Tom Cunningham Poet Limerick

A Rant and a Few Laughs

THE DUMB BLONDE 

Our dumb blonde leader is a total buffoon
Living in cloud cuckoo land in his cocoon
His party's starved our N. H. S. 
Now the country is in a mess 
Thinks the flu virus will be over real soon... 

OUR CRACKPOT GOVERNMENT 

They wanted to create herd immunity 
Run covid - 19 through our community
Now that's a war crime 
They should all do time 
Par for the course, they'd all get impunity... 

(ON A LIGHTER Note) 

TIMMMY MCGEE 

There was an old man called Timmy McGee
Every day he'd drink a gallon of tea
One night forgot to do
His business on the loo
He woke up floating next morning in pee... 

HAPPY BUCK

There was an old man known as Happy Buck 
Loved loud music but he ran out of luck
Had earphones in each ear
Poor old Buck didn't hear
Approaching sound of a thirty ton truck... 

JED THE KEEPER

At the zoo a big cat keeper called Jed
Instead of meat tried to give them stale bread
They roared in defiance 
Poor Jed lost his balance 
One saw his chance and bit off his head...

BILLY GILL

The  dumb outlaws led by Billy Joe Gill
Bank and train robbery they had no skill
They tried to leave town
But they were tracked down
Now they all lie in a plot on Boot Hill... 





Written 2nd April 2020.

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

1 2

Sara Kendrick August 26, 2024 at 3:33 AM I watch some the dumbest criminals on TV sometimes. It is amazing at what they do that is captured on store surveillance cameras or other cameras. It makes me wonder why they would even think they could get away with any criminal activity. I watched a woman in a store one time put a shopping bag on the counter of the jewelry section of the store and ask the clerk to show her this and that which were locked up and when the clerk turned her back, she stuck one of the items in the bag. Got away. SK Tom Cunningham August 26, 2024 at 4:23 AM Thank you very much Sara, the cheek of some people, and because of theft everyone has to pay more insurance. Tom

Timothy Hicks May 12, 2020 at 11:59 AM You're good at the limerick form (such unfortunate ends for each ... but what can one say? Pain can be funny). I'm a little partial to Timmy McGee, but ... might be a little bias going on there. The first two limericks were also good (fitting for the times, for sure), but in my personal opinion, I think limericks should stay lighthearted. Tom Cunningham May 12, 2020 at 12:18 PM Thanks Timothy, Glad you liked them, I think of an idea, wouldnt write about a real situation, they say that they're allowed to be bawdy but you got to be careful not to cross the lines of decency, Never wrote one until I joined soup. Tom

Caren Krutsinger April 30, 2020 at 7:51 AM Boot Hill! I had simply forgotten that term; this is going to inspire a poem for sure! Tom Cunningham April 30, 2020 at 10:02 AM Thanks Caren, now that's a thought. Tom

Kai Michael Neumann April 26, 2020 at 6:11 AM Very funny. Take care, Kai Tom Cunningham April 26, 2020 at 6:56 AM Thank you Kai, glad you enjoyed them. Tom

Kenneth Cheney April 17, 2020 at 7:52 AM Very entertaining. Got a great chuckle from these. Thanks. Tom Cunningham April 17, 2020 at 10:46 AM Thanks Kenneth, we all need a bit of humour at the moment. Stay safe Tom

Eileen Manassian April 17, 2020 at 4:10 AM Now this comment is sincere... loved the one about Buck. Won't comment on the buffoon, except to say... you got that right!! Thanks for thre chuckle and your visit to my poem. Tom Cunningham April 17, 2020 at 10:46 AM Thanks Eileen, glad you enjoyed them, nothing beats a bit of humour in these dark times. Stay safe. Tom

Richard Lamoureux April 15, 2020 at 9:17 AM You stay safe as well Tom. These were fun to reread. Tom Cunningham April 15, 2020 at 10:19 AM Thank you very much Richard, and you too. Tom

JC Brul April 13, 2020 at 6:07 PM Here's to wish you a warm and safe day dear poet Tom. This chaos shall pass. Tom Cunningham April 14, 2020 at 2:47 AM Thank you JC, hopefully we'll all be over the worst of it in the coming weeks ahead. Stay safe. Tom

Harry Horsman April 12, 2020 at 8:43 PM Such fun and aptly needed in these times, Tom. Thanks Mate, Stay Safe.. Tom Cunningham April 12, 2020 at 8:58 PM Thanks Harry, you too. Tom

Andrea Dietrich April 12, 2020 at 5:22 PM Just here to wish you Happy Easter, my friend. Don't have a lot of time today, but I hope all is well for you. Tom Cunningham April 12, 2020 at 5:57 PM Thank you Andrea, It's been very quiet without the family but thankfully we are all OK. I hope that you and yours are keeping safe. Happy Easter. Tom

Mystic Rose Rose April 12, 2020 at 6:27 AM A prayer for a Happy Easter full of health and love is being sent your way dear poet friend. Thank you. Tom Cunningham April 12, 2020 at 6:47 AM Thank you very much Pixie, wishing you too a very happy Easter. Tom

Connie Marcum Wong April 12, 2020 at 4:42 AM Your limericks are always such fun to read Tom. Thanks for the laughter my friend. Easter Blessings. xxoo Tom Cunningham April 12, 2020 at 6:45 AM Thank you Connie, hope you too have a happy Easter. Tom

Silent One April 12, 2020 at 4:38 AM They all seem like rants to me lol. What a mess that idiot has made.. He acted to slowly, then he said take it on the chin.. now he has another publicity stunt going on... sad times... the NHS is a mess and his govt is to blame.. Ive heard so many sad stories of patients having little care.. etc... hope you are well.. enjoyed your lims. Tom Cunningham April 12, 2020 at 6:44 AM Thanks S. O., hope alls OK with you. They've slashed the NHS. I hope he remembers how the NHS saved his life People saying give NHS a medal when this is over. I say give them a decent wage, medals don't put food on the table. Still many without ppe, it's a disgrace, a doctor pleaded with the government for ppe, sadly he's since died. Happy Easter. Tom

Ann Gilmour April 11, 2020 at 5:56 PM Just what the doctor ordered, laughter is the best medicine, so thank you Tom for the laughter... With kindest thoughts Ann xx Tom Cunningham April 12, 2020 at 6:40 AM Thank you Ann, hope youre keeping OK, beautiful day here, so glad I have a garden. Happy Easter. Tom

Anne-Lise Andresen April 11, 2020 at 12:08 PM - Thank you, Tom ... today's dose of smiling vitamins ... Enjoy Easter and stay healthy, my friend :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Tom Cunningham April 11, 2020 at 12:16 PM Thank you Anne, hope alls well with your new house. Hope you too have a happy and safe Easter. Tom

Winged Warrior April 11, 2020 at 8:52 AM Much needed relief my friend...they are all excellent Tommy boy...all the best and stay safe...I'm sure you are...the Wingster :o) Tom Cunningham April 11, 2020 at 9:57 AM Thank you W. W., glad you liked them. Hope you too stay safe and well. Tom

CayCay Godwin April 10, 2020 at 4:08 PM You entertained me, moved me and thoroughly occupied me with these much needed and generously served limericks! Poetry hugs ... CayCay Tom Cunningham April 11, 2020 at 9:54 AM Thank you Cay Cay, I'm happy you enjoyed them. Hope you're keeping well. Stay safe. Tom

Cecilia Macfarlane April 8, 2020 at 5:49 PM Hahaha, Awesome limericks Tom. Laughter is the best. Thanks for these. Hugs Tom Cunningham April 9, 2020 at 5:02 AM Thank you Cecilia, glad you enjoyed them. Happy Easter to you. Tom

Rercy Zola-Zaba April 7, 2020 at 1:46 PM A well needed laugh for times like this, really creative Tom.Thank you for the share and keep infecting us with that laugh bug it's one we won't wish for to disappear. Be blessed and safe! Tom Cunningham April 7, 2020 at 2:14 PM Thanks Rercy, nothing beats humour especially at a time like this, hope you're OK. Stay safe and well. Tom

Eve Roper April 7, 2020 at 1:17 PM Tom, great lyrics I love the first two. Our government is really in stew with that bond baboon. Stay well my friend Eve Roper April 24, 2020 at 11:32 AM This people that don't have any credentials for running for a government sit need to have a laws enforced psychiatry mental illness & criminal background check. :) Tom Cunningham April 7, 2020 at 2:12 PM Thank you Eve, they didn't want to act too soon in case the economy suffered, it will suffer a lot more now. We in the UK are lions led by donkeys. Tom

Caren Krutsinger April 7, 2020 at 2:51 AM Hilarity has never been more welcome in the world than today; so thank you for this my friend! Keep them coming! Tom Cunningham April 7, 2020 at 10:00 AM Thanks Caren, you're right, humour has never been more welcome. Hope you're well. If you want more limericks check out Jan's recent collaboration. Some bawdy ones too lol. Stay safe. Tom

Andrea Dietrich April 6, 2020 at 4:28 PM timmy, Buck and Jed. Those three for me were hilarious, Tom. Thanks for the giggles!!! Tom Cunningham April 6, 2020 at 6:39 PM Thanks Andrea, hope you and yours well. Stay safe. Tom

Jennifer Proxenos April 5, 2020 at 12:19 PM Oh Tom thank you - you are an absolute star on soup - thank-you for making us laugh - don't know which one I like best because I like them all so much Blessings, Jennifer Tom Cunningham April 5, 2020 at 12:44 PM Thank you very much, Jennifer, yesterday Jan started a collaboration of limericks, check it out you'll enjoy the collection. Stay safe. Tom

Richard Lamoureux April 4, 2020 at 5:06 PM Most entertaining! Well done Tom. Tom Cunningham April 5, 2020 at 5:01 AM Thank you Richard, humour helps in these dark times. Stay safe. Tom

Alexis Y. April 4, 2020 at 10:16 AM Lol! Tom, I really enjoyed your string of limericks. I agree with Pixie, you have a great sense of humor. Have a wonderful weekend my friend;-) Alexis Tom Cunningham April 4, 2020 at 11:10 AM Thanks Alexis, it's helping to keep me sane lol. Enjoy your weekend. Tom

1 2