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I was talkin' with the Lord when He said to me
"Are you okay? Need some company"?
I told Him that even with all His creatures
I couldn't find one that had my features.
"Well, no need to worry about it." He said
Then he gave me a nightcap, and put me to bed.
When I awoke I was awfully sore
Little did I know there was to be a lot more.
For He had taken a bit of my hair and a piece of bone
And whilst I slept, formed for me a unique companion.
I caller her "Eve" as it seemed to fit
As time went by we were a hit.
We would talk and eat and walk the garden nude
No neighbors as yet, we needn't be prude.
Then one day she said to me,
"Hey Adam, here, try some fruit from this tree."
Not knowing the difference between evil and good
I took a big bite, as together we stood.
Then in a flash everything turned black
I knew we were in for some serious flak.
"What have you done?" I asked aloud
"Was this from the tree, which was not allowed?"
"Well", she said, "The snake gave me the word
That if we ate it, we would be like the Lord."
We realized we were naked and ran off for some leaves
When the Lord started calling, we were hiding in the trees.
"What's going on?" He said to me
"Have you eaten of the forbidden tree?"
Like all blame shifting men not skipping a beat
"Yes, Lord", I said, "Eve gave me some to eat.
"You foolish creatures . . . it would have been wise
You could have spent eternity in this Paradise."
"I'm sorry Lord, I can't say it enough."
"You're right, you can't, so I'm making this rough!
Because now, you will have to scratch out a life
For yourself, your children, and especially your wife.
If you think this is bad, you're in for a trick
Wait until some banker dreams up plastic.
She'll be shopping and buying and going all around
It'll be enough, to put you in the ground.
As for her, she'll suffer as much and more too
After all, now she'll have to put up with you!"
So an angel took us to the gate in the garden wall
Saying only, "Be careful, now it will hurt if you fall."
So there we were, On the Outside Looking In
At that manicured garden, where we committed our sin.
I wouldn't mind if so much weren't at stake
Now all she says is, "I have a headache."
I've tried to forgive her and a gentleman be
But I still can't let her control the remote for the TV.
So here I am thinking, "I've been such a dupe,
For posterity . . . I'll put this on Poetry Soup!"
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