Long Klutz Poems

Captain kuni-lemel graduate strikes again - updated

Steely Dan sing queen (me)
outdid himself on sixtieth anniversary 
after Grahame Wood 
determined to meet 
the evolving needs of the community 
opened the first Wawa Food Market 
in Folsom,...

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I was forever losing things, and my laughing friends called me a klutz,
Like darker skies misplace buttery sun, when a severe storm develops.

I had once lost the keys to my house, and waited locked out...

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Captain kuni-lemel graduate strikes again

Even when iron not red hot, 
I implement non customary quarks 
regarding foreigner rather cold as ice
namely delinquent outsize credit card debt 
mandates yours truly, 
a cheesy survivor who rem: members...

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While sidestepping impediments,
Achilles heel stricken with paralyzing zap
chronically inducing captain klutz
to bemoan and yap,
i.e. (think) booby trap
strategically laid down by the missus -

necessitating yours truly
to patschke with marauder map
in an to circumvent and handicap
becoming lame...

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Captain Kuni-Lemel strikes again
(even when iron not hot, but rather cold as ice)

Yours truly a day late dollar short
dollars to donuts bonafide klutz
living testes mint procreative
seminal squirt biological reproduction,
could never conceive to abort
despite countless occasions,

I...

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Old-time fans called him 'The Great White Hope'
    Larry Bird had to 'walk the tightrope'
  He was no dope; he knew he was special
    So he focused hard...

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Battery Check

I had better say this before it is too late
& I'm doing a battery check 
down at the School of the Americas
badda boom mafia rim shot
the old wisdoms are newly or neo-inadequate
all of them...

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Occasionally we should expose the wackier lobe of the brain
in order to better appreciate the more sensible side of the mind.
     ~THIS is one of those times...

I capriole between my arabesques
fugaciously...

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One fine day, me, Molly Coddle and my Goombah Pa Pa,
      were sitting in The Cat In The Hat restaurant;
we gongoozled the men-you. " oh, I have collywobbles
  ...

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I’ve picked it up a hundred times
yet dropped it just once more
So I give up, the blasted thing
can lay there on the floor

And stepping out onto the porch
I hit the ice and slipped
As I walked...

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Suddenly frisson aye describe...,
I suddenly feel scared

As told once upon time helloo
from me matt chew
most previous poem ugh goo,
viz freak accident found ninety
degree angled desk corner (ewe
might not bull heave)

rammed, impaled, fricasseed 
smack dab skew
whirred...

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A date or two, whoever knew,
   you and I would marry,
      one look from you that summer day,
         didn’t I...

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whoa whoa whoa whoooa
whoa whoa whoa whoooa
love at first sight
can it be real
what is this sensation that i feel
my heart is pounding
my tongue is tied
i'm sweating buckets
it can't be denied

you are the definition of love
an...

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"This is no place for you!"
She woke from a sound sleep.
The message was from her sister.
It had made its way into Pink Faerie's dream.

She looked around.
Bluebird was grinning at her from the other side of...

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I brought you all here today
For something very important I have to say
An apology of some sorts
Lets start with you the oldest of course
I’m sorry that you don’t shut up
I’m sorry that your such a...

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You had one job
A simple task
I ask you nicely
To do for me.

Yet your such a klutz
You just screwed it up
It was so simple
You find it complicated.

Distracted or forgot
Your so simple minded
To lose track of time
Forgot...

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Oh how I wish we danced
  what a sight it would have been
  the dance I took from him,
you
  floating on air, without a care
  angelic wings adorned,
  music swaying...

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Time for some giggles
Now what shall I write?
About klutzy old Jack?
Should be a delight!

Been quite renowned
For his blunders at times
Here are a few
Of his more classical kind!

Riding his bike
Passing a parked car
Door opens... a collision...
He...

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Time for some funnies
Now what shall I write?
About klutzy old Jackles?
Should be a delight!

Been quite renowned
For his blunders at times
Here are a few
Of his more classical kind!

Riding his bike
And passing a parked car
Door opens... a...

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Do you still call me in your dreams?
Fetus pillow ,how I miss your feet
Alarmclock flashes through molasses
Teary pillow tangled sheets

Recalling conversation
Questioning the answers
Recoiling in retreat
C'mon coffee, stay awake
Time to face the busy street
Time to walk...

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Time for some funnies
Now what shall I write?
About klutzy old Jackles?
Should be a delight!

Been quite renowned
For his blunders at times
Here are a few
Of his more classical kind!

Riding his bike
And passing parked cars
Door opens... a collision...
He...

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Has this ever happened to you, my friends
Was walking my sweetie down the lane
When out pops a sign post and belts me one
Rattles me and shakes up my brain

Was trying to impress my sweetie pie
There...

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Arrogant parrot with disdainful eye
Beloved pet of a seafaring man
Beautiful colours that would make you sigh
Bird's jaded vision the whole room does scan.

Tropical bird quite spoilt by his owner
Colourful language much like his feathers
Truth to...

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Away in a circus
I’d lions to tame. 
Controlling the wild beasts
Was my claim to fame. 

Lions were escaping,
‘Twasn't me they'd eat.
Quickly, they ran past me
Hunting for fresh meat.

Acrobats were swinging.
So were one guy’s nuts.
Lions gobbled...

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All carefully constructed self worth is striped away
As the laughing voices breach the wall and
Tear away my identity. 
I am a gangly, awkward teenager—
	A giant in a fairy world.
I am a depressed, needy cutter,
	Sucking the...

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