THE GREAT CROHNS ADVENTURE
You shake. You sweat. You ain't dead yet
But you've died a thousand times a day.
You smile at everyone you meet
But when you cross the street
You hope a trucik gets in your way.
You don't know when it came to you
it's always been your closest friend,
and all the pain you're going through'
reminds you what you're going to,
a time when friendships never end.
You curse. You swear. You pray to die
there in the bathroom, you know why.
and suddenly, you have another friend,
the pouch you'll wear, until your end,
the pouch you'll wear, until your end.
But sadness is a blessing from
A poets words, and from a song
If you can write these words into
the poetry that comes from you,
then all the pain is worth what comes from you.
I am the ghost that haunts these hallowed halls...
Her I shall remain inside these walls...
Until the grim reaper comes to call...
And my body falls.
When the pain is more than I can take...
With a pain so ravaging it can never be slaked...
I pray the Lord my soul to take...
Before my heart completely breaks.
If I should wake in the morning again...
I shall still be the ghost within...
These hallowed halls is where it did begin...
And I will haunt them until the end.
I am the invisible girl you will never meet...
Yet the ghost you can not see is always fooled by deceit...
But I shall not retreat...
Or admit defeat.
So when the sun rises in a cloudless sky,
The ghost will cry...
And I shall not go nigh...
I shall remain a ghost for the rest of my life.
MODPS
Oh pain that infiltrates my private space;
hearken towards the pasting,
beating at the bright blue sky.
There's not a comfort in thy kingdom,
no sanctuary in thy womb.
My wings a torn,
collapsed in store;
wherever clouds float by,
I here witnessed bright blue sky.
Oh pain that infiltrates my private space,
and beats it's fist upon my door,
with tears I tell you no;
with saddened eyes,
I pray for sky.
Oh that bright blue sky;
and my chance to fly.
...when will my wings heal?
wrote this one in the hospital when I was admitted because of 'aneurysm-false-alarm-
thing'.
Lying on my bed in the heart of the dark,
Listening to the croaking frogs and dogs' bark,
Lulled by the crickets and the mystic rain,
And the rumbling thunder and the flashes of pain.
Down the unknown road I fell asleep,
Knowing and hoping this pain would leave,
But all in vain I waited and wept,
The pain however never left.
for some are so good with words
but it comes down to commitment
failing results is like swords
the pain and the resentment
your soul silently screams
from what your heart felt
the delusional sceams
from all that was dealt
my fears i tend to hide
but nothing hides the real within
so much pain inside
the truth reils in and again
so do we make our own hell
the terrors that live within
time will only tell
when it comes down to the end
Sometimes we can make
ourselves have pain.
That is what I do.
When I don't want to do
something, I create pain upon myself.
I don't do it on purpose.
It just must be a reflex.
I can't help myself.
Sometimes it works and
Sometimes it doesn't.
I don't want to do it anymore.
The pain does hurt.
No one can see the pain obscured in my bright eyes. Sad how nobody can tell that I'm
hiding it. Maybe no one care maybe they are too scared to ask.. either way there's no way
anyone can help or stop it. Yeah I seem like a normal girl but I'm definatley not.. not
really anyone knows the real me. I hardly talk, I dress weird, I get called "screamo" I
don't listen to pop like all the other girls, instead of dating the player i date the
different sweet one. All these things set me apart from being a "normal" girl. But I'm a
very different unique person.I may seem happy and crazy but the pain i obscure is probably
all the same pains all the other girls say they have. I handle my pain differently though.
Instead of dreading on and on about it on facebook over and over again. I write private
poetry or just silently or just silently grieve. This pain I obscure.
I feel like it's the end of my life,
As I take this knife close to my wrist,
I think why,
why do I do this?
I've got to do this!
No time to waist.
As I draw the knife to my flesh,
I cut slowly,
moving the knife back and forth.
As blood comes to the surface,
My pain slows down,
the pain and agony.
[Written at 13 years old]
I try to cut the pain away
But the blood is not enough
I pierce the layer that I see
The one underneath’s too tough
I hoped the damage that I did
Would make me feel ok
Though after all the blood had dried
The pain wouldn’t go away
Although it hurt I couldn’t cry
Cutting deeper still
The pain inside just wouldn’t die
But I’m the one it killed
And now I’m gone
Finally free
I took the pain away with me
I had to go because it stayed
And now my pain has gone away
Nights shone black and days scream pain filled,
A smile in the dark reassures the nothingness that i know very well,
I stood there stariing and eyes in the stars looked back,
I noticed that happy never lasts,
Anger, hurt, pain and sorrow stains the hands of all those who dwell in it.
Months darken and weeks fade,
Moments of security blur into minutes of anguish,
Second of joy morphs into days of sorrow,
Scream and shout but no one'll hear you,
Its like a grieving animal that eventually dies from the pain.
Years and decades seep through history,
The same heart break that i feel now they felt then,
Thats when i realized really and truly,
Pain never dies its for never and forever.
So much pain inside my heart,
I don't know where to start.
My mind is fighting every thought,
sometimes i wish i would get shot
Ever had this morbid desire,
wishing for nothing but pain, or fire
This love makes me crazy,
Sometimes almost even hazy...
I wish I meant that in a good way,
but for my actions, now i get to pay.
I feel all alone,
If anyone cares, please, I would like to be shown.
Where are you God...?
This is just a dark, deceitful Gary's Mod.
Life is just a game,
I want the fame.
I want success,
But I'm only a crying mess.
So much pain inside my heart...
I don't know where to start...
MY NAME IS MISSURY MY NAME IS PAIN I CANT HELP TO THINK THAT I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME WHO AM I I
HAVE NO NAME TODAY I SIT AND WONDER WHAT I HAVE DONE WRONG TO DISERVE THE THINGS I GET
PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I HAVE DONE WRONG I LOOK BACK ON MY LIFE AND TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM
BUT I HAVE EARASED ALL MY MEMORYS BECAUSE THE BAD ONES ARE THE ONLY ONES I HAVE MY NAME IS
HURT BECAUSE THAT IS ALL I AM HURT BY EVERY ONE AND EVERY THING MY NAME IS HATE BECAUSE THAT IS
ALL I HAVE HATE TWORDS MY SELF FOR LETTING THINGS GET SO BAD WHO AM I TO JUDGE ANY ONE BUT ME I
AM A FAKE AND I HOLD ON TO MY FAKE SMILE OH SO DESPRETLY MY NAME IS MISSURY MY NAME IS PAIN MY
NAME IS MYCAELA
i thought i couldn't make it through this pain of mine.
everyday was a challenge for me,id asked myself
so many questions.
why did I listen to a broken dream,but instead i let my
heart fly away.
but i couldn't figure out my silly feelings.
i should of thought of your feelings,I should of let you
know i cared.
i know we grew apart,I went to a new group.i ignored you.
you felt sad.
but I didn't know how hard words can effect someone.
but still I couldn't see the fact that you was still there.
but i wonder why would you be my friend
you told me you'll always be by my side.
I looked at you funny and ignored you everyday.
you put your head down and tears went down your face.
I stopped and looked at you,and walked away.
I didn't know how much pain it will put on us in the future.
but now i'm gone.we grew apart.my friendship is gone.
To wish for pain to take away pain is ironic. Rim filled to the brim with self loathing and
unsertity. I wish to speak of my pain instead of inflicting it upon myself. Oh so tempting to
give in.
I hate the world but mostly I hate myself
Sometimes I wish that I were someone else.
The hurt I’ve caused, pain inflicted
Something that I never expected.
I try to hide the pain that’s shown
The questions asked when on the phone.
Sometimes I sit and look at my life
All the pain, the hurt, the strife.
I push away the ones I love
And only think about what’s waiting above.
If I took my life today
I wonder what people would think or say.
I feel like I can’t hang on anymore
I’ve felt like this, it’s happened before.
I hope I get over it, but maybe one day you’ll see
That sometimes it’s just too hard to be me.
I hope you wont’ get mad or frustrated
But think how I’m feeling, pretty much hated.
You don’t care about me or how I feel
I just pray that somehow my heart will heal.
The time has come to say goodbye
I’m leaving now and flying high.
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