Best Flatulence Poems

For goodness sake, please stop
farting! I can smell that
foul stench all around our
flat. It stinks like a dead
fish! Small kids find it great
fun to let rip with their
farts … and then leave the room !

For fun ... Inspired by F Plaiedes contest… I will go...

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I can't believe what I heard on the automobile radio the other day!
'Tis further proof that nuts are on the loose and the world is in disarray!

European environmentalists, among others, who, mighty weird things espouse,
Are proposing, and I kid you not, a flatulence tax on...

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Movie theater crowded. 
                                         ...

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When I visited Victor today,
overwhelming stench drove me away.
We stood outside and talked.
I complained, and he balked:
“Don’t be mean. I can’t help it. OKAY?”

He let loose with a string of loud pops.
Neighbors fearing gunfire called the cops!
There would be no arrest,
but at neighbors’ behest,
they said,...

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Our invisible enemy, helping us to our end,
Not seen by eye, even by the normal shy,
Blowing plants and trees, with a smelly breeze,
Leaves, branches shivering, scary as delivering,
Now and then a gust, lifting up clouds of gross dust,
We complain, no remorse, knowing your source,
Not knowing...

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Upon the first date (decades ago) with the gal,
whose troth aye did pledge allegiance to wed
we agreed to dine at an ex-mex eatery
in north Wales, Pennsylvania, where angels feared to tread
carefully scrutinizing bon appétit the menu selection, 
a touch of Latin lick QED

all American version...

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A conversation between me and my son a few years ago about the man who jumped out of the balloon from the stratosphere

I was trying to explain to the kids about Baumgartners jump from the balloon today and how he would be traveling faster than...

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Flatulence has many a name
I heard the poshest today
A saying oh so eloquent and fancy
It blew me away!

This saying is rather grand
Voiced only by the best
“Attention one and all”
“Who is responsible for?”

“That waft of unpleasantness”!!...

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Got GAS--- Flatulence


Got me sum delicate tummy
Ate too MUCH late at night
After eight-thirty  for Pete’s sake----
Guess I should not have ate
That cabbage and raw egg cinnamon-shake
NOW MY STOMACH ACHCES
 Like the horn of auto blows
Like the waves of the sea shores
Like the rumbles and...

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So I write about farting and pooh
But fart sniffing may prove good for you
Foul hydrogen sulphide
has been found to provide
benefits helping cells stay like new 


Inspired by an item in a magazine which lead me to find a link and I had a blast writing...

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So Uranus smells of hydrogen sulphide 
In the atmosphere on the higher side
With the planet’s unfortunate name
It is the butt of most astronomy jokes to blame
With hydrogen sulphide so flatulent 
It enhances the jokes and is heaven sent
With the gas of the rotten egg smell
We...

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Jan caught a jet plane to New York
Where bacon does not come from pork
To end her trip
Jan let one rip
The Captain delivered a stork

Jan's flight was Economy grade
Stuck between an old man and old maid
In the middle row
Which way should she blow?
"Hey!  I've got...

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She didn’t play poker so well.
Her bluff was as clear as a bell.
   Her insides would quaver
   So much that they gave her
A hell of a smell of a tell....

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Bags upon bags upon piles within piles of bags
Yes, teachers are the ultimate bag-ladies.
Rarely but occasionally a bag-man steps into our midst
But here at the elementary school it is usually women
Who drag in carrying bag upon bag upon pile upon pile upon bag.

I meet them...

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no one was in the john that day
so I thought it’d be safe to stay
	I needed to sneeze
	with hands on my knees
blew the blockage from my…airway...

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