Should I have married Jillian?
Could I have slept with Gemma?
I’ve got about a million
of this kind of dilemma.
They crop up in a thrice, of course,
but hang around for ever
(or do they crop up in a force?
Oh, why can’t I be clever?)
I envy those with certitude,
those free of hesitation.
I ‘d love to be the kind of dude
who knows no trepidation.
If doubts exist and qualms are rife,
you, luckiest of creatures,
have found experience in life
to be the best of teachers.
So, if he says he has no fear,
no ambiguity lingers:
he never tried to snuff – it’s clear –
a candle with his fingers.
Just get my life
Hmm. Out of love. Out of order. Dry field
No green lawn. Walk on dry land. Unloved
Hmm. Unloved. Empty of love. True. Hmm
Hmm. Always was true. Never lie. Dark star
In the sky. Invisible, imperceptible desire
A dead hope, solitude, motionless, this life
Motionless restlessness. Without lust for life
But believe. A bit. In life. Need a soul to get life
Give, please. I don’t need your money. Just heart
Please, implant a new heart in my soul. And love
Give, please
A new beginning
From your hot blood
From your beating heart
To me
For a new desire
If I could have lived my life
Then this life is not mine. Not mine. Then this present has gone too far
I didn’t wait this time. Never. I needed the love. But that didn’t work
Doesn’t work the love? Unacceptable, my life? Yes. This is the reality
Solitude is the price for my independent life. I am paying the penalty
Hmm. Price? Penalty? Hmm. I am telling the truth. Looser life is best
Goodbye, my lost life, I feel good in the undertime, this world is mine
I needed to live my life. Very. But the psychology crossed my own will
I couldn’t put the fruit of my dream on the altar. Monsters’ science kill
Kill you
Kill me
Everyone
Don’t give up
God gave a way
Restless solitude
Is my life
We will met
In the Eternal
My time is vitally precious
I most jealously guard and protect it
~ I make room for silence
Wordku: 5-7-5 words
AP: Honorable Mention 2025
I am nothing and everything
To myself or someone else
Isn’t that concept something?
Moment to moment perspective shifts
Arriving blunt with charm and harshness
Challenging each step of the way
Anxiously hiding then fiercely defending
Mind numb then mind bending
Nobody sees me then all at once
Everyone sees me
How will I ever reconcile this?
I slip into nothing
Then I’m suddenly summoned for dependability
In the diaphanous domain
of the sapphire serene night,
the drizzle of moon’s silver sequins,
defining the existential epithet
of the dulcet melodic cadence,
adorned the pearl-laced waves
of the rolling sensuous sea,
spread seamlessly before me,
beyond the baroque shore,
where I sauntered only with me
in the corridor of the musical mind,
followed the tune of soulful symphony.
The rain-washed sparkling sky,
spreading the suffusing spectrum
of my kaleidoscopic opulent dreams,
weaved the tapestry of fantasy
with the lattice of chromatic imagery.
The surreal strings designed the splendor
of the charismatic rainbow motif,
arching over the halcyon horizon
that beckoned me to the concert of being,
let me feel fascinated the vibrato of life.
In the whirlpool of turbulent times,
swirling with the miasma of despair,
I turned the dented emotive impulse
into the lyrical crescendo of concerto.
On its sonorous serenading wings
I flew in the rhapsodic sky of sonata
to the harmonic realm of afflatus,
realized the essence of the nascent notion
that life is a song.
That’s when my life changed.
Remembering what she used to be.
How she could light the world ablaze without a second thought.
Her words like daggers, always ready for a fight.
Always wanting and waiting for the thrill of the adrenaline.
Her feels numb, not even feeling the hurt of being used anymore.
Was it the constant state of depression, anxiety, or self-hate?
She never stopped, always full speed, like a wildfire burning, until she couldn’t burn anymore.
Crashing down to rock bottom was the only way to find healing.
Healing was the only way to find the hidden path to the life she was destined to live.
Who knew a setup would turn into that long-awaited feeling after one meeting.
Knowing from the first date this was her yin to her yang, when her life changed.
Loving all of him, even the pieces in the dark corners with cobwebs.
They have fought each other’s battles and loved each other at their lowest.
Their love still ablaze to this day.
She didn’t think she would have this kind of love, her past self would never have let her have it or think she deserved it.
She’s living a life she only dreamed of.
For: when my life changed Poetry Contest Sponsor: Kai Michael Neumann August 13, 2025
*****
a Curtal Sonnet
My life changed when suddenly Mom grew old,
the years had passed I was aware, too soon
the sunny afternoon became the dark
shadow of impending coil's mortal cold
journey underworld to the banks of gloom~
the ferryman will bid you to his barque.
Dont go! I cannot bear to be alone,
precious time has slipped away, left me stark
and naked in the darkess of new moon,
how soon for selfish sins must I atone?
Momma, disembark!
If my life were to fly?
Then can find a lover, the soul just flies, two is one, be us
No partner, no mate, no open gate from my life, just a life
The rusty key is lost. Can’t open. No lock. You. Loved off
My life was to fly, to your crown, my age. Dry wreath dry
I loved my time, your magnetic life. Woman creates a killer
Need her death. Created my own life. Loved. Your death
Love you, loving you. The heart. A heart. He believed you
We can’t fly. Loved a heart. Us. Imagine. I am flying where to fly
Loved you. Dry memory of you. You can’t live. Where to fly?
If my life?
Do not get carried away with a man testifying about you
The fleeting and lying world will dump you soon and leave you cold
Hard to explain your loyalty when your eyes are closed
Folly game they play, holding to unconfessed sins to do
Well, a judgment day will end them anyway
One thing is for sure, evil has no power for sure
Covered by the blood of Christ, sealed by the holy spirit
Manifest the father walking the path kept ahead to endure
----end---
I can’t pay my life
No attention. How to pay attention?
A self-driven person. A narcissistic
What can I do? Can’t take care of
On my life. He is closed. A desire
I don’t know him. Maybe an alien
Stranger. My life. Different person
Driving me. I can’t control. The Will
My will. My wished life. My desire
I don’t pay with my life. Hell. Satan
Arrived. Light. Mine. Pay with life
With life. Lost. Help find. Lost love
Can’t pay attention. Dead life on
I can’t pay attention. Heavy my love
I want to switch off my second person
“You can’t,” said the second person.
I am a student. “Yes.” Said Satan.
I can’t pay my life
Paid. Said Satan
A cemetery
Pays lives
I can’t pay
My life
Paid
Love
Satan
I am
Hell
The night pressed in with a velvet hand,
I was so tired, you’d understand.
All day the world had sung its song,
But not for me—I did not belong.
The streets were lit, the windows warm,
Yet none could shield me from the storm.
I wore my smile like Sharon's borrowed dress,
While hollow winds moved through my chest.
I thought of spring, I thought of rain,
Of all I loved that could not remain.
There was no anger, only release,
A soft surrender, a will toward peace.
I let the darkness close me in,
It felt like love beneath my skin.
Do not weep, for I am free—sigh,
The world was never meant for me.
my love life
is a flash of television
movies
reruns
and a bit of news
it's all on screen
and
i'm the outsider
looking in
AP: Honorable Mention 2025
The story of my journey has many pages.
I open to a one that is yellowed, old,
crumbling. Oh, that park at the end of our street,
where I would sit on a bench with father.
We were still, lost in the hues of green,
and blue of the river flowing by.
Put my life away
You don’t need this life
Watching you from the dark
Lost your desire
No. It was mine
You. Was a desire
I respect life
Put my life
Away
Fill
Bye
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