Christmas Should Be Banned

The day after Christmas I really can't wait The day it's all over - my one favourite date The months of piped carol's wherever I go I swear I'll go mad at the next "ho ho ho" I need a lone island to hermit away That has a no fly zone for Santa's red sleigh And stay there for autumn (that's "fall" in the states) With Scrooge and the Grinch - both soul and house mates We'd ban Christmas trees - we'd ban fairy lights We'd add tinsel bans to the State's Bill of Rights We'd start a campaign to ban Christmas cheer We'd ban Christmas spirit and wine and all beers We'd change Christmas lyrics to raise merry hell Except for that jingle where Batman does smell We'd steal all the crackers with cheap paper hats And plastic bum presents with jokes that fall flat We think that's the total - we've covered all bases We'd grumble and humbug to remove Xmas traces But what's that someone's shouted? What's that I can hear? Some cheerful old crackpot said "Happy New Year" (Entry to "the day after Christmas" contest - 21st December 2016)