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A Rant and a Few Laughs

THE DUMB BLONDE 

Our dumb blonde leader is a total buffoon
Living in cloud cuckoo land in his cocoon
His party's starved our N. H. S. 
Now the country is in a mess 
Thinks the flu virus will be over real soon... 

OUR CRACKPOT GOVERNMENT 

They wanted to create herd immunity 
Run covid - 19 through our community
Now that's a war crime 
They should all do time 
Par for the course, they'd all get impunity... 

(ON A LIGHTER Note) 

TIMMMY MCGEE 

There was an old man called Timmy McGee
Every day he'd drink a gallon of tea
One night forgot to do
His business on the loo
He woke up floating next morning in pee... 

HAPPY BUCK

There was an old man known as Happy Buck 
Loved loud music but he ran out of luck
Had earphones in each ear
Poor old Buck didn't hear
Approaching sound of a thirty ton truck... 

JED THE KEEPER

At the zoo a big cat keeper called Jed
Instead of meat tried to give them stale bread
They roared in defiance 
Poor Jed lost his balance 
One saw his chance and bit off his head...

BILLY GILL

The  dumb outlaws led by Billy Joe Gill
Bank and train robbery they had no skill
They tried to leave town
But they were tracked down
Now they all lie in a plot on Boot Hill... 





Written 2nd April 2020.

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Sara Kendrick Date: 8/26/2024 3:33:00 AM I watch some the dumbest criminals on TV sometimes. It is amazing at what they do that is captured on store surveillance cameras or other cameras. It makes me wonder why they would even think they could get away with any criminal activity. I watched a woman in a store one time put a shopping bag on the counter of the jewelry section of the store and ask the clerk to show her this and that which were locked up and when the clerk turned her back, she stuck one of the items in the bag. Got away. SK Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 8/26/2024 4:23:00 AM Thank you very much Sara, the cheek of some people, and because of theft everyone has to pay more insurance. Tom

Timothy Hicks Date: 5/12/2020 11:59:00 AM You're good at the limerick form (such unfortunate ends for each ... but what can one say? Pain can be funny). I'm a little partial to Timmy McGee, but ... might be a little bias going on there. The first two limericks were also good (fitting for the times, for sure), but in my personal opinion, I think limericks should stay lighthearted. Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 5/12/2020 12:18:00 PM Thanks Timothy, Glad you liked them, I think of an idea, wouldnt write about a real situation, they say that they're allowed to be bawdy but you got to be careful not to cross the lines of decency, Never wrote one until I joined soup. Tom

Caren Krutsinger Date: 4/30/2020 7:51:00 AM Boot Hill! I had simply forgotten that term; this is going to inspire a poem for sure! Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/30/2020 10:02:00 AM Thanks Caren, now that's a thought. Tom

Kai Michael Neumann Date: 4/26/2020 6:11:00 AM Very funny. Take care, Kai Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/26/2020 6:56:00 AM Thank you Kai, glad you enjoyed them. Tom

Kenneth Cheney Date: 4/17/2020 7:52:00 AM Very entertaining. Got a great chuckle from these. Thanks. Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/17/2020 10:46:00 AM Thanks Kenneth, we all need a bit of humour at the moment. Stay safe Tom

Eileen Manassian Date: 4/17/2020 4:10:00 AM Now this comment is sincere... loved the one about Buck. Won't comment on the buffoon, except to say... you got that right!! Thanks for thre chuckle and your visit to my poem. Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/17/2020 10:46:00 AM Thanks Eileen, glad you enjoyed them, nothing beats a bit of humour in these dark times. Stay safe. Tom

Richard Lamoureux Date: 4/15/2020 9:17:00 AM You stay safe as well Tom. These were fun to reread. Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/15/2020 10:19:00 AM Thank you very much Richard, and you too. Tom

JCB Brul Date: 4/13/2020 6:07:00 PM Here's to wish you a warm and safe day dear poet Tom. This chaos shall pass. Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/14/2020 2:47:00 AM Thank you JC, hopefully we'll all be over the worst of it in the coming weeks ahead. Stay safe. Tom

Harry Horsman Date: 4/12/2020 8:43:00 PM Such fun and aptly needed in these times, Tom. Thanks Mate, Stay Safe.. Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/12/2020 8:58:00 PM Thanks Harry, you too. Tom

Andrea Dietrich Date: 4/12/2020 5:22:00 PM Just here to wish you Happy Easter, my friend. Don't have a lot of time today, but I hope all is well for you. Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/12/2020 5:57:00 PM Thank you Andrea, It's been very quiet without the family but thankfully we are all OK. I hope that you and yours are keeping safe. Happy Easter. Tom

Mystic Rose Rose Date: 4/12/2020 6:27:00 AM A prayer for a Happy Easter full of health and love is being sent your way dear poet friend. Thank you. Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/12/2020 6:47:00 AM Thank you very much Pixie, wishing you too a very happy Easter. Tom

Connie Marcum Wong Date: 4/12/2020 4:42:00 AM Your limericks are always such fun to read Tom. Thanks for the laughter my friend. Easter Blessings. xxoo Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/12/2020 6:45:00 AM Thank you Connie, hope you too have a happy Easter. Tom

Silent One Date: 4/12/2020 4:38:00 AM They all seem like rants to me lol. What a mess that idiot has made.. He acted to slowly, then he said take it on the chin.. now he has another publicity stunt going on... sad times... the NHS is a mess and his govt is to blame.. Ive heard so many sad stories of patients having little care.. etc... hope you are well.. enjoyed your lims. Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/12/2020 6:44:00 AM Thanks S. O., hope alls OK with you. They've slashed the NHS. I hope he remembers how the NHS saved his life People saying give NHS a medal when this is over. I say give them a decent wage, medals don't put food on the table. Still many without ppe, it's a disgrace, a doctor pleaded with the government for ppe, sadly he's since died. Happy Easter. Tom

Ann Gilmour Date: 4/11/2020 5:56:00 PM Just what the doctor ordered, laughter is the best medicine, so thank you Tom for the laughter... With kindest thoughts Ann xx Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/12/2020 6:40:00 AM Thank you Ann, hope youre keeping OK, beautiful day here, so glad I have a garden. Happy Easter. Tom

Anne-Lise Andresen Date: 4/11/2020 12:08:00 PM - Thank you, Tom ... today's dose of smiling vitamins ... Enjoy Easter and stay healthy, my friend :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/11/2020 12:16:00 PM Thank you Anne, hope alls well with your new house. Hope you too have a happy and safe Easter. Tom

Winged Warrior Date: 4/11/2020 8:52:00 AM Much needed relief my friend...they are all excellent Tommy boy...all the best and stay safe...I'm sure you are...the Wingster :o) Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/11/2020 9:57:00 AM Thank you W. W., glad you liked them. Hope you too stay safe and well. Tom

CayCay Jennings Date: 4/10/2020 4:08:00 PM You entertained me, moved me and thoroughly occupied me with these much needed and generously served limericks! Poetry hugs ... CayCay Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/11/2020 9:54:00 AM Thank you Cay Cay, I'm happy you enjoyed them. Hope you're keeping well. Stay safe. Tom

Cecilia Macfarlane Date: 4/8/2020 5:49:00 PM Hahaha, Awesome limericks Tom. Laughter is the best. Thanks for these. Hugs Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/9/2020 5:02:00 AM Thank you Cecilia, glad you enjoyed them. Happy Easter to you. Tom

Rercy Zola-Zaba Date: 4/7/2020 1:46:00 PM A well needed laugh for times like this, really creative Tom.Thank you for the share and keep infecting us with that laugh bug it's one we won't wish for to disappear. Be blessed and safe! Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/7/2020 2:14:00 PM Thanks Rercy, nothing beats humour especially at a time like this, hope you're OK. Stay safe and well. Tom

Eve Roper Date: 4/7/2020 1:17:00 PM Tom, great lyrics I love the first two. Our government is really in stew with that bond baboon. Stay well my friend Login to Reply Eve Roper Date: 4/24/2020 11:32:00 AM This people that don't have any credentials for running for a government sit need to have a laws enforced psychiatry mental illness & criminal background check. :) Tom Cunningham Date: 4/7/2020 2:12:00 PM Thank you Eve, they didn't want to act too soon in case the economy suffered, it will suffer a lot more now. We in the UK are lions led by donkeys. Tom

Caren Krutsinger Date: 4/7/2020 2:51:00 AM Hilarity has never been more welcome in the world than today; so thank you for this my friend! Keep them coming! Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/7/2020 10:00:00 AM Thanks Caren, you're right, humour has never been more welcome. Hope you're well. If you want more limericks check out Jan's recent collaboration. Some bawdy ones too lol. Stay safe. Tom

Andrea Dietrich Date: 4/6/2020 4:28:00 PM timmy, Buck and Jed. Those three for me were hilarious, Tom. Thanks for the giggles!!! Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/6/2020 6:39:00 PM Thanks Andrea, hope you and yours well. Stay safe. Tom

Jennifer Proxenos Date: 4/5/2020 12:19:00 PM Oh Tom thank you - you are an absolute star on soup - thank-you for making us laugh - don't know which one I like best because I like them all so much Blessings, Jennifer Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/5/2020 12:44:00 PM Thank you very much, Jennifer, yesterday Jan started a collaboration of limericks, check it out you'll enjoy the collection. Stay safe. Tom

Richard Lamoureux Date: 4/4/2020 5:06:00 PM Most entertaining! Well done Tom. Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/5/2020 5:01:00 AM Thank you Richard, humour helps in these dark times. Stay safe. Tom

Alexis Y. Date: 4/4/2020 10:16:00 AM Lol! Tom, I really enjoyed your string of limericks. I agree with Pixie, you have a great sense of humor. Have a wonderful weekend my friend;-) Alexis Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/4/2020 11:10:00 AM Thanks Alexis, it's helping to keep me sane lol. Enjoy your weekend. Tom

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