Letter 'K'
Kaleidoscopic aura kindles the kunstvoll dawn sky,
God's kingly artistry kneaded in the lapis lazuli,
Kissed by the sun, kinesthetic earth feels klutzy,
Light rays knock gently on day's door,
This knockout scene would make anyone kneel
Or keel over in kitschy joy ~
A keen reminder of the glory of the Kingdom to come.
I knocked over another glass of water today
wait
today it was only a bit of water and lots of ice
If I had a nickel for every glass I had knocked over lately
I could refinish my bathroom floor with nickels
I could never trust myself with a glass of juice
Hoping those sticky messes are behind me
Especially grape juice
I won’t even allow that in the house
It stains everything
If I was eleven feet tall
I would happily play basketball
but since I’m a shrimp and can barely run
and not throw a ball, I am not much fun
No one wants me on their team today
Everyone boos when I decide to play
Not on my team! They say with malice
I’d rather have klutzy weird old Alice
I fell over a chair, a table and a TV
Jabberwocky fiddlesticks, I am klutzy old me!
Hit my head on the table, knocked myself out on the floor.
I do not believe I can be trusted to walk any more.
Yesterday was a tough day
A Headache day
a Klutzy day
a delete an important email day
a delete a poem I hadn't saved day
a brain fog on migraine meds kind of day
a trumble down a few stairs kind of day
a missed Orchestra kind of day
but Today will be a better day
Starting off with determination for a fresh, new day!
Black cat, who blends with the night
Who’s blur conquered my fears at twilight
A gorgeous being, a witches trusting companion
Please guide me on the path to wisdom
Reveal your secrets, show me the way
Take me along to a better day
Black cat, who moves ever so freely
Will you take me on your shadowed journey
I follow you in hopes of luck
I trust you with every nickel and buck
I strive to understand your essence
Such as how you perch on that fence
Black cat, you are lovely
I have never seen you as klutzy
You are so pretty
Santa Claus was bellowing, things were wacked,
the giant red sleigh was packed,
the reindeer weren't harnessed up,
he stomped in the snow, broke his cocoa cup.
Suddenly, there in the far end of the barn,
what he saw caused alarm,
Rudolph was playing poker,
he was blitzed, being a joker.
Santa's face was beet red,
"Rudolph, get harnessed for the sled!"
Well, Rudolph was lit up in the wrong way,
and slurred his words to disrespectfully say.
"Hey Santa, I'm not freezing my jingle bells,
in the sky tonight, I'm in a drunken spell,"
Morty, the klutzy moose was at the barn door,
"Santa, my fellow moose and I will get you off the floor!"
And, by golly, they took the sleigh into the night,
a team of moose led by Morty's benevolent might,
Christmas Eve was saved,
and Rudolph and his team were in shame.
Santa forgave them in a few days,
because they began to go to AA,
and, in the following New Year,
they were once again Santa's favorite reindeer!
If I had a star in my pocket
I don’t know if I would say a word;
Perhaps a smile and just let it shine;
When I’m klutzy just make a quick wish;
Keep a little fuel from that rocket
as strands of cosmos hurl me forward.
Gobble
Gobble gobble,
that's what they say,
nearly every day...
I go out to greet them.
I go out to meet them.
I go out to feed them,
I need them,
as they make me laugh.
They are clumsy they are klutzy,
they are ballerinas in training too.
I mean to tell you...
all
about
them.
They have long necks,
and big feet,
not to mention
they will eat...
everything you don't want them to,
and nothing that you do.
The silly birds...
ride around on the goats.
They are like parade floats.
They walk in the water trays,
and swim in the trough.
I tell you turkeys over chickens
are a little off.
Wringing Withering Words
Rhymes Remotely Rhetoric
Inherently Irritating Irony
Tying Tattered Trajectories
Enticing Ethereal Echoes
Relinquishing Ruined Rhymes
Stubbornly sitting stalwartly
Busily Busting Brain
Limiting, Losing. Lackluster
Ostensibly Ordering Oracles
Crumbling Cursive Curlicues
Klutzy Kerfuffle Kaleidoscope
Time for some funnies
Now what shall I write?
About klutzy old Jackles?
Should be a delight!
Been quite renowned
For his blunders at times
Here are a few
Of his more classical kind!
Riding his bike
And passing a parked car
Door opens... a collision...
He falls on his ****!
Floating on icebergs
And under some bridges
Berg disappears...
Water quite frigid!
Trying to impress
This acquaintance of old
Talked for a while
Then walked into a pole!
Oblivious, don't notice
While strolling with friends
A crotch high stake...
Doubled over I bend!
They weren't always funny
Well not at the time
Luckily, the injuries
Weren't the serious kind!
My name is unimportant,
I can barely speak out loud.
Your beauty strikes my heart
And I am in a cloud
I love you, pretty lady.
More than the woman that works at Denny’s.
Your hair is like fine straw,
And colored bright like honey.
If I were sw’ave and classy de…bonair,
I would buy a horse and take you to the movies.
I am a little left of right and up from center.
But I know you are the one.
Marry me, Princess of the rainbow.
Color my world with crayons, let them never bleed.
Make me laugh and sing,
My very best friend, My future, My queen.
Look this is not a ‘Bang Up To The Elephant’ poem
It splits licks like ‘Bit Buttered Up The Bacon’ but
Come on don’t we poets like forgotten phrases
Klutzy Kai is not ‘Smothering A Parrot’ does not drink
Except those mysterious phrases that do not ‘Kill The Canary’
To win or not to win a contest is not the quirky question
Yours truly is ‘Mad As Hops’ but not ‘Tight As A Boiled Owl’
Such a ‘Tatur-Trap’ ‘Dash My Wig’
Pure ‘Skilamalink ‘Umber-Cum-Stumble’ ‘Whooperups’
Lost in ‘Battyfang’ ‘Podsnappery’
Irksome or ‘Goddie gum drops’ 'Jolly Hockey Sticks'
To the tee and ‘Damfino’ if Kai knows what he means but his
'Saucebox’ had ‘Nanty Narking’ now ? Splickety Licks?
08th April 2018
Written for the Acrostic Contest 'Lickety Split'
I used the plural deliberately, because words come very rapidly.
Once there was a Klutzy Duck
Had problems day and night – yuck
Until he came across a young Dragon that was also out of luck
They started a conversation and found that both had incidences that suck
Dragon showed the Duck that his friends could help and do a pick-me-up
Duck also shared his experiences and remarked on the new friendship struck
They laughed and found that together they could take their moments out of the muck
We won’t mention that the Dragon and Duck were sitting on a new Chevy truck
Now the owner of the vehicle, a guy named Puck
Found muddy Dragon and Duck prints all over that had stuck
Time for some giggles
Now what shall I write?
About klutzy old Jack?
Should be a delight!
Been quite renowned
For his blunders at times
Here are a few
Of his more classical kind!
Riding his bike
Passing a parked car
Door opens... a collision...
He falls on his ****!
Floating on icebergs
And under some bridges
Berg disappears...
Water quite frigid!
Trying to impress
This acquaintance of old
Talked for a while
And walked into a pole!
Oblivious, don't notice
While strolling with friends
A crotch high stake...
Doubled over I bend!
They weren't always funny
Well not at the time
Luckily, the injuries
Weren't the serious kind!
© Jack Ellison 2014
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