Long Kerplunk Poems

See
by Michael R. Burch

See how her hair has thinned: it doesn’t seem
like hair at all, but like the airy moult
of emus who outraced the wind and left
soft plumage in their wake. See how her eyes
are...

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Written in summer of 1976.


I used to eat my lunch with groups
of businessmen from Campbell Soups.

We drank a drink at lunch each day
Of Coca-Cola mixed with hay

And talked of pending corporate plans
And willow-haired orangutans.

I spent...

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Twice told toilet tale – a cheeky execrable gross fable

which poetic product best be affixed 
with hashtag STINKY label.

As a young whippersnapper
and one precocious lad to boot,
I discovered common combustible materials
found in the bathroom.

At opportune...

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cocoa powder puffs
for velvet truffle cheeks...
chocolate blush

sunny yolk says hi
butter gives an oozing hug--
bitter choc just melts

mmm, good, just so good
chocolate tickles tongue...
happy throaty slide

messy brown fingers
hot weather melts bittersweet--
oh! just lick them off

no more...

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Somewhere in time this Philosopher stonily ponders...

A poet (quite familiar with yours truly)
sat at his computer
trying his darnedest to craft a rhyme
imagining when both parents
of mine lived during their prime,
when me creative father acted out...

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Early in the morn, just before the sun would rise
The scent of bacon, thick enough to burn my eyes
Crept under my door, across the sheets and into my nose
The aroma I smelt every morning before...

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Before golden opportunity
(goes no argh hue mint 
the way of Long John Silver)
doth fade and dwindle
not necessarily cuz the missus
did (NOT) bribe and swindle
an ambition (for nor rhyme nor reason)
arose to kindle...

Affectionate communication
employing (figurative) gambol
probably...

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Miss Muffet sat upon a velvet stool
I know 'twas a tuffet; learned that in school
But Muffy was the tart
Who broke the spider's heart
I'm telling the story, so shut up, fool!

Humpty Dumpty had no wisdom at...

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Sunshine undulates across verdant plain
casting dark shadows ushering twilight zone
ringing athwart tree trunks
invigorating, joyously kickstarting, 
and plenti revitalizing
bountiful nature buzzfeeding 

vim, vinegar  and spunk
caressing, massaging, and palpating with
soundlessness inducing bub bully giddy,
and sudsy spongy...

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At the capitol rotunda
Two senators faced off on
Gun rights versus oversight
Each side bunkered in
Intractable, their way to win
Sharp tongued irate debate
Open thinking went kerplunk

Head to head, noses pressing
Like two rams rutting
One grabbed a neck
The other...

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Matthew Scott Harris, whar art thou spunk?

The following admission
honest to dogness haint no bunk
nobody, but yours truly
bore deeply and countersunk
his spontaneity satisfactorily
lightweight corporeal mein kampf,
didst more than baptise or dunk
cuff, which admirably aided to flunk,
(whereat...

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Once in time ,a cargo plane was flying 
above in the azure blue.
You see the plane was carrying seeds for planting,
or every size ,sort and hue.
When at once,the winds grew rough,
and the sky turned an...

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Matthew Scott, Whar Art Thou Spunk?

Nobody, but yours truly
bore deeply and countersunk
his spontaneity satisfactorily
lightweight corporeal mein kampf,
didst more than baptize or dunk

cuff, which admirably aided to flunk,
(whereat no universal solvent,
could (kant) kelp dissolve barnacles
of sea...

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Well, here I am sitting on the golf course
Watching the fireworks display overhead
Yes, I know I'm not as big as a horse
But at least one golfer I have misled

“Kerplunk" came the ball, bouncing off my...

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DefinitiveSound
Kerplunk sound of stone dropping down into water Kersplash is man falling overboard a 
boat. Whoosh is the wind or someone moving or something moving fast leaving wind behind. 
Plop is messy. POP may be...

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I kept listening to beliefs:

“This is the way things are.”
“This is the way things have to be in order to…”
“You know, if you do this, you will receive that…”
“That’s just the way it is. That’s...

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"That's utter balderdash," I loudly screamed
you can't catch a dragon with a mousetrap.
This operation proves you have no clue
we're in trouble; put on your thinking cap! 

I'm sorry, but luck is not on our side
and...

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Dressed in spike shoes
And summer whites
He steps onto the manicured fairway
Heart in the game and focused

Toting proudly a new bag
With left-handed custom
Putters drivers and irons
Glistening in the sun

Studying every curvature of the lawn
He carefully analyzes...

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Grouchy is a grubby feeling,
with the nasty taste of blah;
makes you out of sorts with living,
the opposite of hurrah.

You don’t like anything 
you used to really love;
instead of giving kisses
you would rather pinch or shove.

You...

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What‘s better than a biscuit?

Hard to debunk 

Treasure trunk funk 

Should you let

It get wetter

Would you dare risk it?


The trick a quick dunk

Or could flunk..flick..kerplunk.. 

Mushy chunk sunk..messy junk

Slushy slunk..in the tea you drunk


So at...

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A Dog in the House

By Elton Camp

Visitors know he’s there when they enter the door
For there’s a rank odor that they’ve smelled before

It’s one that only a fanatical dog lover could please
A powerful mixture of...

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Marvelling in the pink afternoon, pretending
to crochet a drawstring. I’ve done it before,
at least once before, followed the pattern. Closed
the purse. I can’t nearly begin
to learn that not all things are meant
to bring pleasure to...

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They say there is no cure for the common cold or the flu. How do they know? I have just gotten over lying in bed for five days with the flu! I have been a...

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The boat's headed into the chop coming back we'll have following seas.
Mac's left alone at the helm, I'm fighting stomach unease.
I stand at the fold down cut bench
With the cardboard box stinking of fish
It's causing...

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As a child I was called a Tom Boy,
following my twin brother like a shadow,
wherever he went I would tag along,
hanging out with school boys to belong.

Backyard kickball kept us out of trouble,
playing for hours...

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