Grandma Winslet and Her Guest

It was going to be the best Christmas of the most spectacular, magnificent Christmases in the world.Certainly, the best one we had ever seen, for Grandma Winslet was coming from England which is big. She used funny words like “shed-ule” for schedule,“loo” for bathroom, and “biscuit” for cookies. She was delightful in other ways as well, and she gave the best hugs, My sister and I had not seen her since we were four and six, and we were now eight and ten. I was the oldest, so had to do the most work prior to arrival; Dot, my sister, was whining because she had to clean one little bathroom. Eye roll. Daddy came in and said “I have an announcement! Mom is getting married!” What? He meant Granny Winslet? Our Granny Winslet? How was that possible? She was OLD; old people do not get married! Mommy said she thought it was “fantastic.” Dot gave me a sideways glance and I growled a bit.“And she will be bringing Bill with her! “He added. Mommy gave him the kind of look Dot had given me. “You mean next week?” He nodded. “I am picking them up from the train station on Friday.” “Where will they…..” Mommy’s voice trailed off. “They are a modern couple,” Daddy told her. “One guest room will be enough.” This made no sense to me at the time, but was said in such a way, I latched onto it and kept it in my dendrite bowl to rehash later when I had turned twenty-two, which is when I finally understood it. I guess it was the voice inflection that made it seem important to my mind. This was 1962 when ten-year-olds from Midwest USA were still naïve.Anyway, with my strict Christian upbringing, and Bible readings every Wednesday, I had no time left to understand other things. Grandma Winslet was the first one in the door on Friday. She began hugging us and kissing us, telling us how beautiful we are, how much she loved us, how much she missed us. She was like a giant puppy on speed. We were whirling and twirling like dervishes, so excited to be the center of attention like this. It did not happen any other time, and it had been years since we had seen this giant slurpy loving puppy. Mommy rolled her eyes at one point, which irritated me. Why can’t she be more like this? More demonstrative? More loving? I blamed her Bible thumping. “Spare the rod, spoil the child.” She liked to use the belt on us, especially me. Some old dude came up to us and greeted us with a fake smile that did not reach his eyes. I immediately despised him. How dare he marry my grandma! What was she thinking? He was cold and mean-looking; he reminded me of the postman, and I had not trusted that guy since I was four and he did not deliver a Valentines card to me from my secret crush. What was Grandma Winslet thinking? She was beautiful with her kind baby blue eyes and her full lipstick-made-up-lips and her fake eyelashes. They had glitter on them today, which fascinated me! I was going to be glamorous and movie-star-like when I got to her ripe old age of fifty-two. Bill looked at least seventy-five. Why was she going to waste her beauty on this old geezer? After a lovely dinner Dot and I played Clue and the adults sat at a table with a bunch of playing cards flung about. They called their game bridge, and it looked boring as heck to me. I was glad to have a Clue game. Bill came over and asked what we were playing. This told me how bright he was. Dot was eager to say, so I took the opportunity to take a peek at her score card which she was dumb enough to put face up instead of face down. This gave me the opportunity to check Billiard Room off my own elimination list. The “couple” stayed for three days, which kind of ruined Christmas for me, because Grandma Winslet no longer belonged to us. She was now “his”. Except for the initial greeting, she seemed to only have time for him. Why had she even come? One night I met her on the way out of the kitchen as I was sneaking a cookie. “You always seem busy,” grandma said to me. “Can we have a bit of a talk?” It was really late, but I did not have school the next day, so we sat on the couch and I told her how I felt. She seemed to understand. She apologized for not spending as much time with me as she could have. She told me how lonely she had been, and how grateful she was to find a good man, and then she gave me the Christmas present of a lifetime. “He is an American, you know, so we will be living only an hour from you after we marry. This means we can see each other any time we want to!” The best news of all, and it took her three days and one night to spill it! My Christmas was compete after that, and I decided to give her groom a chance. He is a really great guy; I can see that now fourteen years and many visits later!