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Toilet Trees

When I was a kid I heard this term
My simple young mind was aghast
How could there be a tree for such things
My mind was confused unsurpassed

Pictured this scene of a big old oak tree
With a seat carved into it's bark
The seat had a hole the size of a bum
Where a man for relief would park

The meaning was finally explained to me
Toiletries were sweet smelling lotions
To make us tough guys smell oh so purdy
This concept I sure had no notion

Now when I go out I douse myself
With that powerful smelling cosmetic
Dressed in my spiffy new velvet attire
Enhanced by my charms so magnetic

When I was a kid I heard this term
My simple young mind was aghast


© Jack Ellison 2013

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2013

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Duke Beaufort Date: 8/10/2013 8:31:00 AM Very funny, sir. You make me smile. I told my daughter about turbulence on aircraft flights cause we were going to take a trip. She started to cry because she was thinking they were turbul-ants and there would be bugs all over the plane. We straightened that out. Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 8/10/2013 4:47:00 PM LOL That tricky old english language eh! Thanks again for dropping in my friend!

Sara Kendrick Date: 8/8/2013 4:36:00 PM Cute one..I am a little dense..I didn't get it at first..I had to overthink it ...Ha!!Ha!!Sara Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 8/8/2013 5:59:00 PM Silly me eh... big warm hugs xoxox

Richard Lamoureux Date: 8/8/2013 4:03:00 PM The soup is certainly an educational destination. Thanks Jack. Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 8/8/2013 4:13:00 PM Something new every day eh! Have a good evening my friend!

Laura Breidenthal Date: 8/8/2013 4:00:00 PM Hahaha! This is very cute, Jack. I always love your subject matter. You never fail to entertain me! Always, Laura Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 8/8/2013 4:12:00 PM Does the words weird or strange come to mind! LOL Big warm hugsies xoxoxox

Debbie Guzzi Date: 8/8/2013 10:55:00 AM YOu got me! I thought for sure you were going to write about throwing toilet paper over the trees! LOL Light & Love Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 8/8/2013 11:42:00 AM Sorry dear Debbie! LOL Big warm huggs from the heart xoxox

Nette Onclaud Date: 8/8/2013 9:51:00 AM you simply knocked me off my socks, jack.. now i have to call you winnie the pooh, lol... this is swell!..:) huggs Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 8/8/2013 10:06:00 AM Put those socks back on there, Nette... your tootsies will get cold! Warm hugs... xoxox

Carol Eastman Date: 8/8/2013 8:17:00 AM When Dragon enlightened the Kung Poo Master... He could have used a lot of this... Snicker... Sorry, couldn't help ourselves... LOL Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 8/8/2013 8:21:00 AM You guys are a hoot! Maybe I should dedicate a poem to Dragon!

Russell Sivey Date: 8/8/2013 8:12:00 AM I was never confused about this word when I was younger, but I never heard this word until I was a teenager and figured it out quite quickly by the way it was used in a sentence...but I surely can see the confusion my friend, so sorry you were lost with this term! But I must say that I was laughing at the humor of your situation, quite funny my friend, this is a wonderful write Jack! What a delightful poem, Great Work!! Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 8/8/2013 8:20:00 AM The english language is full of these weird enigmas! Thanks for dropping by Russell!

Ilene Bauer Date: 8/8/2013 7:47:00 AM ha! yes, we all have those words we mishear as kids and you've done a fine and funny job of describing your confusion. Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 8/8/2013 7:49:00 AM Wonder if others were confused when hearing this for the first time. LOL Thanks for dropping by Ilene! Warm hugs... xoxox