Insult Poems | Examples

Keelhaul

"Thou a cacodemon" jeered the crowd.
She heard all those voices , clear and loud.
They stormed and cowed her down. 
All they wanted was to see her drown.

Tired of all the incessant goad.
She chose to lurk in her abode.
She's now another dancing clown.
With griefs that weigh her down. ??

Uh, did I insult you maybe?

I mean you know I am not sure because mom used to say I am fat but the doctor said I am healthy.
You know but you said once you weigh 61.
But do you feel insulted when you look at me and then you try to reflect to it to you.
You don't look like me you know.
Don't worry about that.
When we were at the Park and sat at these scale things were you can woop around they were kinda straight you know so when we both sat there I found it cool how even it was.
You don't need to feel ugly after I said: ,,Do you weight the same like me?",
I mean if you did.
You know you are a boy you can eat how much you want that's good for you.
You need that.
But I am a girl.
So I really hope you didn't felt anything after that.

Comedic Moments

Comedic moments when some people talk harshly about things they couldn't understand 
It's like trying to criticize the ground where they stand 
Without understanding how it came to be 
Even dirt on their faces, they could not see


Self Insult

Don't insult yourself by believing that others are dumb just because you are dumb. For sure, there are others who can do what you can't and there are those who can do things excellently, like writing.

Thinking that others can't just because you can't is a self insult.

April 20 Standup Comedy The Trump Insult Comedy Tour!

April 20—Standup Comedy – The  Insult Comedy Tour!

How and why he 
Remains so popular 
With some Americans
Remains a mystery.

He remains me 
Of an old-time insult
Comedian, Don Rickles
 
Who was infamous
For insulting his audience
Who loved his edgy comic stylings,
As he cruelly mocked 
everything and everyone.

But, over time, people got tired
 of his routine
And his style of humor faded away
But he has resurrected 
The insult comedy routine.

Going to his rallies
Is akin to a religious revival
For some people.

They delight in being 
Part of his whole mad 
Carnival scene.

but for many of us
the T comedy tour
is no longer funny
if it ever was.

Premium Member Equal Opportunity Insult

Who only considers self first
With an ego never reversed
A will to exploit 
With skill so adroit
Is a thing that Trump has rehearsed

The U.S. cadaver-in-chief
Has a son con artist and thief
Put Hunter in Trump's cell
Where they'd sit for a spell
On toilets without the gold leaf 

Authors note: i'm not fond of selfish/corrupt people. There are so many wonderful denizens on the planet...why should any of the bad ones who have money get away with illegal and immoral acts?


Premium Member Was That An Insult

What was that you said?

I wish you would repeat it.

What, cat got your tongue?

Adult Spare Insults

A long stare at one is plain insult:
I’ve never done that to an adult,
Even one in his dying Renault,
Badly harassing him with some fault,
Wanting to end up in their own vault
Or owner dispatch to his own vault…

But should one adult spare insults,
Who has been offering open assaults
And could on a youth use catapults 
With all their devastating results?

Indeed, respect is reciprocal:
On this never stop being the vocal, 
Your stand points incisively focal, 
Whether in town or a place local…

This for the consumption of the child 
Beginning to sprout wings a bit wild…

A Car To a Mechanic

These days good cars oddly somersault,
So this jeep you keep ridding of fault
Big cash you shall be getting plus malt;
Journey time I might speed catapult;
Now,alive and kicking,next in vault...
My dear wife won't fancy the result:
Sure to her hit like rudest insult

Today,jeeps could neatly somersault
And I mean the serviced for cursed fault
But their mechanics neatly assault,
Their Goliaths kill with catapult
If you can,you should this bravely halt
Here cars are the meals and you the salt.

Premium Member Those Who Irk

Those who make ethnic boxes on forms we must check.
Who of those get lost in life's shuffle who holds the deck?
Irk! It's insanity, those who think Jesus loves them most.
Long live humanity—Armenia was the first Christian host!
There are those who use Christianity to end their rant.  
They use it only to put forth their political slant.
Those who blame the government and stir up a fuss.
Weren’t they taught early on the government is us?
Those who say they're sorry but show no remorse.
Then do the same things while they ride their high horse.

Premium Member The Onion Headed Boy

I want to tell you lastly
The smell of you is ghastly.

Premium Member Insult

That dirty green hearse (the
     first one I'd ever seen)
Mushed through traffic
Like a Notre Dame back
     on a muddy field.
Dripped slush, tears
Aiming straight down
A hollow cheek
     and left to mingle
     unnoticed on concrete,
And flung salty sleet
Bathing me in half-hearted
     insult,
Two miles from no-land
And a scented corpse.


slightly edited June 30, 2021

Insults and Embers

Don't throw me insults
    in the form of embers ...
    I might as well deviate
     and not be hit ...
    But your poor hands,
    they could be burned ...!

Tamed

He called up the contact
The contact gave his name and number
The number was a familiar one
Old Nick's address 666
The name needed verifying
Biatch Wanker 
Can you spell it again?
The line was bad
Remember son
Gothic music is the best
And Satan is a heavy metal God
See you at the gig
Dress in black...

Insult Added To Injury and Purjury

Insult Added To Injury and Perjury

Trump was an insult added to injury,
And person who  committed perjury;
A total insult,
Is final result,
And his imbecilic brain needs surgery.

Jim Horn

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