congratulate the unperceiving
contradict those improving
jab your talon at these neglectful
you spoiled their intrusive will
(Weekly Magnetic Poetry Challenge • July 6–12, 2026)
My feet are asleep
Not one of them
All of them
Old age is crucial
You do not feel older
But your body is a trickster
Your skin spots up
Your hands and neck have wrinkle rings
You begin to grow a beard like the men
But you do not get extra pay for it
When you fall you break your hip
Because the walker could not hold you
Because you are fat now too
News, Bah, Humbug
Miracle Man
1/16/2025
I was watching commercials
and was interrupted by news.
Read by opinionated anchors
with vastly dissenting views.
It set me to quietly thinking
which view, if any, might be true.
Would this be the morning
I saw truth makes it’s debut.
Each channel I turned to
gave it’s own political slant.
But before news time ended
they would quickly recant.
Then it’s back to commercials
which cause me to yawn.
But they pay for the news
from sunset until dawn.
Two days before Christmas
Finally, it is near
I’m so sick of the chatter and all the cheer
Smiling faces, warm hearts, and hugs
I can only think of one thing,
Bah Humbug
Everyone joyous and being extra kind
One would think they have lost their mind
Red and green decorations everywhere
Gold or silver tinsel, I don’t care
Houses all covered in lights
Attacked by holiday parasites
Radio playing nothing but Christmas songs
Honestly, I find it all tiresome and long
Hustle and bustle for a gift of something dear
I never get what I want anyways,
Slowly, counting down the days until it is over next year
Cinnamon sticks and gingerbread cookies what a stench
I despise it all like the Grinch
Some may say I seem a bit Scrooged
With my cup of hot cocoa and a cold-hearted rouge
Who knows in the midst of it all
Something may spark and I could have a ball
But for now, I look out the window
Gazing at the hideous Santa and reindeer across the street and shrug
The only thing I can think of is,
Bah Humbug
Harry Humbug banana had a bad disposition
His anger and bad temper often in full fruition
The rest of the bunch stayed away from his bad mood
Did not take long, actually, for they soon were all food.
Toto uncurtained Oz's stagey play,
his humbug wizardry didn't go astray.
In a balloon he vanished,
lone Dorothy felt banished,
on silver shoes she flew home all the way.
Come soon, at the end of this year,
the new one will follow- with drear
for promises to
change things I will do;
resolve to step up brings on fear!
It seems this is doomed to work out!
I make my list- then, with no doubt
a month may go by
with changes, comply-
but soon after, know I will pout!
My promises all go astray!
I cling to my old standard way
of living my life
with peace and less strife;
my new resolutions soon fray!
As long as I do what I should
instead of now adding “I could.”
Keep doing my best
to meet my own test
not reach for the prize of sainthood!
Ba humbug to changing my thought
to fill a tradition not sought!
Resolve to stay me
like I'm meant to be
as my eighty-four years have wrought!
is only said twice in the whole book
Why does Mr Sneeze have no arms?
A quarter of all your bones are in the foot
how many body parts only have 3 letters
what harm in being a legend
a rainbow that happens at night is called a moon bow
Sumo wrestlers make babies cry for good luck
Did you know you could swim through a blue whales veins
crying doesn't make me feel happier
the present only lasts 200 milliseconds
A truel is a duel between 3 people
-- ---.-..... / -.-. --- -... is morse code for morse code.
Here is 2 shovels take your pick
Illusion
It looks like what it is not
It's not always what it seems
All that glitters is not gold
Though it's summer, some feel cold
At the point dream meets reality
Reality may become an illusion
It leaves me blinded in oblivion
Until I say my opinion
We live in a world of illusion
I've seen blind folks with vision
Mirror images give lateral inversion
Yet we admire the distortion
The same way we love to brag
Even when there's nothing in the bag
O'er the board we nag
Weakened by misfortune some sag
On the pulpit mounts a humbug
Tongue spitting gibberish
Hallucination baptised as vision
Ripping off his sole mission
The more we look, the less we see
The devil plays the Saint
Bet not a cent
In the darkness lies the truth
Images in the head like kaleidoscope
Flight of ideas sweet as honey
Ecstasy sweeter than ******
'Tis from grass; illusion
The turkey and the goose are fat
Share them with your dog or cat
For COVID’s here, and just like that
Christmas, this year, just went splat
If the snow lies crisp and even
Do not visit uncle Stephen
For when the snow lies round about
They will know if you’ve been out.
It’s jingle jingle, don’t you mingle
Isolate and stay home single
Sit alone beside the ingle
Stick a candle in a Pringle
Ho ho ho, we must stay merry
Drink the brandy and the sherry
Save the vodka and the beer
In case it’s just the same next year
Been off work since twelve nineteen
Should be happy
Some say
But I don't look at it that way
I know in the back of my mind
The work on my desk is piling up
You would think
A co-worker would help me out
But every year
They don't have the holiday spirit
And never go near it
So instead of enjoying my time off
I calendar watch
Dreading that first day to back
After the holidays
Bah! Humbug!
BEYOND THE NICETIES OF CHRISTMAS Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Bobbie Burns
Here we go again,
I’ll have to count to ten,
It’s Christmas time once more,
Christmas songs ‘n every store.
It’s bound to cost a mint
It’s gunna make me skint
And all for just one day
Please make it go away!
The wife’s all in a tizz
I’ve forgotten the Buck’s Fizz
And the Christmas tree’s not right
Not straight when it’s upright.
And the Garland I’ve just bought
She tells me is too short
And the lights are on the blink
Got to find that dodgy link.
The supermarket’s crammed,
The car parks are all jammed,
And the sprouts have gone amiss
Cannot cross them off my list!
But I do this every year
Trying to find the Christmas cheer
It seems a waste of time
But by New Year I’ll be fine.
Then my granddaughter comes knocking
Wants to see her Christmas stocking
Then she reads her Santa’s list
Saying she wants ‘this and this and this!!’
So the humbug inside of me
Melts beside the Christmas tree
As she asks ‘grandad will it snow?’
I say ‘sweetheart let’s hope so!’
The Holiday Season has come and gone.
Bank balance for that spree is overdrawn.
Now I'm feeling mighty glum.
Since Sam wants a hefty sum,
The house and my dog I may have to pawn!
Entry for Carolyn Devonshire's "Tax And Finance Limerick" Contest
(Male)
Ah yes, the joys of Christmas
Excuse me if, I seem a little listless
Just thinking about, all of the work
Turns my smile into a smirk
Carrying boxes, moving things around
That fake tree weighs a hundred pounds
Untangling lights, that came unwound
The headache caused is quite profound
Assemble the tree. What fun! I guess?
Unwrapping ornaments, damn what a mess
Decorate the tree, well, more or less
Did you know popping bubble wrap relieves your stress?
After all of that, it's on to the shopping
Gotta have something to put in your stocking
Unruly children, screaming and flopping
Looks like Christmas cheer, went island hopping
Then family time, so short and sweet
Cooking the food, for all to eat
The hugs, the smiles, the tears we weep
Don't wake me up, if I fall asleep
Finally it's over, do it all in reverse
Put everything back, while you swear and curse
I can't make up my mind, which is worse
The work or the crowds, I need a nurse
So I won't be sending Christmas cards this year
No buying gifts or decorating, let me be clear
I say, "Bah-Humbug", let the ghosts appear
To hell with all of this fake Christmas cheer!
by Daniel Turner
Bah! Humbug! It’s that time of year;
I can’t understand the reason
why everyone is so full of cheer
just because it’s the Christmas season.
The traffic on the street is horrendous,
like a snail, moving at a slow crawl;
the shopping crowds tremendous,
no parking spaces at the mall.
The weather outside is terrible;
it is cold and dreary and bleak;
so cold it’s almost unbearable
leaving frostbite on my cheek.
Crowds everywhere looking at the sights;
the Christmas carols driving me insane.
And all those brightly colored lights
leave a glare on the road in this rain.
But I don’t even have to go outside
because I have no gifts to buy.
I can stay in my room and hide;
you see, no family or friends have I.
December 4, 2017
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