beautiful red gushes through the exit
beautiful red drips down your forehead
beautiful red does not love you no more
but beautiful red hugs you for a little while longer
oh lady in red, oh lady in red
why wont you join us in the place we all desire?
dissociate your thoughts till it's no longer there
disintegrate your skin till it boils down all your sins
dream of what you'll see before you greet
disappointment fills you till you can't even breath
the tears that you weep will dry like concrete
hold it in not much longer
sadistic mind, hold me tight
catching one last memory before you drift back into immobilizing sleep
First I feel it rushing through my head
The lighting dims, My vision blurs
And nothing around me makes sense
This is where I start to fade
Or a More proper term would be this is where I start to dissociate
Or at least that's what the doctors say it is anyways
But not for me you see
It's different to experience it
It's like I'm shifting
As I enter into another dimension an alternate reality
Where I'm me but somehow different
How do I explain how it feels to have to live this
And right about now I've lost all my senses and I'm about to pass out
I fall fast to the ground
But I guess I'm use to this by now
When I feel like I'm someone else but I'm still me somehow
The light searches my translucent skin
To Discover I am heartless
And it's my fault I have nothing
I am a virus
And I must stay away
I cannot love you
If I don't even know me
Our Mysterial World
Our Mysterial World
I dissociate to observe myself
from outside my body
I feel separated
I’m dreaming
Flashbacks torrent
I’m in one place
yet my psyche is in another
Simultaneous presence
At ease with bilocation.
I unplug myself from reality;
Dissociate myself from everything.
Put my body on aeroplane mode
To go back to the daydreams and delusions
Just so I could feel something.
But when I return I always find everything shattered
And so I try to pick everything up
And get back on track
Only to find I've lost everything in me.
The bits and pieces I've tried to connect
Were long gone before I knew.
Hallucinations, dreams and reality
Look all the same to me.
No longer able to tell them apart
I lose, once again, every sense of reality
Just to be an empty vessel numbed with nothingness.
Divert I was you were, we were turnt aside, separate on spiritual, vessel side
In their mental health women often experience more negative effects
V Infidelity, arguing, infertility, and lack of commitment some of the top reasons
Official separation judicial dismissal of an assembly, partners, or official body.
Rupture breach parting sundered disjoin split dissociate
Covanant end to save our eternal soul broken no longer whole
Empty thoughts harden hearts broken miss spoken
12/4/23
I slowly dissociate from reality
As I solely gaze at her
And only her, as I do
I catch a glimpse of her smile.
Oh! how she takes my breath away,
With just a simple act.
For I don't know when it happened,
But here I am so deeply smitten by her.
Her and only her.
So forgive me, if I stumble and fall;
For I know not how
To gaze away, when she is before me.
It’s blasphemy for the half ashy to try and blast on me-n-my family/
Fits about brass class for free from that lasting Gee/
A ghastly last plea is all I’d need for a decree to decrease or desecrate/
I’ll diss a crate of hate with what I integrate and create/
Fate did initiate a wait to anticipate the plate with a faint taint and I’d dissociate
The phase we’d taste may have been a graze and raid/
It’ll stay and abase their grave base they blazed/
Fiddle away a trace to appear like zany raves/
Little to say the way his faith’s light is a conclave/
He prays every day for grace to pave a bomb wave/
Delay no more and move forward with your higher courage/
Away I’ll store her more oranges to ravish/
Fly high for yours and theirs as you’re a rad fish/
Plan and pour an attack dish like a bad wish/
A span sore and sad but a serene swish/
Send a band to bore and stand up to ceilings amiss
she had a burning desire; an egocentric thrill.
a need to disrupt the constancy of her life,
to dramatically dissociate from conformity,
and become the sole dweller of her universe.
one that rebels it's place in the cosmos.
she was already remote from the others,
outrageously imposing and other-worldly,
she accentuated perfect idiosyncrasy.
for her icy mantle that created fog halos,
she carried a core imbued with a fever.
she fanned the flame to burn into an inferno,
until she shifted her life into full retrograde,
bridging together the divides of her nature,
she activated her freedom and individuality;
a woman of color in a monotonous crowd.
with life's impermanence cruelly threatening,
she manifested every energy in abundance,
channeled her soul's sacred wavelength,
hauled her dreams into subliminal orbit,
for she had one chance to envision her self.
voyaged into a black hole of introspection.
unaffected by forces that oscillate around her,
she dismantled every negative tendency,
and like a celestial body as eccentric as Uranus,
she awakened her own cosmic rhythm.
I have become unattached.
My thoughts were displaced and torched with a match.
Ashes become fairy dust.
And that old truth became woven with rust.
In depression, I could still function.
But I was unable to cherish even a moment with the blessed sun.
When mania allowed me to dissociate.
I could feel reality turning faint.
I hope this freedom from guilt will never undo.
A life so far wasted from never questioning my view.
But by the time I became trapped in my haven-
All I could do is call out like a raven.
Everything that escapes will find a new herd.
And disinhibition has caused me to act absurd.
This mania I shall always remember.
Even as it is hacked away like timber.
But some happiness is not worth chasing, always.
And certain types of pain remind me of my younger days.
Yes, there are some months I do forget.
But these new aspirations, I do not regret.
M ysterious inner fount of creative genius
I deas merge and dissociate, imagination's magic
N egation and nihilism bubble darkly 'neath the surface
D etermination beats back rank demons and devils
Should we write in form to make a shape
Or let our minds run free, associate?
Such tangled webs within the mind are draped
Oh, to run as free as antelopes
But from sharp tigers noone will escape
Can we control , disarm within a shape?
Love’s enacted falsely , making rape
Inside our hearts shall we recover hope?
Such tangled webs the curtained mind creates
Round the marbled minds we half dazed traipse
Wherever we go hunting, we’re too late
Can we control our fear within a shape?
Collapsing faith cracks , can we concentrate
Or from the deal , do we dissociate?
Such tangled webs of mind make ripe our hate
Now sex compels but will can’t procreate
Can kindness smile and friendship instigate?
Should we write in form when we love shape?
Our mingled maps of mind might mangle fate
Your mother invites me
I realize not that you are tired
of me
Separated by a thin glass wall
You stare through blankly
Ignoring me
I shift and move
Hoping to gain your attention
Though you shift away, and continue the same blank stare
My attempts are fruitless, as always
It’s deafening when we don’t speak
In memory of times when we couldn’t stop
Your brother is much sweeter on my sister
Like you used to be
I feel sad for what I expect to become of them
And you audaciously criticize me
When I dissociate from a character whose ears are blind
To the sound of my voice
Hypocrite, I think grossly to myself
Though you are the one I love most
I am constantly reminded that I want you more
Even in the face of good times,
I am reluctant, for I know they will be brief
Before you stare back into the glass and and neglect me once more
My chakras are dividing into the solar system,
Bleeding black and cracking lines like sticks.
The thorn that wreaks its time behind me,
Left a scar and all I've to do is touch,
And I'm in another room.
My thoughts are gone and so is familiarity,
I think I hear a distant voice but I'm not here,
I don't know what here is, time is, when is?
Flickering of past and present, in a room,
I can not breathe.
The bedroom turns into a bathroom where I stand,
Even though I am sitting down beside you;
And I'm reaching down into my blood again,
That's trickling and showering to burn it all away.
I hate this rancid place.
I can't breathe and I want it to stay that way,
Time is nothing of sequential lines to stain my mind,
I hope it's dying while it's alive and forcing me,
And as I stare off, can't talk, can't think a thought.
I have completely lost myself.
Low spirits and utter despair,
She had lost all her flair,
Time stagnated !
How long could the wait last,
Dejected heart to the full to blast,
Incurable hopeless !
Sun could not shadow gloominess,
Her very being deprived of happiness,
Hope against hope !
The injury quite a deep and severe,
His vengeance extremely clear,
The wretchedness !
Don't suppress else will depress,
Just look beyond there's life,
End up melancholy, live to strife,
Shun sadness !
No recession can everlast,
Essential to counter depression is,
Dispassion,
Dissociate,
Flagellate,
Backfire,
Slam your passion !
Be sassy and warble !!
Written on 30/5/14
Contest- slamming battle round -2 ( my highs my lows)
Sponsor- Verlena S Walker
Awarded 3rd place
Now for contest- Any old poem will do #2
Sponsor- SKAT A
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