I sit here in this room behind these four walls, I've never felt so alone. I'm surrounded by family and friends that I love and yet my heart feels empty and cold. I expected the best but have gotten the worst, I feel like I just can't go on. I'm fine on the outside but inside in hurt, I'm so tired of playing along. The demons are whispering in my ear and sweetly calling my name. They try to breathe in every ounce of my soul. Their voices, they drive me insaine. I feel like I'm fighting myself for my life, I stumble with every blow. With every hit, I slowly forget the woman I used to know. The voices they echo inside of my head, taunting me all of the time. They're taking control but I won't let go. I'm holding on for dear life.
I've been hurt more than you know, there is so much I've been through, I've been hit, pushed, shoved and choked until I've turned blue.
My heart's been broke and torn apart it's a miracle it still works, and even though I'm strong and wear a smile, on the inside it really hurts.
I've lost so many loved ones along with a lot of friends, everything for me seems to end before it ever even begins.
No, my life has not been easy, it's had bumps along the way and I'm left broken hearted each and every day.
It's something I should be used to, but it's hard getting used to being in pain, it's hard to get used to feeling empty inside, and it's hard to keep myself from going insaine.
I do my best to hold it together and I try to stay strong, and I manage to say I'm okay when there's more than a little bit wrong.
I know things will get better, I know it just takes some time, and even in the stormiest weather the sun will always shine.
as i look to the mirrior and realize theres no need for this constant crying and syeing. dont let thee unknowen take u down with out sounding ur voice. To gain the royal crown to bring us in this hip hop town.Makeing every partying fool watch there love's drop down and move round and round.To the kick ass sound but as we hear your gourges sound of ur voice. Starting to dround us out trying to get us to walk out. Do to the how loud and the sexy wemon coming to groove around me .forceing my eyes to bleed in craveing for for more loveing.But as i wish of that i will say to have my singing skill wich im for real. my meaning with that i can also make u a live's real big deal.If u feel what say so as i came to realty realizeing for this is a sad,glad but learning dream. so best thing when u see me never scream when u cacht me in my singing. as my trail gets rugged and i grow smurking. only cuz u grow jeluosy but also go insaine. as u head for the door think of all uve passed. Just turn face back give them ur burn show wat uve learnd !!
my fingers drum the wall as i hear the angels and demons that surround me!my heart burns for the angelic beams i cannot have!they say i am insaine but how insaine are they too believe that god does not exsist in my life!this battle i fight i fight for him,a spirital battle that most people don't have too deal with in life!as the time goes foward my time here deminishes!
If I Had Wings
From the very depths of my soul, I cried out to God,
"Can you hear me, Jesus?" I cried.
But the heavens were shut up like brass.
Nothing I cried would get through--Alas!
My heart writhes...
Morning, Noon, and Night.
Oh, 'if I had wings', I would fly--fly--
Away from this desert place so crass!
"If you don't have a dream, how can you have a dream come true?"
Certainly not in America!
This land breeds the Vain, the Lame, the Pain, the Insaine,
And all for Potter's Field.
But I know, "A Change Is Gonna Come".
Yet, when I call to God, the heavens are still shut-up like brass.
They are closed, silent, impenetrable, and impervious to me
So, I weep...
Long past seem the days of times happy and my eyes not shed tears of sorrow.
I am now "running on empty"..
And heavy is my shield.
If God would but hear my cries --it would be 'Like Coming Home.'
deborah burch©
6/17/2012
What I Like In A Man
I like my eggs over easy and my steak a little rare,
Tight Wrangler jeans and my kinky blonde hair,
I like holdin' hands and 'pitchin' woo'.
I like barrel racin' horses, My pick-up truck,
And all night lovin' ain't never too much!
But when it comes to what I like in a man...I like you!
I like the way you look at me
I like the way you let me be me
I like the way you hold me tight
And say you love me all through the night!
I like talkin' to my mama on the telephone,
She always knows when somethin's wrong,
And she never tries to tell me what to do.
I like the wind when it blows, walkin' naked in the rain,
Hearin' George Strait on the radio drives me insaine
But when it comes to what I like in a man...I like you!
~by deborah burch
9/2006
this place is full of sorrow,
this place is full of pain,
this place is nearly to the point,
of driving me insaine.
i don't know what to do,
i don't know what to say,
i do't know why it all gets worse,
with every passing day.
my heart is slowly breaking,
my heart is filled with dread,
my heart is growing weaker,
so why am i not dead?
i feel my body tremble,
i feel my body shake,
i feel my body, at any second,
may just crack and break.
reality is broken,
reality is not here,
reality has turned into,
the things i hate and fear.
the shadows will advance,
the shadows will arive,
the shadows will come at once,
and burry me alive.
smother me in sorrow,
smother me in pain,
smother me to the point,
that i'm no longer sain.
To be me is a feeling to be free to be me
A moment of silence with no audience
I run through the hills in mind
I am covered from the midnight stars
I have even lived a life to be made to beg and to be on my knees
To say sorry within every bad word that was whispered to me
I have painted a smile just to save the day
Life has taught me much some good some not so good
I have watched birth and the beauty of what it brings
I have seen and felt death of which your heart turns to pain
The loss still hard to bare it only brings my eyes to tears
Even thought my mind was being driven insaine
But always kept the spirit of who I am to be true
I see myself in many ways throughout the day
I laugh and I feel desire even admire my soul never to let go
You can taunt me you can beat me you can even tell lies
But you will not own me for my mind is mine alone
As a mother I love with endless time
As a partner I will love and honour my mate
But most of all I will love till my dying day
As my soul has no controlling hate ....
Sight of your nakedness I see
A hunger in me
I feel to your warm flesh
A sensation of need
Your taste is upon my lips
My nails run maps across your skin
Urgent moment between us
The want is insaine no game
Take my lust it is lust from higher must
Look into my eyes see how I crave
Watch as i give pleasure is now a thought saved
Feel your body crumble to my midnight attack
Wait till I start again my hips blanket yours
Call my name as pleasure to pain is crowned
Sight of my nakedness is now within your sight
Beauty of me to the beast in you
Your words haunt me
I could remember a time of love
What I thought could never be undone
Then it changed as seasons came and passed
The smiles turned to a growl
A duty of touch was impelled
No say was the game of the beast
You took your beauty and shamed her
A crime that you laughed upon
Your voice became cold as the touch you gave
You took my spirit and killed my soul
A killer of me as love was drained
Cruel like pain insaine
I took the sentence the jury was you
Completness of insecurity was your win
That was the truth in the life of lies
Beauty of me the beast in you ....
I can not be here no more
I look and stare at the door
Instead I do not see
I feel so much anger
Something inside crying
My heartless controller
Please do not follow
I weep from my stolen sleep
I can not eat
This pain is driving my mind insaine
Take these chains away
I scream I scream no one knows
I am dead in my soul
Can you not feel I am so cold
So cold
So cold
My pillow is the tear filled river
This life makes me shiver
I am starved of believing
I am me let me be I AM ME .............................
I so cold
I AM SO COLD
I picked up a new addiction today
I found it suddenly on my way is
White and powdered angel winds
Fills my mind with crazy things
I take a straw and suck it up and
Feel like i can find a place to set
My worries and ease the pain im
Not tired to tell you the truth i am
Totally wired now my high is slowing
Down my worries and pain are comming
Back around what was the point of getting
High now all i can do is sit and cry these
Drugs i use to ease the pain are messing
My life up and drivind me insaine i dont need
It anymore im done my pain and suffering is
Somthing i will overcome.
by cortney stone
Being with you
in your grace,
this feeling of love
can't be replaced.
You're gentle and trusting,
I admire your ways...
believe me love,
you drive me insaine!
So, let us unite,
let us close the deal;
your love and thought
Is all I can feel.
Thank you for all
the time we've shared.
Now let's make it forever
and have our love be declared!
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