Long Purdy Poems

Doggerel II: Doggerel about Doggerel, or, More Nonsense Verse

The Board
by Michael R. Burch

Accessible rhyme is never good.
The penalty is understood:
soft titters from dark board rooms where
the businessmen paste on their hair
and, Walter Mitties, woo the...

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Trifolium pollinated courtesy bombus

Before landscapers mow swaths
across undulating waves of clover
(the father/daughter team
usually cut grass every Tuesday)
bumblebees alight from one to another flower.

Meanwhile, I lie splayed
mid morning June 28th, 2022
with stomach upon natural carpeting
quietly basking...

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The Bachelor Spectacular
by Michael R. Burch

One heart? Tossed aside.
The other? A bride’s.
In all his great wisdom, the bachelor decides.

Eeenie, mean-ie, mine-y, mo’,
one gal must stay and one must go.
If she hollers? That’s the show!

No heart...

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Wonderworks
by Michael R. Burch

History’s
mysteries
abound
& astound,
found
(profound)
the whole earth ’round,
even if mostly
underground.


The Procrastinator’s Creed
by Michael R. Burch

It’s always, “Tomorrow, I’ll do it.”
Work? I eschew it.
I never collect money I’ve loaned
and the rest of this poem’s been postponed.


WHEN...

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Erotic Poems I

Less Heroic Couplets: Marketing 101
by Michael R. Burch

Building her brand, she disrobes,
naked, except for her earlobes.


Erotic Errata
by Michael R. Burch

I didn’t mean to love you; if I did,
it came unbid-
en, and should’ve remained...

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Limericks VIII plus one Lead-In Poem



Updated Advice to Amorous Bachelors
by Michael R. Burch

At six-thirty,
feeling flirty,
I put on the hurdy-gurdy ...

But Ms. Purdy,
all alert-y,
kicked me where I’m sore and hurty.

The moral of my story?
To avoid a...

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Fun fact ...got a birth mark the size and color of a watermelon seed on the right lower cheek of my butt.
Hence my theme song she's got a freckle on her butt but she's purdy.Now...

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Aye Writhed With Agony...

Unbeknownst to any
     innocent onlooker, aye
underwent extreme internal
     torture with silent cry
ying whimpers, whence,
     (either left or

   ...

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For Carolyn purdy Hibbert Foy ( wilderspin)
Carolyn, you gave me your heart, your home and your life.
I gave you hurt, tho I wanted you as my wife.
My life was random and yours was laid out,...

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Mating Calls, or, Purdy Please!
Limericks by Michael R. Burch

1.
Nine-thirty? Feeling flirty (and, indeed, a trifle dirty),
I decided to ring prudish Eleanor Purdy ...
When I rang her to bang her,
it seems my words stang her!
She hung...

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(Papa’s got ‘is gun on you) 

When I was young my ma said ta me
“yer gonna meet a man an’ be his bride”
Now whoever thought that YOU would be
So lucky as to be my pride?

Gimme...

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My gift from God
leaps you mold
In my womb your brief abode
Prompts the love we share
Essence of God's love
A golden rose is my care
Sealed with infantry chuckles
Cherub Smiles
Button nose cute
Disrupted flute
From fragmented tears
That bow down your...

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Perfect!  (Hypochondria?)

I’m not sick.  I’m not ill.  I’m not crazy.  
There is nothing wrong with being perfect.
My mommy told me so.
"illness anxiety disorder" It’s just a label….Just a name
Like thousands of...

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This morning I wanted to write a poem
But the words just wouldn't rhyme
So, I'll just put it away
And try another time

Well, here I am in the afternoon
Armed with paper and pen
The words will surely come...

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Riden' hard; saddle sores on my butt;
I found a little town by the name of Rotgut.

Bustin' in the salloon, thirsty to the core;
Needn' a poke, thought I might find a whore.

I ordered a whiskey and...

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I met him and talked to him only twice
Both times between the mumbles and grumbles what he had to say wasn't nice
Complaining about this person or task
Why so negative, I thought to ask
Maybe it's not...

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When I was a kid I heard this term
My simple young mind was aghast
How could there be a tree for such things
My mind was confused unsurpassed

Pictured this scene of a big old oak tree
With a...

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