Long Billiard Poems

Limericks
by Michael R. Burch



Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
"When again, gentle bride?"
"Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied.



The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus,...

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Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a lewd whore from Nantucket
who intended to pee in a bucket;
but...

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Limericks III - Grab Bag

Being a peace activist, I once wrote a limerick in an attempt to stop needless wars:

Of Tetley’s and V-2's
(or "Why Not to Bomb the Brits")
by Michael R. Burch

The English are very...

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I was an avid billiard player for many years, and a very good one, and believe me, these old (and young) HUSTLERS are out there -

         ...

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Fortunately, when I was young, what I perceived - 'my kingdom' - 
spanned - and I'm not kidding you...seven - city - blocks!
But being neither worried about - nor having fully mastered - 
the tricky...

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This is a totally true episode from our 40 years spent collecting antiques -  


You never know for sure what lays ahead in life, my friend…
And here’s a tale I love to tell, and...

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Limericks IV - Donald Trump

The Hair Flap
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

The hair flap was truly a scare:
Trump’s bald as a billiard back there!
The whole nation laughed
At the state of his graft;
Now the...

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It was going to be the best Christmas of the most spectacular, magnificent Christmases in the world.
Certainly, the best one we had ever seen, for Grandma Winslet was coming from England which is big.
She used...

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It was going to be the best Christmas of the most spectacular, magnificent Christmases in the world.Certainly, the best one we had ever seen, for Grandma Winslet was coming from England which is big.
She used...

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Weird "fake" news

This pencil necked geek
did hair thru the long grapevine
actually following false tidbit
originated within imagination i.e. mine,
while stationed at Macbook Pro
laptop - time already inching close

to hour of rise and shine
yikes still no bloody...

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A goose in a noose got loose today. At last. At times he had watched as bodies of his fellow feathers had been brought out of the shed having walked in just fine. On the...

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Am I the Assassin 
        or the Undertaker

                   For Palani...

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he took the paintball on one sunken cheek

it hurt to be lopsided but the anger subsided

          the umpire declared the shot out of bounds

  ...

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The new roves are not like the old,
They purvey an unwieldy aspect
To their elderly kindred folk;
Even on this steep hill forms encroach
Upon an edifice grand of bygone grandeur;

 So to ‘Ghurt Muire’ that Jacobean domain
With...

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Compared with us, the kids today
Too little play and too much weigh.
Alone indoors they snack and sit
And buttons hit, while we stayed fit.

We'd quickly chores and homework do,
Then dash through doors to fun pursue,
To basketballs...

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For every action there is a equal and opposite reaction like the striking of billiard balls but when worlds collide souls in twist and become bonded in ways people would never think. Being behind the...

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Unquotable quotes (More Cricketing Jargon) – IV

A « wide » is a ball aimed by the bowler at some absent-  
   minded fielder.
The « silly-point » is the fielding position so close...

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Athletic angels are analytical and archaic. But dust bombs do not derive from red, yellow, blue and purple shimmer shimmers nor do they derive from green, pink and orange glitter glitters. A hesitation of hue...

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Footprints & more Footprints

Footprints

This morning before the sun reached out
Climbing for its place in the heavens day,
I walked outside to greet it, as is my way
On my beautiful lawn were a lot of bumps,

Turned to...

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Who am I? I am not Fred Flintstone, nor am I Billy Goat Gruff,
And I am not Will Shakespeare, nor a Scotsman named MacDuff;
I am not Tom, I am not Dick, and surely am not...

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It’s one of those days when my stomach is pressing against my chest, and my lungs is playing tick tock toe with its own breath. My adrenaline is running a hundred miles marathon per hour...

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I strolled into the room, real casual you see
I took a look around, one of them was guilty
*Bang* an authoritative door slam sounds in my wake
Dramatic sunglasses removal, in their boots, they will shake 

A...

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she got on about three stops after I did 
I was sure she was conversant in ballet 
by the way she danced up the steps 
and delicately deposited her passage 
into the device next to...

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I have ADD.

Having... what I have's like playing billiards*!
I aim my thoughts
like a cue ball at a stripe**
and hit a solid** color...

It wipes me out!  I forfeit my next shot!
My Critic-of-all-dreams does the thinking,...

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I’d been droving for some months now in the harsh drought ridden outback.
Through the stations of East South Australia and along Strzlecki’s track.       
By the time I reached a...

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