*continued from pt 2*
Our physical bodies are numb, and our souls, tormented. It’s why some of us hurt ourselves. We feel a lack of purpose, draining our desire to go on. With no purpose, no love, and nothing but brutal lapses in our thoughts and emotions, will we ever be able to break free?
We are the ones who wish to die and escape this world in hopes of finding a better life after death. Our only hope is put into things we cannot see or feel. And that lingering, underlying hope is what will either keep us alive to see another day, or it will be what sends us on. Peace is what we are in pursuit of. To bad we’ll never know when and how we might attain it until its already too late.
Please read parts 1 and 2 for a fuller picture on the state of mind of those who struggle with severe depression, mental illness, and suicidal ideation.
Thank you for reading.
The urge is overwhelming –
to see my battered skin break open.
To feel, believe, that I’m alive –
might thaw my soul, so frozen.
I’m cold, I’m numb, am I even real? –
or a figment of someone’s mind?
(For) no matter how much blood I spill –
(there’s no) feeling left that I can find.
I’m lost within a realm of souls –
where all but mine can matter.
I hate this suit of flesh I’m in –
it’s torn, beaten, and battered.
I’m branded as the “useful one” –
but all the same, disposable.
This hate could fill a sea —
(until it’s) shores should burst and overflow.
My loathing, not for others –
although they care not of their sins.
But if I must be honest –
I hate this soul which lies within.
I never understood –
why I was treated as an outcast.
I guess I’m just too sick –
perhaps it’s why my friends don’t last.
We see how this narcissist gloats
D.T. needs M.D.s who take notes
They say he is mad
And Trump's ballroom pad
Should be staffed by men in white coats
You can't hold it both ways, In meaning.' You
Are either direct.' Or directionless..And thus
In a mess.' No less-en-ing, yet less kenning will ensue.' Though
You deny..Its more obvious..Showing through'
True.' Reality denying.? I find it at best tedious'
Not to mention trying.! And now cov-idiocy is
Really dying.' Symtoms seen, idio-tantric bouts
And much de-crying..Tantrum-atic antic's its
Virtuless incandesacnt-cy liquid spleen venting, venting' yet never airing.' Instead there
Is resenting and vitriol..And severe dis-connect, much fruit less conversation, born.? that really
Cripples the formerly upright soul; struggle of noble
Nations...How do I quantify.? Highlight the prints of such scorn.!
Duel
A soldier sits, sleeps, breaths.
She wonders why she fought.
When people go about their day
without so little a thought.
Why did I face Death, she thinks-
and the monsters and the war-
to join the princes who have lived
without so little a chore.
Death has many faces.
Ravens, foxes, sparrows too.
The blackness of the Thames rises up
swallows them beneath its dew.
Drowning, drowning, into your own head.
That's what Death is
a sleep of infinite dread.
Where do you go? When do you go?
No time, no space.
Nothing remains.
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
Death stopped for me, lifted his head-
left me to my refrains.
People searching, looking, thinking.
But never seeking, feeling, breathing.
Why? To them it's simply nature.
And nature has faces, and nature has places.
And those that prey among the beast
will soon be swallowed by the gale.
With nothing to think about
and nothing to feel.
When you have danced and dined with Death
your skin and veins bleed ink.
And in your life he leaves behind
his foul scent and stink.
Every time I come closer
Away farther it gets
Without understanding
Whispered by a seeker
The More calm
The more insights attained
Insight gateway for success
Successful light worker
Illuminating the dark
Wisdom must be applied
Timid is the mind
Those addicts of pleasures
Relying on uncertainty
Can't find way to navigate
Through life
Find someone to blame
Rather than taking
Responsibility of mistakes
Acting all
Forgetting
time
always
comes
Around
Clock
Tick
Karma
Visit
Think, think
Never live
In your head
Thoughts
Emotions
Feelings
Mind what
You digest
Heart
ACT according to your potentials.
You can't buy it twice
Forget about it
First lovely
Awakened
Awareness
Lights
Everywhere
Security
Alerts
Behind
The bars
LIVE
Sentence
Decide
Consequences
Faced
Alone
Never seen a mad man with friend
Neither and
Never seen
A broke
Man
With friends
Winds of change
Blows
Away
All
When you aid another and leave a migrant to die in the sea
Then you're no better than a killer, read on to learn why, you'll see
"I'm dying! Save me! Save me!"screams a young lad
You're desperate to help, but you're torn between good and bad
Another voice yells! "Please come help! My child is going to die!"
You know this is bad, your heart does not lie
A young kid covered in blood staggers and faints right in front of you
All the stories you heard, they were true
The child's face turns blue
You don't have time to think and your human instincts kick in
And you do what your heart tells you, rescue
Hours later you've saved all three
Anya, Lukas & baby Annie
Mental Health
When I read these words
I see me.
My life
My father
My family
It seems to
run deep.
It feels like we was
walking tall grass.
We did not know
how long the episodes
would last.
It started with dad
as a child we did not
Know why sometimes
he was sad.
Manic
It set us all in a panic.
In the 1960s
no one explained.
Until we five children
inherent Manic.
Now we finally
know what it means
Unlike our father
With the right medicines
and the right doctor
We feel we are seen.
Into the realm of dread I roam,
where shadows loom as spirits
groan.
The air is thick with deathly
doom,
and eerie whispers fill the room.
My senses reel,
my heart beats fast,
as ghosts of the past reveal
their past.
I fear the worst,
yet still I go,
into the realm below.
jagged edge blade, made me bleed and stabbed me deep, so far in, i have quite literally changed mentally and physically, i have become a lean ground beef pack, to be used after freezing and to be used once, please dont use me whole, i-i- l'll burn!
Children shot down in a school again
It’s the collateral cost of freedom I’m told,
by a labeled unstable son-of-a-gun kin
He had “wild horses roaming free” in his head,
that’s what the county doctors said
As the grief-stricken soul of a community bled
His eighteenth birthday gift was a death wish:
Killing innocent kids was at the top of the list
An unpredictable behavior everybody missed
The government officials declare,
the young man was “emotionally disturbed”
But bullets don’t grey matter care
Forensic fingers paint the crime scene “evil red,”
as automatic revulsion smears their semi-stoic conscience
Cold bloody memories, they just can’t ever shed
And the true metal believers idol-ly say,
the unhinged shooter was “mentally perturbed”
Seems bullets get asylum alter ricochet
05-28-22
She cried her heart out in the shower this morning
Desperate, anguishing tears
Uncontrollable, convulsing sobs
Anxiety within was strangling her
Clenching and crippling
Incarcerating her into a frozen-like state
All the while
No one heard her cries
No one shared her suffering
No one knew how defeated she felt
How crumpled her courage was
How convoluted her coping skills had become
How much it was consuming her
Porcelain contours cradled her body as she wailed
Powerlessly...
Fearfully...
and...
Alone
July 25, 2021
Exercise combats
the effects of daily stress,
as body gets well.
Screams upon screams
Noise upon noise
Can't sleep again
These are the joys
Fancy a break?
Just take a pill
I'll probably work
lol Mentally Ill
It happens ....... behind closed doors,
It hardly ever happens in front of you,
One to scared to talk,
The other thinking they wont get caught,
Mentaly and physically abused,
Isolated from family and friends.
Being told "you've nowhere to go an no one to help you,
Dont listen because that's a fallacy,
Find the courage find the strength,
Call 999 reach out to a neighbour
There are places to go and people who will help you.
It's mostly women we hear about but men hardly ever,
This is probably through embarrassment they need help to,
I've read about those that dont survive,
Its inescapable more needs to be done,
If your been abused dont be a statistic be a survivor,
You need to get out be free live your life away from them.
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