Beats the Hell Outa Me
I don't like snakes or spiders,
weak tea or fizzy ciders.
Seats on buses that are slightly damp,
TV presenters who are far too camp.
Jalapeño peppers that are too hot to handle,
or electricity cuts when you can't find a candle.
Rudeness in people who should know better,
or junk mail when you’re waiting for just one letter.
Politicians who lie when they’re moving their lips,
or women who sigh at the size of their hips.
Newsreaders not giving news but opinions,
Snobs looking down on others as minions.
Bankers and loan sharks who advertise on the ‘box’,
using singing and dancing and smiles, just to fox.
Small print that says ‘not actual game play’,
when trying to screw you for a month of your pay.
Charities who’s bosses earn thousands of bucks,
and pop stars preserving the planet, that sucks.
Celebrities who whine about their country of birth,
from their tax haven mansions, always causes mirth.
Political correctness never fails to make me tense,
whatever happened to good old common sense?
Blessed are the meek, as we are so often told,
seems to me the good stuff always goes to the bold.
If I’ve not mentioned anything that’s your pet hate,
don’t hold your breath, it’s never too late.
Stick it in a comment on Poetry Soup,
so we can all groan, or give a loud ‘Whoop!’.
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