake
Can I dig them up again?
A paleontologist at last?
But do I really want to
Start sifting through the past?
Swoop the Pterodactyl
Watches over me
From atop his aerie
He’s carefree
And we glide, we glide....
This is actually a song
Paleontologists have the very best pants, and the best careers to boot.
They get to travel, and dig, and so many tombs they get to loot!
They get to find fossils – body, trace, and footprints, teeth, and nests.
They get to look for dinosaur bones, and they have fun above the rest.
They get to pick up gray, and black delicate coprolites, and for those who want to know,
here’s the scoop.
Coprolites is another word for tiny little nuggets, hardened now, but
once a dinosaur’s poop.
Skylights warn and warm where acorns drip. The slight angle of acidity in the air can be measured accurately with a ruler or the nib of a ball point pen. Ball point pens are not really balls or points for they are pens and pens are prints, paint, and form occasional prisms in a paper whorl of scribbled ink. Of every hue. Fine and finer. And details outlying the plans are interrupted by a sixteen ton coffee cup whose snores cause vibrations then the liquid seeps over the edges and lands upon the written words causing much smudge marks. Suited earwig headed man with round glasses is not amused. Most perturbed to be exact. All night he had spent revising and crossing the t's and dotting the I's. And now it was indeed a rather sad scrawl of blur. Oh dear. Picking up the pen he walked over to the papers and spoke loudly in order to wake the cup. The cup was startled. What had it done? "you were snoring" shouted the earwig head. "you have spilt liquid onto my work. MY work is thus destroyed." To which the coffee cup gave a nonchalant look and folded his arm handles. Great thought the man. But wait are not those pieces of building blocks left from the babies ball banquet. Great they are. I can make a little model of what I composed on print. He began work immediately. Five seconds of sleep. Wow. Always astonishing how a window cloth can gather a stronghold over smears. The model began to take shape. It would be ready for the board soon. Remarkable. The thick pieces of plastic were soon assembled into formation. Overseen by a paperweight swan which glided around the desk hissing at the cup. And later the widow spiders would wave, the whales would walk, the wallpaper would wink and all the grounds would begin singing operatic arias and clouded liquids would clear the residue of a fallen road kill of a suitcase. Suitcases can look quite messy of left at the side of a road. Especially when they are run over. Splattered. The nylon wire in the air is humming today but isnt in tune with the birds. Ha the sentinels are sweeping the little play tent. Ha ha the paleontologist is playing with a patented patterned platypus. Xxxxx multicolumns z z z z z with a twist of a dormant doorman dormouse standing at over three thousand feet in a stable. Ok then. Interplanetary. Z.
Oesophagus is an appetite yet is it appropriate? Well in some cases it is merely only a handful of peanuts that shroud an already crowded melon. But what of force in a nation of static? Oh no. Apparently not. That is far too emblematic you see. And emblems are depicted in a dungeon. Dingy dogmatic dramas digging delving drawing devilish demonic drains. And the cry from a ten ton wallaby will never be heard with all the banging and crashing from an allucid spit. Well crust then. No that is pivotal. An erectile projectile of sanctification in a moronic acidic hit. What drives you? It is not a car? Nor a bus. It is integral. And important. Fantastic is the Deluxe dancing dandelion department whose offerings are prevalent in a midday swish. But midway in a hallway is neither a big blessing or a small curse. Ingest not a pickling paedophile prostrating pratagonistic pallid paleontologist. For it is a very large canopy that vaporises a can of beans or peas. And leopards won't fit in a pan and neither will a spotty flower. And a mild mildew sings but not like la la la nor I I I it is in a boldness that a reason dwells. Xxxx hahahaha lots if hahahaha and a gherkin in a three piece suite xxxxx delapudation z
Lizards or Birds
What difference would it make to the humans in the mezoic age if the dinosaur
was made of leather or just skin with wings or without a giant bird or reptile if
your hanging in it is mouth a morsel for the smorgasbord of love without a doubt
just making meat for something else to eat and hanging out. Let us ask the
paleontologist the good Dr. Hice sir in laymen's terms please tell us all you knoe
about the dinosaurs. The eye once saw a giant condor face to beak without a
doubt the ugliest of creeps the bird was ugly you had to be there sort of thing. And
Stinks. In my humble opinion the dinosaurs were never lizards but most all of
them was birds at least the condor were.
Lizards or Birds
A pea in a blanket. help assistance is required for the gnome was drawing near to the fire but was blocked by a rat who has morphed into a bee. Worker bee. Good. Fantastic. And now the baboon ensures no pork fest. Great. And obviously no one bothered. And obviously no one cared enough. Oblivious oblivion then. Cable car bra in basins. Balsamic fruit fried. Paleontology patterned printed point. And a dew. Good. And a deity of a half blood means fame to a few. Goodbye goodnight and no good day. Hahaha smoked a single egg mackerel sandwich. Oooh worshipped by a majority vote of no confidence in the car park now. Xxxxx colonic clap clap your unit. Xxxxx passing through a series xxxxx paleontologist playing piano lessons zzz freedom of action for number of prancing prawns xxxx oleo royalist 0 paleontologist 5
Carol Ellen’s love of granite will turn her into a fulfilled geologist.
Tim’s fascination with stem cells will help him be a fantastic biologist.
Me, myself, I want to a tri-scientist. Maybe paleontologist.
If not that, there is my secretive dream of being a micro-biologist.
My neighbor’s cousin is a boring, bored, cardiologist.
His former dream was to be an Egyptian anthropologist.
I’ve invented a new career, a Sabertoothologist
Which sounds almost as terrific as a ColdDuluthologist.
Both are my self-made ideas, as I am a well-known ideologist.
My outrageously lovely fall back plan is snappily dressed zoologist
Except the Latin might kill me, forcing me to become an astrologist.
If I want to begin soon, I had best get out some books and blow off the dust.
Paleontologist Steve called in another expert.
Where did you find this? The second scientist asked me.
My heart was beating furiously.
Back yard I told him.
How far down?
Of course I cannot be certain,
for when the Great Dane digs, the Great Dane digs.
I was wishing Yellow Fellow was here to take care of this.
But since he does not drive or speak to strangers, here I am.
My dog dug it up.
Joe looked at Steve and said “You are correct. This is amazing.”
He looked at me. “I believe this is a Stegosaurus bone, he said.
Can we get you to sign a release and send it to our lab?”
“You can have it,” I said.
They called me a week later to ask permission to dig up the rest
of my yard. I told them “no,” for Yellow Fellow had already been
doing that and there were no more bones. Also I wanted my bone back.
I had been building my Stegosaurus model in the garage you see,
and I was short one bone.
OBITUARY NOTICE - FISHERMAN PETER HOOK
Life was too much to tackle
OBITUARY NOTICE - PALEONTOLOGIST GEORGE FOOT
His death revealed many skeletons in the cupboard
OBITUARY NOTICE - BOB PANE
He had more than his fair share of ups and downs
01.06.20
A paleontologist, I specialized on the fauna
that flourished in the Jurassic era.
So, when I got an invitation to speak
in an international seminar last summer,
on the habitat and extinction of dinosaurs,
I set out to do my homework seriously
on the topic, lest I fail to meet the time-line.
The day before the scheduled date of my talk
I completed the presentation work at home,
and went to sleep happy after the hard work.
Soon I drifted dreaming 165 million years back,
suddenly saw a unique winged finger-shaped bird
in the pristine sky, flying with a flaming trail,
perhaps in fury, for I ignored it in my work.
From its distinctive features
I could figure out what that creature was.
It was a pterodactyl, the flying reptile of the Jurassic,
that entered my room through the open window,
and then angrily ate my homework.
February 9, 2021
Contest : ...And Then A Flaming Pterodactyl Ate My Homework
Sponsor : John Lawless
Obituary - Paleontologist George Harris
His death revealed many skeletons in the cupboard