the last time I laughed uncontrollably was last week at my sister’s house
She and I are identical twins
We were celebrating our birthday
I kept reiterating stories we both knew
Where someone put me down.
“Caren, what HAVE you been eating?” from an old lady who was stupid.
Because I weigh forty pounds more than my twin.
A stupid old lady who dresses out at eighty-eight pounds.
Every time I said that my twin and I hooted with laughter.
Here is another one.
“Caren, where did you PUT it?”
I would say this in the snottiest voice of my mother.
Because she said this to me when I was twelve.
I had been sewing a new dress
out of green material with yellow mushrooms.
I loved this dress and kept working on it night after night.
Years later, my mother told me
that Daddy accidentally got grease all over it.
He thought it was a rag and used it to wash the car.
So, she threw it away.
“Caren, where did you put it?”
I still hear my twin laughing.
BACK TO SCHOOL
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In August, young Sam felt quite cool,
with a backpack, he headed to school.
He packed up some peanuts,
and a few silly musical cuts,
in his lunchbox then thought, “Aren’t I a jewel?!”
His classmates all chuckled and cheered,
as he whispered, “I’m ready, don’t fear!”
With a pencil in paw,
he scribbled with awe,
“Math’s nuts! Let’s eat lunch, I declare!”
The teacher, the scholarly Miss Owl, hooted,
“Pay attention, Sam, or to office you’ll be booted.”
But he daydreamed of the oak trees,
and the buzzing of sweet honeybees,
while plotting his next acorn loot.
OH DEAR! I'VE LOST ME SPECS!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With a twitch of her tail and a frown,
Suzy scoured the roots and the ground.
“Have you seen my frames?
They’re not just for squirrel games!
Without them, I’m quite upside down!”
With acorns and nuts all around,
She’d trip over roots on the ground.
“Oh dear!” she would say,
“Where’d my glasses stray?
I swear they were here, safe and sound!”
Then a wise old owl hooted near,
“Your specs are right here, my dear!
On your nose, they sit,
You silly little twit,
Just look in the mirror, you’ll cheer!”
Dawn.
Night sounds of slumber
A few owls hooted their last nightly call,
And cicadas ended their rhythmic, high-pitched whine
In obedience to the rising of the warm sun rays.
The buzzing bees commence their flight,
Flitting from flower to flower, sucking nectar.
The zinnias sway in the light breeze
And mingle with butterflies, so elegant and bright.
Light and soft I hear the flutter of the old oak trees,
As they dance in the rhythm of the growing day.
While from afar the purple mountains
Shed their cascades down into a clear lake.
And as time moves on, I hear the monotonous toll
Of an almost bell urging the handful faithful to praise,
Singing softly some of their favorite psalms.
From the silent forests clouds became overcast,
Drops of rain began to fall. I hurried to my shed,
And simply admired the rain and its pleasant drops.
How sweet were the rhythms of the raindrops.
Pleasure and peace spread all around.
Through the park I walked, alone
As the moon reflected off the lake
I made a wish and tossed a stone
A sleeping owl, I did awake
As the moon reflected off the lake
Echoes chimed from the owl's hoots
Distant sounds- train's whistle toots
I made a wish and tossed a stone
Perhaps beneath the stars so bright
I just might find my love tonight
A sleeping owl, I did awake
He hooted a symphony that rose above
And just like that, there was my love
There I leaned against the iron railings
of the high ridge overlooking the bustling port,
where a large ship hooted its loud warning,
It was waiting to depart to far-off lands.
My love was surely one of the passengers,
waiting to depart forever. A small breeze
blew around me but provided no solace.
She will be gone forever, my heart ached.
A hot tear fell along my unshaven face.
"Hi there," she exclaimed. I was excited.
She was there beside me. "I could not leave you."
"Crying?" “No,” I said. “Just dust from the breeze.”
When I am old I shall be an acrobat Granny Fee said.
People will cheer and stomp their feet at me
The clapping will be thunderous
I may join Barnum and Bailey’s right now
I think they went out of business her grandson Joe said.
The rest of them almost laughed until they saw Granny Fee's face.
Don’t even think about eating one of my monster cookies she told Joe
His sister sneaked him two of them after supper
I am working on my sequined costume Granny Fee told her son.
“Not that again!” her doubtful son Biff said, rolling his left eye.
His children were silent.
Gram slapped Biff's left hand when it reached for a monster cookie.
In the summer the family went to the circus.
Granny Fee begged off at the last second.
“Hey! Isn’t that Granny Fee?
It sure was.
In costume, on the high wire, balancing her corpulence on a pink hippo.
The family clapped, cheered, hooted and whistled.
They loved Granny Fee's delicious chocolate chip monster cookies.
And they all knew that she had marvelous hearing.
I thought Santa wore red, the crow said to the owl.
Regular Santa, but this is raccoon Santa, the owl hooted.
What does that mean?
Watch and learn.
In a few minutes raccoons began following Blue Santa.
His costume was trimmed with white fur, but it was periwinkle.
Almost a purple blue.
The raccoons followed him to the middle of the pasture.
He opened his bag and began tossing out sugar cookies.
They caught them in their paws and squealed with delight.
Licking the frosting and slurping like piglets.
Raccoon Santa! Whoever heard of such a thing? Crow said.
Now you have said Owl. He flew forward as Blue Santa tossed crackers.
Crow flew in and snagged a couple himself.
Best Christmas Eve ever!
The plans had been laid
their dues had been paid
10,000 enraged Mexicans
heading north to behead Texans
For Texans had 'stolen their land'
almost two centuries ago
and with America looking weak as can be
Mexicans would not be denied liberty
The operation was seamless
50,00 Texans slain
Jubilation in Mexico's capital
Texas will be ours again!
All across the Spanish-speaking globe
supporters did rally
demanding millions more Texans die
in the name of justice, MLM, and DEI Mexican Lives Matter
But Texans fought back
they were not to be denied
Lone-star state soldiers headed south
for Texas they were ready to die
The world jeered and hooted
called Texans white racists and worse
Violence flared at every protest
Times were tense and terse ...
You may think all this a fantasy
and many with you would agree
But I am Jewish-Israeli
Mexico and Texas are Gaza and Israel
~ This is hard reality for my family and me
Someone decorated the woods with lanterns and stuff
The little girl was gingerly walking through, sure enough
Was it a witch, a warlock, a brownie, a troll or an elf?
An owl hooted high up on an oak tree’s branch shelf.
It’s a bit spooky, said the goblin, who was prancing beside.
I am frightened! Said the ghoul, who had attempted to hide.
Be brave said the girl, there is someone here who clearly cares.
She loved waiting to find out it was, as they walked by some lairs.
a hush descended on the forest with the wing flaps
giant bird landed on the branch of an honored oak
she looked around in the dark, her eyes missing nothing
the animals got insanely quiet, understanding her ambiance
she was wise owl woman, the keeper of the trees
there was nothing she would not do for the forest
a tiny mouse offered itself as sacrifice, but she hooted
she needed something bigger for her family
her yellow eyes scanned the forest floor in anticipation
there was a screech as she snatched up her prey
a struggling squirming rabbit
They were gnarly and snarly and mean with sticking out tummies.
I think they are horrible, nasty, mean, and maybe they’re dummies.
That is not a nice way to be, my mother told me, give them a chance.
I crept up on them and watched while they did a tiny troll-like dance.
Their bare feet were joyful, they were uninhibited and wild.
We think she is pretty, that happy tiny girl child.
I realized then they were referring to me.
So, I decided there was more to the trolls that I usually see.
They laughed, and they snorted, they coughed milk out their nose.
They hooted and hollered, and they picked their teeth with their toes.
They are so outrageous, but incredibly kind, and totally sweet.
Now I hang out with them every chance I get except when I eat.
I’m not much of an ogre he thought
As a chipmunk nibbled his twisted toe nail.
Nope, I like my fur fluffed and clean
And my nails…well, not painted
But neatly buffed and filed.
Damn! I hate meat. It like
Forever sticks in my teeth.
I think I’m a reincarnated vegan.
Toughen up kid!!
Grab that ogre vibe
Dinner will be anything
We can catch alive.
(worst hunting mantra ever)
An old owl shook its head
Asked its forever question:
”Who?.. are you?”
He drives me nuts
Every day
Same old question. Until…
That one day he said
“Who do you want to be?”
I confusedly answered:
“I am not sure.”
“Then go and find out”
He hooted
As silent wings
Took flight.
©3/24/2024
Writing Challenge – “O” Words Poetry Contest
Constance La France – Sponsor
I live in Florida which is relatively flat…this means most of the time
the paths I walk are smooth and even…there are no hills to climb.
Today as I stepped out of my house the first thing I noticed was the trees…
reacting, just like me, to a gentle morning breeze.
Then…somewhere in the distance…in a tree…devoid of light…
rising from the darkness…an owl hooted her good-night.
Next the first bird to awaken began to sing her morning tune…
as that same breeze that moved the trees…pushed the clouds across the moon.
Up ahead, just around the corner…they always wait for me to pass….
a pair of rabbits with their silent smiles…sitting in the grass.
Soon more birds began to sing…a host of birds I could not see…
adding their distinctive voices to this morning’s symphony.
I did not know the melody…or the words to their morning song…
but, in just above a whisper, I began to hum along.
With my morning starting out like this…I know the rest of my day.
even though I live in Florida…will be downhill all the way
Hello, good morning, iechydd da
No please don’t go
There’s the answer to a question
That I really need to know
He said he was an alien
A fact I could have guessed
As he was hovering in the sky
And very strangely dressed.
He said he was a hologram from
A ship parked in near space
And he was here because
Of a news gathering race.
They had communications problems
Caused by a star going Nova
And transmission has been lost
Before an episode was over
The only reason that
He’d come this far
He really needed to know
Who’d shot J.R.
I told him the answer
And he hooted with delight
And then very quickly
Disappeared from my sight.
I hung around a while
Just to make sure he’d gone
Then I resumed my walk
And just carried on.
That’s the trouble with aliens
They’re just so very aloof
They just come and they go
Without leaving any proof.
He said he was from Birmingham
I said that’s not really very far
He said that’s certainly true
Just the next but one star.
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