Long Shell out Poems

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yeah ...
they hijacked my mind, man -
hard-wired my neural synapses
said I'd be famous ...
(wealthy, certainly)
With MY financial issues
what choice, really?
Family no longer cares -
they gave up on me ages ago
(who can...

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While eating my morning bread,
A sudden impulse struck my head,
What if my mother doesn't get paid
No food; a voice from inside said
So simply that means you are dead….

What am I thinking; my first question to...

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the groveler 

I.  finding out that the other party has in fact stopped the affection
finding out that the other party has found interest in another one of the over 7 billion humans living, breathing,...

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Once a year she comes in the middle of the night.
While children are dreaming about her eccentricities and specialties.
Her colors, her laughter, her barks, and shrieks and screams,
When children are on her Tilt-a-whirls and Rocko-Planes.

Once...

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now…what does a “pastor” do?
hmmm…a “pastor” reads to a flock of sheep from a work of
fiction, much like a mother might read to a small child from a
storybook &
when the eyes wide with belief begin...

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on the reference of a 
friend who used to be
close, s/he asks the cartomancer 
to come to the house---
as this is not a privilege
often granted to those whose cards
are to be read (so the “reader”
claims),...

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My bike was transportation; Mom didn’t drive
But sometimes I sped off on an adventure
To Telegraph Hill the miles were only five
Big sis and I made the ride a joint venture

What she didn’t know was the...

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A splatter of random color,
literally thrown on the canvas,
sold for two million dollars,
has it really come to this?
Somebody would shell out cash
for what is really a paint spill?
Perhaps they really ‘get it,’
I’m thankful that I...

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Do not blame the snail
When it drags along sluggishly
Or draws back in its shell out of fear.
But what do you say of one
Who competes with a turbo jet
And makes friend with a sledge hammer?

Do not...

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Spookaroo where are you he yells while standing at the window 
his diaper is sagging and his witches hat is crooked and all askew

The ghostees are busy tonight preparing candy for the big kids 
she...

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dad waited 8 years
to tell him that 
cancer had infiltrated his body---
dad waited 8 years to tell him that
he had done anything about it---
dad had to stop working &
when he put money in the market
under...

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pump em’ full of roids 

don’t give a *****about baseball,
don’t care about basketball,
could give a **** about football,
could give a piss about the Olympics
& i wouldn’t watch the Tour de France if 
you paid me,
but...

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sucks to be a kid 
on a hurricane halloween,
where putting on the
costume to trick or treat
really doesn’t make much
sense, because along with the
whole getup,
you got to fit your little self into
some waders or rain boots...

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DNA to the Rescue

By Elton Camp

Way back in the days when I was young
A man accused of “bastardy” was hung

Not that rope was put around his neck
But the girl was always believed, by heck

Money, the...

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When I take women out on dates, I treat them like equals and they get mad.
I make them pay for their dinners and movie tickets and they think that is bad.
If they want to be...

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Apartments are expensive
With an extra monthly fee
For maintenance, which I can
Understand, to a degree.

But in an advertisement
For a condo that’s for sale,
A factor was included
That would make some people bail.

Along with monthly maintenance,
The purchasers would...

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