Dealing with the death of my friend
As well as a long held dream
doubling down on pain Auspiciously it seems
The two for one it aint much fun however
one serves to blunt the other
the slightest bit but never ever cover
The depth of these losses without bottem
Pain till now inconceivable
To lose you both unbelievable
Reality strikes again a hammer ringing on steel
Pendulum swinging from keening pain
to survival mode unable to feal
it will get better one day I'll find
the sky is once more blue and this waterfall
replaced with smiles when I lovingly think of you
Stop, Listen. the wind is calling.
Beckoning us to a moment in time
Somewhere ahead of us we find our limits
Somewhere in time we find our reason
we find our rhyme.
We fight each day a new
A battle for which our soul is torn in two
In the Hopes that one day it is made whole
And we find our selves healed and true
We focus so hard on the wars we wage
The battle in our mind
The fight of the day to day
We focus on these things
That we find are just a means to an end
And we forget to listen to the wind
We forget to feal the warmth
Of the sun baring down on our face
We forget to experience the seconds
And we forget to find our place
So stop for a moment. And listen
Listen to the wind as it beckons
Through your days of madness and pain
Let the song of the seconds.
Guide you to your peace
And in your soul you will find
Your healing place.
Softly I feal you playing about my lips
Brushing the bow
Nibbling the pout
as my longing tongue seeks you out
My feet are killing me
In case nobody knows
The chill is real
But all I feal
Is the pinching of my toes
Oh woe Oh
Woe oh woe
Follow me,it's this way Alice
Through the woods to the white Queens Palace
On the way we'll stop for tea
to visit old friends you'll be glad to see
Then you'll rest up so as to feal cocky
before you face the Jabberwocky
Some days you'll grow and some you'll shrink
Some days your chained to the kitchen sink
The twins are waiting as is the Hatter
You'll witness the transformation of matter
A worm will appear and dissolve in a poof
First at your side then on a roof
And when this journey nears it's close
Another fearful sight has arose
You'll defeat the red queen without backin
dispatching her champion when you slay the Kracken
Come hurry now,We're running late
For this your auspicious tryst with fate
How can you miss someone
Who wasn't even there
What do you say then after the fact
When you've offered the best you could share
Why is the cord left unbroken
A tensile strength of steel
Why can't I let the thought of you go
As I feal what I feal of what I feal
Silently ruminating with one hand to the stern
Unrelentingly plotting a course favor seeking to earn
Knowing nothing is garnered
Given freely lovingly through love
Seeking good will wanting return
On this earthly plain and above
I believe in miracles open eyed
I seek them each day
You won't catch me asleep at the wheel
If one should happen my way
So I say my prayers asking guidance
with a heartfelt inclusion of you
And a wish for understanding as to why
I do what I do as I do
With pain inside I tremble,my heat beat,
My heart beats im humble,
I feel like I'm on a roller coster,
I can feel i can feel
Thats what its like to feal the real pain inside
Inside outside upside down
Can this be as real as it seems
Yes it can
Can't fail
It be nice if you could see.
What your doin to me.
Turn around these people stab me in the back.
Nobody real.
Theirs a lot that they lack.
Try to hit me up when good.
Dint have my my back.
Back in the hood.
How do think I feal.
But you couldn't conceal.
The look in your eyes.
When to your surpise.
I was the only real one in your life.
Dissed and betrayed
now I go and i pray .
Because im not gonna stay.
Where im not wanted.
Guess they didn't want to play.
Im to hard to care.
Not if you dared.
Im not stressing.
I have all of my hair.
But you better beware.
I tend to snap.
When people say things.
And let they let their lips flap.
Its agitating.
So yeah.
Im sick of this crap.
Mess with me again.
You might regret it.
Im an irrelevant.
And its hard to get
What I say.
When I get worked up.
Novacain in my coffee.
So I cant feel.
That all of this pain.
Is so damn real.
Makes me stronger.
So I grab the wheel.
But I don't really steer.
Hit a big tree.
And its like I wasn't hear.
Be quiet.
No one wants to hear you!
Shut up
You talk to much.
You're annoying,
You're talkative.
Why can't you go away!
Leave us alone!
Whispers in the dark
Laughs all around.
The insults flow
Like water on the ground.
Just shut up!
Secrets out!
She knows what you've said.
She'll play pretend.
A smile you'll see
A pained heart she'll feal.
Is this real?
Annoying? A pain?
Don't speak?
Then what?
Will you like her then?
The pain i feal burning with in
Is of hatred
Is of sin
Is of lust
Is of trust
Is of a desire to feal ispired
Depression, confusion,Anxiety, and hope
All these fealings are making me choke
The tension in the room is a thick smoke
From constitently fealing my own hope
The guilt of my past is always in my mind
If there is a god please send me a sign
I know who my furture intails
So get a check on these fealings befor
this relationship derails
I know i love him my heart tells me so
As my soul reaches out for something to hold
I shall hold on to him with a grip so tight
Till the day he sees the light
My life is repeating
My hope is depleating
My fealings are deleting
My memories are leaving
Lost in a world with no one to care
Surrounded by people who only stare
To judge what ive done is to only condeme
To leave me alone
To not have a friend
If my walls could talk the would tell you a story
about how my life is very boring
To understand my true confession
you must first walk in my shoes and feal my depression
A wish to die over a simple lie
A cut so deep it makes me weep
A broken heart withering in sorrow wishing for a happier tomorrow
My love for you flow's like a river. It's that cool winters breeze that makes my soul shiver. To see that smile upon your face. My heart can rest from giving chase. To feal your lips pressed against mine. Run my finger tips down your spine. The feal of your skin so silky smooth. I know I'll win there's tomuch to lose. I once saw your eye's shine with glea. My foolish lies that chased you from me. For all these years i've had you to hold. Now from all these tears my face grows cold.How can I tell you about all this? How can I show you these things I miss? Like an arrow my love is true. Maybe tomarrow I'll know what to do. As for now I'll sit here and shiver. Wondering how to stop this tear filled river.
So many things have changed with life
I just dont know how things could go right
I feal like every day that goes bye that nothing
could just go easy as pie
my life has never been perfect
But there is one thing that keeps me the way that I am
my childern are what make me me
I do not think I could have made it this far but god sent me my shining stars
I do not understand how something so little could be so big in life changes are just a
part of life
So much for best friends
Now there are things we can not mend
I took up for you
And what did you do
You acted as if nothing happened
A stike of pain fully sharpened
You hurt me my friend
My friendship I can no longer lend
You have hurt me before but not like this
This is nothing but a continuous list
It hurts me even more deap inside
That you made part of me die
There are very few true like me
Why couldnt you see
But now you just lost one
And now you and I have none
Forget the word that you said
Forget the wounds that I've bled
They mean nothing to you
If only you really knew
I could never forget you
But I have to
I dont want to be here
And I dont want to be there
All the trouble youve caused isnt it enough
Of course its never enough
Im tired of it all
Its time to make the best call
Im folding in and chasing my chips
This is how I feal About this friend ship
Hold me close and feel my pain, my weaping heart as it skips every other
beat "Your Love" is what i need tender touches and sweet kisses like honeydue
melon on a summer day hold me close let down your guards heal my pain my
weaping heart make it beat in unison once more again put me back in my
body,my soul my person my Homosapean, my skin and i will never shead again
hold me close feal and heal my weaping heart once more again.
Jan 28, 2008.
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