Long Culpa Poems
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MEA CULPA(CA)
It was an auspicious occasion;
The wedding of the year.
And, afterwards, the guests murmured
Aaah!
When I told them how,
At our very first meeting
I had fallen for your allure.
So how, after so few years
Has everything gone awry?
How has love turned to anguish?
You don’t need to answer.
I know you have no appetency
For discussion.
The fault is mine alone.
Nothing can assuage the guilt I feel
At my atrocious betrayal.
It happened only once,
And I was drunk.
But that does not absolve me
From responsibility.
I cling to the hope
You will one day forgive me.
I love you.
20th October 2019
Crazy A's contest
Sponsor John Hamilton
__________________________
The poem title in Latin acts as an admission of guilt, but by the end of the sonnet it transforms into an empowerment statement: If it is my fault, then it is also within my power to change it. The sonnet was inspired by the Brihad Aranyaka Upanishad (IV.4.5). It establishes a causal chain (human desire, freewill, action, and destiny) that shows destiny is not arbitrary like a random script written by the stars. It is a direct crop grown from the ‘karmic seed called deed’.
_____________________
The scriptures warn: beware of destiny,
But deep within I am my wildest wish,
Desires shape how my will’s resolve will be,
Which guides the deeds my soul loves to unleash---
My fortune’s fertile ground, and greenest lea.
I still rejoice should fate fetch me fair cheers,
For ‘tis not fate, man alone is mighty,
Yet, I bemoan if it should bring me tears.
Let me then know how should my life I lead,
Not by the stars whose own fate rests unknown,
If fate favours the karmic seed called deed,
Then all things boil down to my rigid bone.
All of my destined moments born as now,
To my own thoughts and acts of the past bow.
____________________________
Introspection | 01.05.2014, revised September 2026|deed, destiny/fate, desire, spiritual, Sonnet
Note: The Roman transliteration and translation of the verse quoted are:
...sa yatha kamo bhavati tat kratur bhavati |
yat kratur bhavati tat karma kurute |
yat karma kurute tad abhi-sampadyate ||
You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
"Triomphant"
Mea Culpa
Latin two words
a wrong turn
move forwards
Lux Vitae
Latin two words
shower me with Your Love
Your Light I move towards
Amor Vincit Omnia
Roman Poet Virgil
Message to the young girl
Secret Communiqué Love is plural
Jeanne d’Arc
Triomphant
(Lovejoy-Burton/Feb 2018)
"On the darkest days, when I feel inadequate, unloved and unworthy, I remember whose daughter I am and I straighten my crown".
(GVLM.K.M.L.)
“Rome is not outside me, but inside me. Her feverish sweetness, her tragic countryside, her own beauty and harmony, all these are mine, for my thought and my work.”
Amedeo Modigliani
Yahweh’s image! The crown of creation!
Did Adam and Eve wish to test their might?
The serpent’s luring words of elation
soon deprived them of the angelic light
Sins of omission and commission thrived.
Friends became foes. Siblings became strangers.
To earn their living, each being strived.
Each day dawned with life-threatening dangers.
The prophets, saints, and martyrs came to save
the fallen humans from the wicked death
and lead them far from the brinks of the grave
Didn't the creation yearn for rebirth?
Weren't these ways paved for the incarnation
to cause, here on earth, true transformation?
We quarreled to bitter, burning degrees
(you)loving me
as a tender trespasser
a chew toy
boy
demanding compliance
forced feedings
down
to sock selection
(your)conspicuous usage of chlorine
blistering eyes
a woman my mother may have idolized
(your)disciplined hemlines
entirely circumspect
subtracting the abusements
how (your)words struck, in the rage of an enemy fire
and less, the undisturbed lust after hog's feet
I was heading for America
a better sow to plow
with spangly blue eyes
and ruddy virtue brimming inside her countenance
out of the despicable cold,
The harpy's fury
(you)poked at my shortness
magnified my retardations
I was a crouching slug in (your)supercilious shadows
Understanding I couldn't swim
as all the world knows
any banal fact
for example, water is wet
and a million times (your)augur's ball
pronounced death by sea
little legs shall not be inclined to desert the scalding Egyptian sands
was it (your)psychosis or mine ... doubts dressed as destiny?
I missed the exodus of the unsinkable ship.
The Titanic horn tolled whilst she distanced,
the mocking tintinnabulation
of elegiac bells.
Some time ago, when we were free to do;
ten I was, or twelve?
I walked along a misty lane to school
the etched patterns of ferns and trees
on my window when I awoke
now echoed in the frozen grass
and early ferns
being gently crushed
by each step I took.
The sun had begun its morning due
to warm the earth,
and generate the day's miasma mist;
as did the breathing of the gathering crowd,
which hung upon the hedge
of privet, hawthorn, yew,
to rest upon a thousand spider webs
a myriad of droplets dew.
And there it was
the spider
fat and yellow;
waiting.
Not in the shadows,
as the others I had seen
but, eight legs akimbo
in the centre of it's now opaque web
taunting.
I had a cricket in a matchbox
in my pocket
A prize from yesterday's
sweet forage.
I placed the wriggling insect
upon the web and watched
the attack
the bite
the wrap.
And so I write
Last night I heard you
through the walls
crying
and muttering some
It broke my heart
I had forgotten for a moment
Your world is not ours
your understanding
different
confusion is the normal state
it breaks your heart
I had forgotten for a moment
You have been doing so well
making new friends
independent
like everyone else
It healed my heart
I had forgotten for a moment
Life is still overwhelming
and the little things
trigger
major reactions
that break our hearts
I had forgotten for a moment
You still need me to show you
how to express emotion
guiding
through turmoil
of a broken heart
I had forgotten for a moment
Mea culpa
je mi lito
lo siento
I’m sorry
Jscervenka 5/12/15
je mi lito= I'm sorry (Czech)
lo siento= I'm sorry (Spanish)
Written a week or so ago for my son with high functioning autism.
Always polite she has done it again and again
Kind apologies in apoplectic reverberations
‘I am ever so sorry’ and never an honest lie
‘I promise mea culpa won’t happen again’
Regret is never far from her mindful tongue
‘My fault entirely just slipped out of my mouth’
‘Please forgive me my hurtful transgressions’
‘I beg you’ she lays prostrate before the crowd
Remonstrates with her own disagreements
Expostulates her lips into new held resolve
She used to be a passionate people pleaser
Self-talk might help to absolve further pardons
27th April 2019
I believe that each of us lives a predestined life, one that has been arranged and organized for continuity. We are oblivious to such effects as we live out our lives accordingly, as ordered by the power that be. Anything beyond the preordained structural perimeter is deemed by its nature as, chaos and mayhem. Why would such an intrusion be thought to bear negative qualities?
Why? The fact of the matter is that it was never part of the planned destiny. Yet, those intrusions -- are a part of the grand scheme of life.
I saw a penny on the ground
Picked it up from whence it was found
It's odd how things happen your way
Be it some sign needs to convey
Like some omen, trolls to condemn
Or a lucky coin that's a gem
Be it my destined mystery
Or truth, my fate, reality
Could there be what-ifs or what-not's
or maybe vague thoughts midst hot spots
Would be my future or my past
or maybe the worst or the best
A tragedy, a comedy
I wonder which would play for me
An unexpected source affects
it plagues the mind my view reflects
A random process, here or there
a sudden surprise from thin air
This is something out of the blue
be it a lie or be it true
Would that penny cause mea culpa
that circumstances we conjure
To fill the gap, that certain void
speaking riddles, answers like Freud
An accidental incident
some sordid act made impotent
The knowledge I possess today
bound my foothold the righteous way
And all of that wealth I had learned
life is won by which we discern
"Look, man in need, a coin be found!"
I lost mine, 'twas a choice ... profound
By chance, the coin's past owner
was a spontaneous donor.
Hapless Hank severed a leg just below the knee,
When usin' a chainsaw heedlessly, you see!
He sued claimin' that it was a defective saw,
And hired an attorney to check the law.
"I've reviewed the statutes and I can't take yer case.
I'd recommend you plead mea culpa to save face."
"If yer case was heard by a judge it would rile his fury,
And I ain't about to bring such a case before a jury!"
"My law firm has determined that yer case is mighty weak.
Sorry, Hank, you ain't got a leg to stand on, so to speak!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved