Flatulence Poems - Poems about Flatulence

Flattered by Flatulence

Wherever you are, or whatever you do,
Let your wind blow free, it is good for you.
Sometimes you have to just let rip.
Some farts deserve a censorship!

To boldly blow where no man blows.
Whilst keeping people on their toes.
An innocent look, a silent whiff.
Release that gas and let it slip.

As people look, they may assume,
In enclosed spaces

Flatulence

Oh gaseous anomaly, of my digestion 
Escapage from where, is the question
A topic of much fun, hilarity and jest
School boys compete, to see who's is best.
Velocity, decibels, and length of time.
All vital in assessing, if it's sublime.
But pinnacle of fustiness has to be.
Sprout, egg sarnies and over ripe brie 
In conclusion a fart is truly

Flatulence Yes You Heard It

Flatulence has many endearing names
Most commonly known as a fart
A blow off, fluff, clanger, puff of love
Just a few from a long list and chart

Its an explosive common bodily function
Erupting, blowing ,wafting throughout the world 
Yet no matter how many times we hear one
We laugh like its the first one we have ever heard!!!

Flatulence, Poop, and Friendship

When I visited Victor today,
overwhelming stench drove me away.
We stood outside and talked.
I complained, and he balked:
“Don’t be mean. I can’t help it. OKAY?”

He let loose with a string of loud pops.
Neighbors fearing gunfire called the cops!
There would be no arrest,
but at neighbors’ behest,
they said, “Sir, make sure this problem stops.”

The police are now summoned

Flatulence

afflicting him as far back 
                as he can remember, 
    a lingering, embarrassing condition 
               he gets much grief for.
  

Loving Flatulence - First Place Contest Winner

Written: June 21, 2023

POOP Poetry Contest                                     Sponsored by: JAN ALLISON

________________________________________________________________
He admired her from the start,
and she quickly stole his

Spouse Cannot Forget Mine Suppressed Flatulence Upon Our First Date

Spouse cannot forget mine suppressed flatulence upon our first date

While yours truly sat here 
at the desk housing MacBook Pro,
pondering his next idée fixe apropos
for gamut of anonymous readers,
he unexpectedly, noisily and effectually
exploded out rear end;
perhaps ye heard or felt 
the ground beneath your feet tremble;
the missus didst not stir in her sleep
yesterday (May 29th,

Silent John

no one was in the john that day
so I thought it’d be safe to stay
	I needed to sneeze
	with hands on my knees
blew the blockage from my…airway

Flatulence

Flatulence has many a name
I heard the poshest today
A saying oh so eloquent and fancy
It blew me away!

This saying is rather grand
Voiced only by the best
“Attention one and all”
“Who is responsible for?”

“That waft of unpleasantness”!!

Flat

A scientist once said it's flat
and I again agreed
He said the Earth is very flat
and lay upon his tweed

A flatter man he was not
A testimony pleased
As all his back was laying flat
and logic cleared the weeds

So we could go into a future
where people proved him wrong
Until the day the next man said
The Universe is long

Now

Political Organization With Flatulence

farty 
party

Tribute To Flatulence

I like beans - They are my favorite food.
I like beans -  There's nothing quite as good.
I like beans - There are so many kinds.
I like beans - All of them taste so fine.
Boil em,Bake em,Steam em,Fry em
Any way they're cooked,I'll try em.
I like beans.I like beans.
I like beans - I play a little

Flatulence - a Subject Not To Be Sniffed At

So I write about farting and pooh
But fart sniffing may prove good for you
Foul hydrogen sulphide
has been found to provide
benefits helping cells stay like new 


Inspired by an item in a magazine which lead me to find a link and I had a blast writing the poem!

https://nypost.com/2017/10/27/sniffing-your-partners-farts-could-help-ward-off-disease

7/12/19

Thoughts of Yore

There's nothing like a pressured toot
to get you out of bed.
The moving sheets, the rustled beat;
of flatulence ahead.

That very sound to wake you up
and start your day off right.
With little push to shake you up
and mark your way in flight.

That everything you go to do
will be as night before.
When all you ate was beans and

Teachers Are Bag Ladies

Bags upon bags upon piles within piles of bags
Yes, teachers are the ultimate bag-ladies.
Rarely but occasionally a bag-man steps into our midst
But here at the elementary school it is usually women
Who drag in carrying bag upon bag upon pile upon pile upon bag.

I meet them at the door sometimes to help them out 
Relieving them

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