Long Funnywrite Poems
Long Funnywrite Poems. Below are the most popular long Funnywrite by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Funnywrite poems by poem length and keyword.
What a bad experience in Guantanamo Bay
Being called Insane
Then guess what friends
It started again
I’m walking passed the bank
Stopped, lit my cigarette with my gun lighter and had a smoke
Decided I’d pop in to check my balance
Bank teller thought I was a gun waving crack on coke
You know the story
There’s this big police bloke
Had me face down on the floor
In a neck choke
He said “You must be Mad”
Waving a gun in a bank
Well you know it already
“ My name’s not Mad” I know it’s sad
I remembered the last pain
Been called Insane
So I thought I’d adopt
The old name again
Here I am in a first class hotel
With all padded rooms in a white jacket all snug
With belts on the sleeves
That teaches you how to hug.
I write to you with the pen between my teeth
I write my plea
Tell them my name’s not Mad
Read my other poems my names there you’ll see
To the staff of this soup of poetry:
Your mandatory categories are killing me.
I have a write on my PC that I wrote last week,
but I can't post it cause I don't know it's category.
If you could possibly create an "Other" category,
that would make life much more easier for me.
Is there at all any possibility
that one may one day write in their own category?
I don't know inspiration from introspection. I'm not too bright you see.
I've categorized this write as humor/funny
but it should have been categorized "Most seriously"
I'm always in a quandary
whenever I have to choose a category.
I must confess I cannot write a good poem
So I asked for advice from my best friend Jerome
if you have done the following then you would have passed the test
I guarantee you will be No1 poet, you will be the best
Ok, have you ever received a clap from you mom across the head?
And stuffed you mouth and nose with half-chewed brown bread?
Ever been rushed to hospital with a pencil stuck in your ear?
That penetrated you brain that the x-rays showed clear?
So I lay on my bed and reflected on what he said
So much information in my head
I know when I write other poets will dread
As his inspiration, seem so clear-cut and bold
Thanks to my friend Jerome who is six year old.
(silly poem)
My pen gets stuck a lot at night
I try and try to make it write
Seems this pen is out of juice nite
And this muse has no pity of me
I unscrew all its parts to make it work
And scribbled hard as if it were a fork
Then scramble and unscrambled my brain
But heads swollen has been inside a drain
Still my pen refuses again just to write
My poor brains having infamous bug bite
I hate see my beautiful Muse, just slipping
But what can I do if she's bent on leaving
:)
Dorian Petersen Potter
aka ladydp2000
copyright@2009
September 9,2009
WRITER'S BLOCK
THE WOULD-BE POET
I thought I'd write a word or two,
Like all them famous poets do,
And then mayhap I would be known,
And folks would ask me to intone,
The lyrics that were world renown,
In recitals throughout town;
So I sat down with pen and waited,
For inspiration, breath abated.
I waited long into the night,
Then came the dawn and morning's light.
I thought I'd write a word or two,
Short story, pome, just one or two,
But seems to me there's no such luck,
So I got in my pick up truck,
And drove around to clear my head,
It did no good, my muse is dead;
Or else she's just abandoned me,
I prayed to her on bended knee,
But as far as I can see,
This effort's in futility.
DANG!!!
For Block, Block, Block Contest by Detroyer Poet
LOSING HOME
I’ve looked so long now, seems forever
For a place that once I called home;
And I thought that I would never
Simply roam and feel so alone.
For a place that once I called home
It was mine so long, long ago; now I
Simply roam and feel so alone
With regret and despair; yes, I cry.
It was mine so long, long ago; now I
Stand accused of depraved desertion.
With regret and despair, yes; I cry
All I did was to write with assertion.
Stand accused of depraved desertion?
The address was wrong; it's a shame.
All I did was to write with assertion
Of my love for sweet, sweet Lorraine.
The address was wrong, it's a shame,
And I thought that I would never.
Of my love for sweet, sweet Lorraine...
I've looked so long now, seems forever.
I’ve been diagnosed with Adult ADHD,
Seems I don’t have the ability to concentrate inside of me.
I get distracted by the simplest of things,
Hey, that was a foul! What are you looking at ref?!?!?
And cannot focus on…Ha ha, look at that guy’s bling.
I’ve been diagnosed with Adult ADHD,
Oh, did I already say that?
Hey, what’s this spot on my hand?
Do you think it’s something I should get looked at?
I’ve been diagnosed with Adult ADHD,
The doctor suggested some unusual therapy,
Said maybe I should try writing poetry,
Maybe focusing on that could help fix me.
Honey, why haven’t we installed the wireless mouse, yet?
The wires almost knocked over my drink.
Now where was I?
Oh yeah, I was going to write a poem, I think.
I’ve been diagnosed with Adult ADHD,
I should look that up on the Internet.
What time is it?
Cindy, is Spencer home from school yet?
I’ve been diagnosed with Adult ADHD.
How many times have I written that sentence?
Oh, there’s Spencer. Hey, you want to go out and play?
I’ll write my poem later today.
>
I’ve been diagnosed with Adult ADHD,
Although I think they are full of crock,
They say I have a problem concentrating,
I say that I do not.
They challenged me to write a poem,
I can do it – I’ll show ‘um.
Hey, somebody answer the phone.
What’s this – is somebody writing a poem on this PC?
Oh, was that me?
Honey, what was it the Doctor said I had?
Oh yeah, Adult ADHD,
My wife said, “If that’s true,
It’s the only thing ADULT about you.”
Very funny, Honey.
Now, what was I doing?
Oh look, Ohio State is on TV.
Maybe I’ll come back to this later – whatever it is I was doing.
This time you've really thrown me a challengin' curve, Mr. Flach!
You've asked this old "rhymer" to write somethin' called "free verse!"
To concoct such a "masterpiece" is agin' my poetical "religion!"
But if you insist, I'll give it a try sans my dictionary and thesaurus!
I suppose I could come up with somethin' dealin' with current politics,
But that might cause a flap with those who disagree with me.
Perhaps somethin' to do with hot romance, moonlit beaches and love,
But I'm not very astute about such things and would probably botch it!
Oh, I know! How about an animal theme about rabbits and their prolific habits.
Nah! Probably with my acidic tongue I'd leave folks "hoppin'" mad!
There's always nature things to write about - rivers, mountains and such.
Maybe I could concoct a stirrin' verse such as Kilmer's memorable "Trees!"
I could write about guv'ment meddlin', taxes and the high cost of livin',
But I'd get so angry that I might throw rocks at an occupied hearse!
So I'd better control myself and compose somethin' rather mundane,
Like feedin' squirrels and pigeons and contemplatin' the settin' sun!
Joe, though I doubt this composition will rate a Pulitzer Prize for poetry,
I've had a ton of fun and my first "free verse" made for easy writin'!
But I'd better forego writin' free verse before it gets any "vorse!"
And stick to usin' rhyme, rhythm and meter for my verse!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Honorable Mention in Joe Flach's "A Poem That Doesn't Rhyme - July 2010