You’re gazing at me,
expecting something I won’t give.
Because I’d rather be,
with anyone else,
than be with you.
Truthfully, I’m never actually
doing what I say I am.
I make up invisible boxes to be
checked with even more
translucent marks,
all to evade your presence.
For all you have said, done,
and driven me to do,
and for all the parts of me you have attacked
I don’t think you actually want me.
I think you’d rather be,
with me when I’m dancing with
a stranger.
Polite, distant, friendly, but never too friendly.
Does this mean,
you want to be a stranger to me?
Don’t want to know all my secrets, plights, fears, aspirations?
You want a filter for roaring waterfall,
but, unfortunately, you’ve bitten the apple,
and already know,
all you hate about me.
But, if you ask me, most apples taste
rather nice.
nothing is added or subtracted;
what you get is what you get,
there’s something dreary
about a terrasse drenched in rain
can’t help but take it personally
like a missed invitation
to an afternoon drink with friends
or a cancelled party
a dull hush lacks warmth
too early or too late
no one at the rendez-vous
no welcoming sunshine
stood up by the host
a final rinse
the rain lets up
the earth on pause
before the sun breaks through
and sets everything on cue
AP: Honorable Mention 2025
In the middle of doing good for someone
Did you ever learn you were being conned?
Or, discover that someone you admired --
[Someone of whom you were very fond]
Was setting you up for a sudden letdown?
You were unable to recognize that ugly smirk
You never picked up on that random frown
So enamored you failed to see beyond, [and]
Before you knew it, some synapse fired
Like a light bulb switching on, it dawned,
And then, you knew the friendship was done.
Written March 17, 2022
[Verso-Rhyme ABCDE-F-EDCBA]
10/14/21
Everything follows you home,
Your skin is denying,
The usual monochrome,
For grip marks applying,
The shell of your catacomb.
Parts are tempted to find out,
The severity of,
Anything I’m forced to doubt,
For the sake of our love,
Entwined in roots yet to sprout.
Gesture or reason won’t sway,
Expel every sentence,
Justifications convey,
Your pleas for repentance,
In the complete wrong way.
You’re useless as a disgrace,
And cliché as lovers,
I don’t need to see a trace,
Your dress barely covers,
Areas that aren’t my place.
This betrayal severs my spine,
My newfound awareness,
Lowers me down from your vine,
And into the bareness,
Of a concrete chalk outline.
Quintain (Sicilian) - Emile Pinet
anxious heart made sick
anticipation postponed—
beware second wave
5/14/2020
Memory of you
Coming to my mind
After some time
In my own world
Forgetting about you
Appreciating everything with you
Right time
Right place
You were something
Almost special
The sweetest one I ever have
Butterfly crush
Making me sweet 16
Finally free to love
With you
The words that pulled me through
Motivating to be
More than I am
Nice and comforting
Wanting to hug you
In my sleep
Thinking of days ahead
Exploring together
Old and grey
If not
At least a good memory
For us to cherish and remember
Smiles and chuckles
But then
Speaking too soon
You hide a secret from me
Making me a fool
Thought
I was the only one
Astonishing
Been treated like nothing happened
Happily carry on
Angst
Hurt
Betrayed
Hating you
No longer special
Wanting you
Out of sight
Out of my life
Sad
This ends tragedically
Every part of you
Ghosted
© Sue Sanzz 2020
Letdown
So many chances so many near misses,
like a promising spring suddenly turning wintery
and killing budding plant life.
Or a storm came and blew away all senses
Turned it into a loathing where success dare not
Intrude like spoiling a dream.
Falling down an ice cavern unable to get up in time
Not trying hard enough, so the dream can live on
Failure is the ultimate goal it does not need to be
Repeated
If there is a breakdown with your car,
chances are, you won't go far.
Off to the side of the road you will stand.
Not one person will lend a helping hand.
You're in bigger trouble without a cell phone.
On some major highways, you can feel very alone.
Dozens of cars whiz by, and they don't care.
There you are standing in the cold winter air.
inspired by another member's poem
Blow out the candles
make a wish, say a prayer
prepare for letdown
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