If he nodded at the president, hello,
the president would write it in his personal bio.
He told jokes to the Dalai Lama.
The Dalai laughed, even though they were about his mamma.
Once he threw out the opening pitch for a baseball game.
Two weeks later, he was inducted into the hall of fame.
If he was given a speeding violation,
the officer would put himself on probation.
After he works out at the gym on his own,
people bottle up his sweat and wear it as cologne.
If he painted a masterpiece,
DaVinci's value would decrease.
I don't always write poems, but when I do,
I prefer to be great, I hope you do too.
WRITER'S BLOCK
THE WOULD-BE POET
I thought I'd write a word or two,
Like all them famous poets do,
And then mayhap I would be known,
And folks would ask me to intone,
The lyrics that were world renown,
In recitals throughout town;
So I sat down with pen and waited,
For inspiration, breath abated.
I waited long into the night,
Then came the dawn and morning's light.
I thought I'd write a word or two,
Short story, pome, just one or two,
But seems to me there's no such luck,
So I got in my pick up truck,
And drove around to clear my head,
It did no good, my muse is dead;
Or else she's just abandoned me,
I prayed to her on bended knee,
But as far as I can see,
This effort's in futility.
DANG!!!
For Block, Block, Block Contest by Detroyer Poet
What a fun
I'm getting tickle,
to write a poem,on
eco-friendly vehicle!
Isn't it better
to write an essay,
old school days
you may say!
Let me try
for a while,
to write a rhyme
in my style!
I have got
a friendly vehicle,
with some eco-
just miracle!
Some people say
vehicle no:11,
capable of reaching
even to heaven!
I prefer,to
walk on foot,
what a vehicle
simple and cute!
Isn't it friendly
with some eco-,
you people decide
let me go!
© kashinath karmakar (25th May,2011)
============================
Contest:Eco-friendly vehicle
Sponsor:Robb A. Copp
Middle Rhyme
Poems using internal rhyme I write them all the time
It is a way to express and sometimes to confess
I write them in my own way and make a point with what I say
Poetry Soup has many contests, man I hope I win cuz I really want this
You do crosswords for fun, I write poems of the run
This is the first try at internal rhyme sorry I lied in the first line
If you like writing poems too keep em coming and I’ll read them soon.
My wife said write a love poem
So that's what I will do
Someone said that roses are red
Or was it violets are blue?
Oh well, you understand my meaning
You know what I'm trying to say
Your eyes are like a pickled beet
So stop looking at me that way
Your kiss is like a bathroom plunger
Each time you suck my face
Your smile looks like a circus clown
That came from outer space
Your breath smells like an armpit
That brings me to my knees
Your hair is like a brillo pad
As stiff as a summer breeze
Your voice is like a banshee in heat
My wife say's, "That's Enough!!!"
I tried to tell her I don't know how
To write this mushy stuff
LOSING HOME
I’ve looked so long now, seems forever
For a place that once I called home;
And I thought that I would never
Simply roam and feel so alone.
For a place that once I called home
It was mine so long, long ago; now I
Simply roam and feel so alone
With regret and despair; yes, I cry.
It was mine so long, long ago; now I
Stand accused of depraved desertion.
With regret and despair, yes; I cry
All I did was to write with assertion.
Stand accused of depraved desertion?
The address was wrong; it's a shame.
All I did was to write with assertion
Of my love for sweet, sweet Lorraine.
The address was wrong, it's a shame,
And I thought that I would never.
Of my love for sweet, sweet Lorraine...
I've looked so long now, seems forever.
To the staff of this soup of poetry:
Your mandatory categories are killing me.
I have a write on my PC that I wrote last week,
but I can't post it cause I don't know it's category.
If you could possibly create an "Other" category,
that would make life much more easier for me.
Is there at all any possibility
that one may one day write in their own category?
I don't know inspiration from introspection. I'm not too bright you see.
I've categorized this write as humor/funny
but it should have been categorized "Most seriously"
I'm always in a quandary
whenever I have to choose a category.
I am the anonymous poet
No one knows my name
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
For we are not the same
I'm kinda like that superman
Who has a secret disguise
Except I don't run around in my underwear
And fly through bug infested skies
I write the words that save the day
You could say a hero of sorts
While relaxing in my trusty recliner
And an old pair of bluejean shorts
I write the right that once was wrong
While trying to make it rhyme
At least til my wife says, "Mow the lawn"
But only in the summertime
They call me the anonymous poet
That word is hard to spell
Don't try to figure out my name
Cause you will only fail
lol.....Sorry I was bored
I can write a poem
That simply doesn't rhyme
I know you think I can't
But I do it all the....day long
I know what you thought
You thought I already messed up
But an old dog can learn new tricks
And so can her....baby dog
Now if you're sitting there waiting
For me to write the wrong word
I can write things beside rhymes
No matter what you've....been told
Well now I'm almost finished
And still no words sound the same
But if I make just one mistake
I've only myself to....fuss at
See, I've almost made it
For this is my final verse
For all of those who wanted me to fail
It's okay to....cuss
If I write 3 lines
Do I also have to kiss behinds
If I have the blues
Will you give this some views
If I write about vomit
Will I get a comment
I want to write a funny poem, one without meaning
So that everytime you read it, your going to start peeing
It will make you laugh
think of Giraffes
Possibly fart
and eat a pop-tart
Who knows maybe you will cry
only because its so dumb it's funny but you dont know why
This poem will talk about gypsies and snickers
maybe nerds who are nose pickers
Or maybe Chuck Norris
OMG did you know he drives a ford tauras
Who knows, maybe this poem could be famous
or maybe people might call me an ignoramous
Oh well, this poem I write one day will be awesome
Im thinking about even including a possum
His name will be Gerald
Omg HE IS PREGNANT NO>... NOT WILL FERRELL
Anyway Gerald will love snickers and chuck norris
Gerald will also get into a fight with a taurtus..
Scratch all that, that was not funny
Im just going to write about the Trix bunny
My wife said write a sensitive poem
I don't even know what that means
I could always write about flatulence
Since I'm pretty partial to beans
Okay, here I go
Something sensitive for the masses
I'm guessing it has nothing to do
With those bean's invisible gasses
That four letter word that starts with an F
Yes, I'm talking about fear
People can get pretty sensitive
If they're standing anywhere near
I don't think this is what she meant
But it's as sensitive as I can be
And even while I'm writing this
She's sitting there staring at me
So I guess I'd better end this poem
Before the fighting starts
Who knew she'd be so sensitive
To a poem written about.....you know
I've got my pencil and paper
What is it next that I need?
Maybe a little inspiration
Would help me to succeed
Let me see now what to write
Maybe of broken hearts
No, that's just way too sad
That's always how it starts
Maybe I'll write of romance
Two hearts beating together
No, that's just way too mushy
Maybe about the weather
Maybe I'll write of loneliness
Okay, I think I'm gonna cry
Maybe I'll ask some questions
Somebody has to know why
Maybe I'll write about cheaters
Or a broken promise or two
Maybe I'll write of confusion
And not knowing what to do
This poet stuff is harder than it looks
I just don't know where to begin
Well see, now look what I've done
This poem has come to an end
I must confess I cannot write a good poem
So I asked for advice from my best friend Jerome
if you have done the following then you would have passed the test
I guarantee you will be No1 poet, you will be the best
Ok, have you ever received a clap from you mom across the head?
And stuffed you mouth and nose with half-chewed brown bread?
Ever been rushed to hospital with a pencil stuck in your ear?
That penetrated you brain that the x-rays showed clear?
So I lay on my bed and reflected on what he said
So much information in my head
I know when I write other poets will dread
As his inspiration, seem so clear-cut and bold
Thanks to my friend Jerome who is six year old.
What a bad experience in Guantanamo Bay
Being called Insane
Then guess what friends
It started again
I’m walking passed the bank
Stopped, lit my cigarette with my gun lighter and had a smoke
Decided I’d pop in to check my balance
Bank teller thought I was a gun waving crack on coke
You know the story
There’s this big police bloke
Had me face down on the floor
In a neck choke
He said “You must be Mad”
Waving a gun in a bank
Well you know it already
“ My name’s not Mad” I know it’s sad
I remembered the last pain
Been called Insane
So I thought I’d adopt
The old name again
Here I am in a first class hotel
With all padded rooms in a white jacket all snug
With belts on the sleeves
That teaches you how to hug.
I write to you with the pen between my teeth
I write my plea
Tell them my name’s not Mad
Read my other poems my names there you’ll see
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