Long Funnywrite Poems
Long Funnywrite Poems. Below are the most popular long Funnywrite by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Funnywrite poems by poem length and keyword.
I’ve been diagnosed with Adult ADHD,
Seems I don’t have the ability to concentrate inside of me.
I get distracted by the simplest of things,
Hey, that was a foul! What are you looking at ref?!?!?
And cannot focus on…Ha ha, look at that guy’s bling.
I’ve been diagnosed with Adult ADHD,
Oh, did I already say that?
Hey, what’s this spot on my hand?
Do you think it’s something I should get looked at?
I’ve been diagnosed with Adult ADHD,
The doctor suggested some unusual therapy,
Said maybe I should try writing poetry,
Maybe focusing on that could help fix me.
Honey, why haven’t we installed the wireless mouse, yet?
The wires almost knocked over my drink.
Now where was I?
Oh yeah, I was going to write a poem, I think.
I’ve been diagnosed with Adult ADHD,
I should look that up on the Internet.
What time is it?
Cindy, is Spencer home from school yet?
I’ve been diagnosed with Adult ADHD.
How many times have I written that sentence?
Oh, there’s Spencer. Hey, you want to go out and play?
I’ll write my poem later today.
>
I’ve been diagnosed with Adult ADHD,
Although I think they are full of crock,
They say I have a problem concentrating,
I say that I do not.
They challenged me to write a poem,
I can do it – I’ll show ‘um.
Hey, somebody answer the phone.
What’s this – is somebody writing a poem on this PC?
Oh, was that me?
Honey, what was it the Doctor said I had?
Oh yeah, Adult ADHD,
My wife said, “If that’s true,
It’s the only thing ADULT about you.”
Very funny, Honey.
Now, what was I doing?
Oh look, Ohio State is on TV.
Maybe I’ll come back to this later – whatever it is I was doing.
This time you've really thrown me a challengin' curve, Mr. Flach!
You've asked this old "rhymer" to write somethin' called "free verse!"
To concoct such a "masterpiece" is agin' my poetical "religion!"
But if you insist, I'll give it a try sans my dictionary and thesaurus!
I suppose I could come up with somethin' dealin' with current politics,
But that might cause a flap with those who disagree with me.
Perhaps somethin' to do with hot romance, moonlit beaches and love,
But I'm not very astute about such things and would probably botch it!
Oh, I know! How about an animal theme about rabbits and their prolific habits.
Nah! Probably with my acidic tongue I'd leave folks "hoppin'" mad!
There's always nature things to write about - rivers, mountains and such.
Maybe I could concoct a stirrin' verse such as Kilmer's memorable "Trees!"
I could write about guv'ment meddlin', taxes and the high cost of livin',
But I'd get so angry that I might throw rocks at an occupied hearse!
So I'd better control myself and compose somethin' rather mundane,
Like feedin' squirrels and pigeons and contemplatin' the settin' sun!
Joe, though I doubt this composition will rate a Pulitzer Prize for poetry,
I've had a ton of fun and my first "free verse" made for easy writin'!
But I'd better forego writin' free verse before it gets any "vorse!"
And stick to usin' rhyme, rhythm and meter for my verse!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Honorable Mention in Joe Flach's "A Poem That Doesn't Rhyme - July 2010
I was set to post a blog today
Then saw the note that said one more day
I've finally mastered a comment or two
And say hats off to POETRYSOUP
Since I've moved my computer been in a glitch
Nothing I'd do would heal it's itch
Then poetrysoup had their big spill
And all of my dreams went down hill
Yesterday, I really got mad
And ran a program I didn't know I had
When it came up with 42
My heart was broke, my computer was through
Or so I thought
I read a little farther and there I found
A whole bunch of things they said made it unsound
I grited my teeth and said what the ------ well
Marked all of the spots and punched the bell
When all was said and done
It said it had taken care of 71
I thought than what is left
I wrote an e-mail and it was blessed
Today I got back to you
And wanted to write a blog too
But a note said not right yet
So I wrote this poem for you instead
I just think of the problems I've had
And bow my head in shame
For if I had had the problems like poetrysoup
All our dreams would go up in flames
So I'll wait a few more days
Knowing I'll write a blog soon
And until then if I get anticy
I'll do what the cow did and jump over the moon
Form:
What a bad experience in Guantanamo Bay
Being called Insane
Then guess what friends
It started again
I’m walking passed the bank
Stopped, lit my cigarette with my gun lighter and had a smoke
Decided I’d pop in to check my balance
Bank teller thought I was a gun waving crack on coke
You know the story
There’s this big police bloke
Had me face down on the floor
In a neck choke
He said “You must be Mad”
Waving a gun in a bank
Well you know it already
“ My name’s not Mad” I know it’s sad
I remembered the last pain
Been called Insane
So I thought I’d adopt
The old name again
Here I am in a first class hotel
With all padded rooms in a white jacket all snug
With belts on the sleeves
That teaches you how to hug.
I write to you with the pen between my teeth
I write my plea
Tell them my name’s not Mad
Read my other poems my names there you’ll see
I want to write a funny poem, one without meaning
So that everytime you read it, your going to start peeing
It will make you laugh
think of Giraffes
Possibly fart
and eat a pop-tart
Who knows maybe you will cry
only because its so dumb it's funny but you dont know why
This poem will talk about gypsies and snickers
maybe nerds who are nose pickers
Or maybe Chuck Norris
OMG did you know he drives a ford tauras
Who knows, maybe this poem could be famous
or maybe people might call me an ignoramous
Oh well, this poem I write one day will be awesome
Im thinking about even including a possum
His name will be Gerald
Omg HE IS PREGNANT NO>... NOT WILL FERRELL
Anyway Gerald will love snickers and chuck norris
Gerald will also get into a fight with a taurtus..
Scratch all that, that was not funny
Im just going to write about the Trix bunny
WRITER'S BLOCK
THE WOULD-BE POET
I thought I'd write a word or two,
Like all them famous poets do,
And then mayhap I would be known,
And folks would ask me to intone,
The lyrics that were world renown,
In recitals throughout town;
So I sat down with pen and waited,
For inspiration, breath abated.
I waited long into the night,
Then came the dawn and morning's light.
I thought I'd write a word or two,
Short story, pome, just one or two,
But seems to me there's no such luck,
So I got in my pick up truck,
And drove around to clear my head,
It did no good, my muse is dead;
Or else she's just abandoned me,
I prayed to her on bended knee,
But as far as I can see,
This effort's in futility.
DANG!!!
For Block, Block, Block Contest by Detroyer Poet
LOSING HOME
I’ve looked so long now, seems forever
For a place that once I called home;
And I thought that I would never
Simply roam and feel so alone.
For a place that once I called home
It was mine so long, long ago; now I
Simply roam and feel so alone
With regret and despair; yes, I cry.
It was mine so long, long ago; now I
Stand accused of depraved desertion.
With regret and despair, yes; I cry
All I did was to write with assertion.
Stand accused of depraved desertion?
The address was wrong; it's a shame.
All I did was to write with assertion
Of my love for sweet, sweet Lorraine.
The address was wrong, it's a shame,
And I thought that I would never.
Of my love for sweet, sweet Lorraine...
I've looked so long now, seems forever.
I've got my pencil and paper
What is it next that I need?
Maybe a little inspiration
Would help me to succeed
Let me see now what to write
Maybe of broken hearts
No, that's just way too sad
That's always how it starts
Maybe I'll write of romance
Two hearts beating together
No, that's just way too mushy
Maybe about the weather
Maybe I'll write of loneliness
Okay, I think I'm gonna cry
Maybe I'll ask some questions
Somebody has to know why
Maybe I'll write about cheaters
Or a broken promise or two
Maybe I'll write of confusion
And not knowing what to do
This poet stuff is harder than it looks
I just don't know where to begin
Well see, now look what I've done
This poem has come to an end
I am the anonymous poet
No one knows my name
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
For we are not the same
I'm kinda like that superman
Who has a secret disguise
Except I don't run around in my underwear
And fly through bug infested skies
I write the words that save the day
You could say a hero of sorts
While relaxing in my trusty recliner
And an old pair of bluejean shorts
I write the right that once was wrong
While trying to make it rhyme
At least til my wife says, "Mow the lawn"
But only in the summertime
They call me the anonymous poet
That word is hard to spell
Don't try to figure out my name
Cause you will only fail
lol.....Sorry I was bored
My wife said write a sensitive poem
I don't even know what that means
I could always write about flatulence
Since I'm pretty partial to beans
Okay, here I go
Something sensitive for the masses
I'm guessing it has nothing to do
With those bean's invisible gasses
That four letter word that starts with an F
Yes, I'm talking about fear
People can get pretty sensitive
If they're standing anywhere near
I don't think this is what she meant
But it's as sensitive as I can be
And even while I'm writing this
She's sitting there staring at me
So I guess I'd better end this poem
Before the fighting starts
Who knew she'd be so sensitive
To a poem written about.....you know