Long Junk mail Poems

Wow, look, we can save $500!

I wonder how much we must invest
to generate this savings.

Oh, I see.
We need only buy a new or used car,
which, of course, as everyone knows,
is something that we truly truly...

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She crossed a wide ocean, during war times, in danger
A life of adventure, of courage, of fear
Yet, nothing reveals the hint of the years
that have chiseled her wrinkles, but not dampened her cheer

She pours me...

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She's pouring from a pot of tea
    as we relax on the quiet porch
Honeysuckle vines encircle the posts,
   and webs of daddy long-legs
      glisten in...

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Despite emotional, financial, grammatical...
any woe that doth assail
whereat early in the 
morning until late at night tub bail
sinking craft, not possible 
(essentially 24/7), I bewail,

where the fickle finger 
of fate stationed me in life,
as if...

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There was a time
when we waited eagerly
for the mailman -
when mail deliveries 
            had actual mail in them
 
There were real 
  ...

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For the last fifteen years, I’ve gotten red in the face 
I could scream bloody murder every time I get it
I can’t believe that our congress can’t pass a law
to throw these people in jail...

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my life ahead
 I enjoy my daily sights and sounds, would not give that up. 
up early and out under the skies to get some adventure
can’t say the amenities are the best but it has...

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We await the daily mail delivery with eager anticipation.
Alas, today came another batch of worthless information!
Of course there were the usual bills that arrive without fail,
But where's the check that guy promised would be in...

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Ring damn it!!! 

-

Dust collects on the closed slatted blinds
as carpet stains scream each time I walk through
leaving trails of bread crumbs and ashes,
though without you I always find my way back
to those corners in...

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I don't like snakes or spiders,
weak tea or fizzy ciders.
Seats on buses that are slightly damp,
TV presenters who are far too camp.

Jalapeño peppers that are too hot to handle,
or electricity cuts when you can't find...

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I'm pretty sure I know their dirty little secrets 
With Big Brother watching over me 
And what I know you know that I can't keep it
Remember this in case tomorrow I'm history 

U.F.O.' s are...

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Cattle trains are litter trucks. Often noisy and overheated with the balmy sweat oozing from even the tidiest of blazers. Business break time then. All swap. All buy. Bring and buy. Before bells and buzzer....

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Lost Art

There was a time
when we waited eagerly
for the mailman -
when mail deliveries 
had actual mail in them
 
There were real 
hand-written letters 
from parents,
cousins, children, friends,
maybe a lover,
perhaps birthday cards 
or get-well wishes
or postcards...

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An erotic lettuce leaf. Strip. Then consume. Consumption of consummation is quite colourful in a layered green hue. But how often barbarians liberate barbeques with a token. How quite unfortunate for a flame to flambé....

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I have departed from the hectic..
Disgusted with the hustle and bustle..
My life consisted of force of habit..
Unpleasant habits..
Rituals..
Of which I was absorbed..
Absorbed in routine..
Routine became..
Of only doing..

Doing..
Not truly wanting..
Not truly feeling
Feelings of no satisfaction..
Feelings of...

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Forwarding Address 
                                ...

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I could care less about 
getting a haircut or 
finding hair color to 
dye my nappy roots
So what my nails need
a fill and my feet look like
I've been walking on eggshells
and frustration
I don't give a...

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The Hoarder

By Elton Camp

The clutter in her house grows every day
For Agnes can’t throw anything away

Cardboard boxes, plastic bags, junk mail
All of them are stored away by the bale

Stuff that Agnes picked up on the...

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There is no law that says that I must keep a Twitter page
and write on it my actions of each and every day
There is no law to force me to answer my telephone
Or even to...

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Arrogance fostered by entitlement
Bigotry in all its forms
Conceit beyond all reasonable norms
Demanding attitude of deferment.
Entitlement, did I mention this?
Forgetting an appointment, indeed
Goofing off on an hourly-wage job
Hearing a disapproving sarcastic hiss.
Intelligence wasted in a trivial...

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Good news, bad news – more coming each day
Seems my neighbors keep me duly informed
About someone younger recently passing away.

I hear about the children being born deformed
Someone thinks I’d be their perfect officiant
Seems my neighbors...

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Hi. You are a great man.
I am very little about computers and the Net.
Stuck in computers, Me in everything helps my girlfriend. I was born 200 years before new late,
the white moon of today.
My girl...

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SPRING GARDEN PREPARATION (20150213)

After the winter season
But before the rains begin
Catalogues of heirloom seeds
Delivered just in time
Earmarked and prioritized
Farmer’s Almanac consulted
Given planting periods
Horoscopes included (but useless!)
Individual seed varieties ordered
Junk mail shredded and added to compost
K...

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Matt is a freakishly neat male
His kitchen is spotlessly clean
Almost made his date Dot want to bail
Clutter free to her is utterly obscene.

To live here would feel like jail.
Matt felt it was amazingly keen.
His minimalism...

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I went out to the mailbox to get today's mail, 
    Mixed in with the same household bills and trivial 
      Junk mail, was a padded vanilla...

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