Long Crackpot Poems

                I
Listen up and I’ll tell
              you...

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THE TRUMPIST VOTE: A satirical Persian poem and its English translation, by the poet himself.

POST / SHARE / FORWARD / PUBLISH (with attribution--please)

NOTE: In addition to this translated poem, to see some of Moji Agha's...

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LOST IN BRITAIN

Poling, Patching, Nether Wallop, 
Matching Tye and Droop

Plumpton, Lickfold, Puddletown, 
Westward Ho! and Throop.

Hole of Horcum, New Invention,
Boghead, Frome, Cat's Ash

North Piddle, Staines and Pen*stone,
Wash Dyke, East Breast and Flash.

Six Mile Bottom, Mudford...

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Trump Poems and Epigrams VI


Trump’s Retribution Resolution
by Michael R. Burch

My New Year’s resolution?
I require your money and votes,
for you are my retribution.

May I offer you dark-skinned scapegoats
and bigger and deeper moats
as part of my sweet...

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The best sports poems by Michael R. Burch, Part IV

King Henry the Great
by Michael R. Burch

Long live the King! 
Send him victorious, 
happy and glorious, 
long to reign over us: 
Long live the King! 

Long...

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I arrived, quite by chance, in the Valley of Lissing
‘Twas a land of plenty—Only color was missing

Except, that is, for the magnificent jewels
That gleamed like dazzling, glistening pools

Sapphire blue, emerald-green; what a magical feast for...

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A Rift in Time

By Elton Camp

	Henry Higgins, B.A., M.A. Ph.D., graduate in physics from the Massachusetts Institution of Technology, is missing.  Born August 8, 1950, he was thought of as a genius by some,...

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In the beginning ...," roosts; 
            Christians and Jewish boosts.



              ...

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The other members of the group would tease Lambent Shroud.
They’d speak in groans n puns too.
You’d sense lambent was a little uncomfortable with it all.
The other members of this amazing group were all tall, had...

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Listen to my story, familiar, I’m sure,
Listen to it, yes, I’m afraid, insecure.
With all that is, the masked thief,
If you listen, it is the whisper deep in the trees,
The gossiping dust devil spinning around town,
Just...

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Do you think we’re emotionally compatible?
What crackpot class have you joined now.
I'm taking a holistic course.
Why don’t you go and have an affair, you’ll feel better.
No, listen, I want inside your mind.
You don’t, take my...

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Lunatic, Touched,
                                 ...

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I met a chap in an English pub and asked from whence he came.
"Harumph! I hail from Piddlehinton", he pompously did proclaim!
"And you sir?", he asked and I proudly puffed out my chest.
"I come from...

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THE DUMB BLONDE 

Our dumb blonde leader is a total buffoon
Living in cloud cuckoo land in his cocoon
His party's starved our N. H. S. 
Now the country is in a mess 
Thinks the flu virus...

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I pored over my weather maps contriving a prognostication,
Of the weather forecast for the consumption of the British population.
It comprised all the towns, villages and shires from A to Zed,
To include the burgs of Wookey...

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You've heard it said?
All's fair in love and war!

Well,
most ethicists,
even war-mongering philosophers,
disagree with the "All's fair in war" part,

As do just everyday Earth-patriotic folks
who loyally prefer not to be bombed 
and automatically rifled
just because some...

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"I have enough fight in me,to devour the world!"
              Zorba the Greek Movie
                ...

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Who would lay claim to know, 
The greatest story ever told,
Perhaps Homer Simpson Doh! 
For none else is so bold. 

It would take a mere simpleton, 
With the mind of Crusty Clown,
Best he’d come up...

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fine lines sketched into my mirror
how did they get there? weathering
the decades, furrowed brow, creased
eyes with bags am i an old bag -
nonsense.

the mirror crack'd with an angry
whiplash i had to take a look
at my...

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The day after Christmas I really can't wait
The day it's all over - my one favourite date
The months of piped carol's wherever I go
I swear I'll go mad at the next "ho ho ho"

I need...

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Challenge the thoughts of today and you'll be labeled a nut,
A hundred years from now you'll be praised as a great figure in history.
Those who will only cheer the Status quo serve humanity a great...

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It’s been another bad day with the slots,
looks like I was the only one with the “Hots!”
The machine stared back with complete onus,
I put another Benjamin in and still no bonus.

This scene repeats itself time...

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No time for cheer
To sparkle clear


Quirky and queer 
Strain far and near


Works shade and sneer
Prelude to fear


There is high costs
To spiral cause


Noise voids sound thought
In impaled lot


Let loose odd gain
For truth lies slain


A mad deluge
To...

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He was nuttier than a fruitcake, 
He ate dry fruits, and candied fruits.
Some thought he was a screwball.
But from the likes of things.
He was very normal.
At least, I thought he was.

After a day on the...

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"Monet's paintings are best seen from afar than close up," ... by Poet.

Faraway the figment, like Monet the pigment,
the brother so gallant, how he flaunts his talent,
he paints at a farness, like a horse to...

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