English Weather Forecast

I pored over my weather maps contriving a prognostication, Of the weather forecast for the consumption of the British population. It comprised all the towns, villages and shires from A to Zed, To include the burgs of Wookey Hole, Wyre Piddle and Guys Head! The towns of Crazies Hill and Cuckoo's Nest could expect clear skies, Nasty, Mucking and Mousehole were included in this surmise. Rain bode for Scrooby, Spital, Tiptoe and Brian's Puddle, Ugley, Ramsbottom, Fitchfield and the village of Affpuddle. Hail would visit the towns of Piddlehinton, Diddlebury and Pill, Sots Hole, Inkpen, Birdlip, Scagglethorpe and Toot Hill. I warned Catbrain, Clock Face and Daffy Green to expect sleet. That also included Giggleswick, Kibblesworth and Cackle Street. Broadbottom, Muggleswick and Barking were to be aware of fog, As well as Yelling, Wigglesworth, Slaggyford and Black Dog. Scattered clouds were billed for Crackpot, Beer and Fairy Cross, And for the areas of Fugglestone, Great Snoring and Balls Dross. Beanacre, Fatfield, Wham and Jump could expect some light snow. Raging gales I predicted for Lickey End and Harrowbarrow. Conditions change in minutes in High Brooms and Frog Pool. I dare not divine weather for those blokes, 'cause I'm nobody's fool!