Long Prude Poems

Wergle Flomp Good Humor 2023

The following constitutes a rather 
twisted as a pretzel SUBTITLE:

I dash with my jiggling boobs in an attempt to escape... 
being overrun by teddy bears and beanie babies
while carrying out heavy...

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Limricks prompted by a comment made by someone today

It's a fact, and no longer just a rumor
Some soup people barf at toilet humor
Have you sniffed your own butt 
It stinks so keep it shut
Pessimism must...

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Was Saul a Deeply Flawed Intellectual Snob (Perhaps a Prude as Well)?
Does Christ's Protest Still Ring True Today?

Part 1:
I'll state my aim clearly, "I come, not to praise Paul (Christ honored?) but bury
usurper? Profane, anti-Christian's...

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July first 2023 will celebrate...
our sixth anniversary at Highland Manor Apartments
	
Subtitled: The perspective of one festive folky fellow
friendliness ofttimes prompts me 
when crossing paths with another to say “hello,”
whose demeanor trends toward being mellow
courtesy about...

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The day was long and she was spent
off to the pool our hot mom went
asked for some lotion
and dreamlike potion
drifting away she was content

Before to long she had awoke
sounds of pleasure the pool boy spoke
she...

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Limericks VIII plus one Lead-In Poem



Updated Advice to Amorous Bachelors
by Michael R. Burch

At six-thirty,
feeling flirty,
I put on the hurdy-gurdy ...

But Ms. Purdy,
all alert-y,
kicked me where I’m sore and hurty.

The moral of my story?
To avoid a...

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which prime mate affectionately called buttock blaster
alimentary explosion ofttimes causes global disaster
upon such gaseous debacle run for your life ever faster!

Yours truly (humorously dry husband)
can definitively attest,
she (thee missus) nixed, ordained,
inured, espoused blessed
discrete frolicsome liaisons...

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And the cemetery was so quiet
It had me wanting to make less noise
It had me wanting to breathe soundlessly
For those who did rest there deserved their sleep

But then, I chose to sit on a bench,
To...

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I was talkin' with the Lord when He said to me
"Are you okay?  Need some company"?

I told Him that even with all His creatures
I couldn't find one that had my features.

"Well, no need to...

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?I thought that I would never see
Another macho man like me.
Ex-green Beret and Airborne Ranger,
Who never shirked in face of danger.	
But that ancient myth was soon dissolved,
When my wife asked me to get involved,
And accompany...

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Wayland here again with another clerihew to end the year
These will probably never be famous, but that isn’t the fear
Sometimes the honesty is these may be just a little too strong
They're all done in fun,...

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I adopt dainty etiquette
when quenching thirst or dining
to buzzfeed growling beast
inside me tummy.

The missus requests obedience
raising both my little fingers in the air
upon taking beverage or repast to lips.

Additionally, she also requires I
(well healed husband...

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I’m sorry if I’m boring
Plain and annoying
I swear I did my best
I guess I expect
You to do the rest
There’s my first mistake
You should never take
More than you need
You should only take
What you need
To live to...

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Daughter of the King

Young woman.....
You are 
First and foremost and always 
A daughter of the King....

Molded and created with 
delicate architecture and 
infused with notes of mystery 
and beauty, 
Fiery passions and gifts that 
slowly...

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Where does one begin to write,
away from the streets' nioses and children's screams,
forgetting those bouts of loneliness
that evade the inner peacefulness?
One starts with a pad, jotting down appealing ideas...
never having to fear they'll be lost.


I...

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Come, come and find me in my solitude
You shall see the hidden facet of this girl so prude
You shall see the real me
The wild side which I keep repressed for the sake of societal civility

Pray,...

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A young woman named Meredith
took a cook’s job on a great ship,
raven-haired and dark of eyes,
she stood slender as a whip.

For five years she traveled wide
across the ocean’s of the world,
seeing so many exotic places,
an...

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They tell me that I must avoid feminism.
They tell me that feminism makes me hate men.
They tell me as a feminist no man will like.
They tell me all about misandry and not about
misogyny and after...

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Life so complicated, so vindicated
Life never so simple in the dimple
Smiling, pining, piling up pressure in indicated
Moments and torments in a pesky pimple

Germinating on a face hitherto serene
Driven bonkers when complication that conquers
Spaces and territories...

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"In Unison between the Point of Singularity"



Rarely 
notes ever compliment
suspended like points in 
singularity
opposites eventually attract
silent string theories
suspended in animation
dancing around each other
flirting with the birth
of the concept 
of another life
existing in 
the mirrored
room of...

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Allison liked to climb big rocks,
that’s how she spent the weekend days,
with ropes, pitons, and other gear,
felt most at home on a cliff face.

She’d come out to the Sierras,
to a campground with ledges near,
a short...

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Will you allow me? 
Could you fathom how? 
Would you even listen? 
The sound-of— 
Of my voice— 
Only one; 
Only one voice... 
It's as if you have no choice.. . 
Choice... 
You don't have any...

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Window cleaning is my trade and I want to tell my story
Like the time I saw the Vicars wife in the bath in all her glory
Or when I saw the Vicar tied up, I thought...

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Amazing what difference
riel (real) money (not Fake)
in the Citizens Bank checking account
(thank you social security disability -
monthly dollop transient

peaceful easy feeling doth make),
I savor bliss courtesy
cache buffer affords,
cuz psyche temporarily
ceases to quake
analogous with cerebral

colliding tectonic...

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The future now seemed to be so dark and bleak
Why, always had she been one, in love, so weak
Always had she surrendered
Always had she adhered

Yet, it had come with no surprise
That, as from then, no...

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