Short Humbug Poems

windows smile in Christmas City
humbug with no place to go...

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Hello humongous holidays, goodbye bah-humbug budget!

12/20/18...

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blarney
noun BLAR-nee 
1 : skillful flattery : blandishment
2 : nonsense, humbug...

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Ebenezer Scrooge
a miserly stooge
To him Christmas was just a humbug
Until three ghosts gave him a hug...

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A strict moral sermon seems fine 
until humbug ruins the design
be saintly  my boy
please don’t act so coy
you’ll thank me somewhere down the line!!!...

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If I could be that proverbial fly
I'd listen to Santa, wanna know why?
He checks that stupid list twice
He knows who's naughty or nice
Then I would know if he's passing me by...

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Toto uncurtained Oz's stagey play,
his humbug wizardry didn't go astray.
      In a balloon he vanished,
      lone Dorothy felt banished,
on silver shoes she flew home all the way.
...

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Harry Humbug banana had a bad disposition
His anger and bad temper often in full fruition
The rest of the bunch stayed away from his bad mood
Did not take long, actually, for they soon were all food....

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Love’s better when you’re a beginner.
On Valentine’s Day, you’re a winner.
For the old married gal
It’s a day usual.
And you’re lucky to get a free dinner!


(For Francine Robert's "Valentine's Day Limerick" Contest)...

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A Grinch in a hamlet of Whovilles

Stole credit cards, ringing up big bills

     Without checking price tags

     He murmured, “Bah, Scumbags”

For this is how grinches get their thrills!




*January 3, 2015...

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Poetry Soup wears a new face ~ it's like wandering in a strange place

as if blown away with tornadic force ~ floundering its way off course

after reading new lines, I gave a shrug ~ like Scrooge, I said, "Bah! Humbug!"
...

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Discounting the Cooked Clerk

Bah humbug humidity.
Cratchit’s counting on hot reality
with an unquenchable boss.
Air conditioner’s broke, but not.
Think Winter’s better? it ain’t.
Scrooged in Summer taint.

9/13/2021...

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For many years now,
alongside me,
a presence
has accompanied.

It is that helping hand,
that saved me,
from your wrong opinions,
your self-delusions,
and the lies you tell yourself.

Latterly,
it has been attending my own
mistaken assumption,
and foolish humbug....

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Christmas, besides celebrating Christ's birthday, is all about children. Christmas Windows is 
for the kids.

                                      I

Windows smile on Christmas City
Gloom's asleep 'neath a blanket of snow
Streets so alive with jingle tunes
Humbug has nowhere to go...

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The Holiday Season has come and gone.

   Bank balance for that spree is overdrawn.

      Now I'm feeling mighty glum.

         Since Sam wants a hefty sum,

            The house and my dog I may have to pawn!

Entry for Carolyn Devonshire's "Tax And Finance Limerick" Contest
(Male)...

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Bogg the steely bug took a smart drug
                                Played silly buggers in Biggie’s rug
                                     Biggie screeched like owl
                                       Hey,No fare, no fowl
                              Big Bogg made Biggie a real humbug...

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Season's grumpy greetings
Santa's humbug helpers
Sleigh bell's clanging clappers
Snowman's creepy carrot
Shifty carol crooners
Seldom enjoy eggnog
Sullen new year nonsense


Entry for the "Merry Christmas and happy new year pleiades" contest

Written 4th January 2017 - after the Christmas season...

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The mouth of Donald Trump 	
is bigger than his rump!		
Both  pump  hot smelly air	
which is hard to bare, 
responsible for  prolonged slump.
	

If he would only shut his mug	
and his backside plug, 		
so the air would clear		
and pleasant things we might hear,	
instead of the nasty humbug.


6/11/2016

COLLABORATION WITH SONNY ROPER...

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Now all throughout the land we hear it said,
'Humbug' rings the air both loud and clear,
As all throughout the land the bills are paid
With Christmas funds we held both close and dear;
Without them, Christmas joy we’d lose, I fear.
It’s time to send the funds you’ve set apart,
Ensuring that goodwill remains so near
And Christmas will remain inside your heart....

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For many years now
alongside me
an innominate presence
has companioned my steps.

It first came to me
unexpectedly.
Did l unknowingly call to it,
invite it into my mind?

Now I would not escape it
for a single moment.
It is not the epitome of Right
or a truth seeking angel.

It is that being
that saved me
from your wrong opinions,
your self-delusions,
the lies you tell to yourself,

and it guards now
only my own cant, humbug
and say-so....

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Been off work since twelve nineteen
Should be happy
Some say
But I don't look at it that way
I know in the back of my mind
The work on my desk is piling up
You would think
A co-worker would help me out
But every year
They don't have the holiday spirit
And never go near it
So instead of enjoying my time off
I calendar watch
Dreading that first day to back
After the holidays

Bah! Humbug!

BEYOND THE NICETIES OF CHRISTMAS Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Bobbie Burns...

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